To Avenge
by Erestellea
Summary: Explores Edward's 'rebellious' years as a young vampire. What happens when he leaves his family to hunt evil and meets Bella instead? Will Edward's youth and bloodlust stand in the way of his love for Bella, or will it make him all the more stronger? ExB
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story about Edward leaving the Cullens during his rebellious years, and what would've happened had he met Bella as a younger vampire! Please review! More chapters to come. **

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I knew I couldn't stay anymore. I was beyond miserable. I hated this life, and I was beginning to resent everything about who I was. I heard everyone's mind, and it drove me to the brink of madness. I couldn't distinguish myself from them anymore. The blood flowing in their veins was the only thing clearer than their internal chatter. Their pulses and thoughts beat together like a war drum, giving me a pounding headache. It was harder to focus on denying my thirst when their thoughts screamed in my head, louder than my own. I couldn't keep up the façade anymore. I needed to reclaim my mind. I was leaving.

"_Edward, please don't go."_ My father was sitting across the room, speaking to me in my mind. He could see the ravaged look on my face; it wasn't hard to sense that my resolve to stay was weakening.

I gave him a pained look and put my head in my hands. Sometimes, hearing others' thoughts made it easier to deny my thirst. Some people were kind, had loved ones, and possessed a sense of morality. I could swallow back my venom around those people and believe in my father's vision to let them live.

Others' thoughts made it so much harder. Some people were evil, broken, and just as thirsty for bloodshed as I was. Those people, however, didn't deny their thirst the way that I did. They murdered and lived out their malicious thoughts without abandon. It wasn't fair for them to live, to quench their thirst, while I sat here stuck in my own personal hell. The best I could hope for was a life of solitude. I had thought of a better idea.

My parents understood the crippling desire for drinking blood, but they didn't have to hear the incessant thoughts of everyone around them. They didn't have to hear the evil mocking them.

"_Edward, I know this life is not easy for you. I know that your…abilities make it all that much more difficult. I am sorry that I cannot share in that responsibility with you. But we are not God, son. It is not our place to kill, even those that seem impure. You must accept that." _He continued to plead with me in my mind instead of speaking to me. He did not want Esme to hear how close I was to leaving. She would become even more distraught.

Carlisle and I had argued about our purpose on this planet many times before. He thought that we had a place in heaven, and that it was part of our challenge to deny our bloodthirst and become worthy of an afterlife. I knew from his thoughts that he fervently and truly believed in an afterlife for our kind.

I had spun a different theory. I wasn't sure that I had a soul to worry about in the first place. I was a creature of the night that craved blood, and I just couldn't see where a soul fit into that description. Even if I did have a soul, or some sort of greater purpose, then maybe that purpose was to protect those who were weaker. I could hear and confirm evil, and I felt it was wrong for me to do nothing with my extra abilities. It was my purpose to drink blood, and it should be the blood of the impure. If there was a God, then perhaps that is what God would want from me. Maybe if my father could hear the thoughts I heard, he would agree.

I looked at Carlisle, the only father that I knew. His golden eyes were full of concern and compassion. I bowed my head, averting my eyes from his. I didn't want to look into his eyes, perhaps the only physical feature that linked us as family, as father and son. The gold in our eyes set us apart from those of our kind who fed on humans. My father had never tasted human blood, and he even dedicated his life's work to saving humans. No eyes could shine as golden as his.

If I left and did what I wanted, then I would no longer share the eyes of my father. My eyes would turn deep red, mocking all that he believed in, all that he had taught me. I was his first and only son, and I was about to turn my back on his way of life.

Finally, I spoke. "Carlisle, I've never wanted to disappoint you and Esme, but I must find my own path. It's too much. I am… sorry," my voice broke on the last word. I had nothing else to say but sorry. Leaving them was the hardest part, the only weak spot in my resolve.

Hearing my words of goodbye, Esme came downstairs and stood behind Carlisle, heartbreak distorting her usually lovely features. She was screaming at me to stay, begging with me to change my mind through her thoughts.

I flinched at the force of her disappointment and sadness. The heartbreak on her face was further proof that I was a monster. If I could cry, I would. Even still, I knew that as much as my departure would hurt Esme and Carlisle, it would kill me to stay.

Carlisle took Esme's hand to comfort her and then turned to speak to me. "Go, my son. Come back to us as soon as you can." Esme began to shake, and he pulled her sobbing, tearless frame into his lap. Carlisle looked at me with a sadness and a love that I didn't deserve.

Without another word, I turned my back on my family and everything I had known since my vampiric birth. I fled into the night, running as fast as I could, their thoughts falling farther and farther behind me.


	2. Chapter 2

I had been traveling for hours, days, maybe an eternity. I was hundreds of miles from my home and, for the time being, sitting in a particularly rowdy Atlanta nightclub. It was 1932 and President Roosevelt had just been elected. The world was in the throes of a depression; you didn't need to be a mind reader to feel the tension in the minds of people struggling to support their families.

The club was especially tense and loud in my head, but I was hungry, and I figured my first meal was likely to be dwelling in a place like this. In the past four months, there had been several young women raped and murdered in the surrounding area. I was hoping that the demon who did it had stayed around for more fun. He had evaded local enforcement, going unnoticed in the chaos of the depression. I wanted to change his good luck.

I skimmed through the voices in my head, looking for anyone who may be thinking of murder, or of anything that would give me a lead to the killer. Most people were drunk, thinking about sex, or money, or bills. I ran my fingers through my hair, frustrated. I felt ridiculous and had no idea what I was doing. I discreetly threw out some of my scotch, so that it would look like I was drinking it.

I slumped down farther in my seat to go unnoticed, but I could hear peoples' thoughts as they registered my presence:

_Oh my goodness, who is that man? He is gorgeous, but looks so young…_

_I wonder if I could buy him a drink…would that be too forward? _

_His eyes are pitch black…_

Once again, I was reminded of my thirst. Even if alcohol held any appeal to me, all of the scotch in the world couldn't quench the scorching desert in my throat. I felt a little reckless, going this long without feeding. Carlisle would have never allowed it. But I was alone now, and I wanted to push my limits.

A woman was staring at me, unabashed, from across the room. She had been getting her fair share of male attention in the club that night, but I could tell from her thoughts that she wanted attention from _me_. She wore her hair short, which was popular for the decade. Her figure was voluptuous in a yellow dress, and she was holding a drink in her left hand. Even though she was attractive, there was something about her face that was severe; maybe she was tired? She saw me looking at her and smiled flirtatiously. I pretended not to notice and went back to staring at the table.

I preferred women with long hair…if I preferred any women at all. I snickered to myself. I had yet to meet a female who appealed to me, vampire or not; hair style was the least of my problems. I knew it concerned my family. I was only seventeen when I became a vampire and, after my newborn years, it was expected that I would show an interest in female companionship. Years later, I still remained alone. My father had tried to encourage me, and he had even saved Rosalie with the hope that she may become a romantic interest for me. Rosalie, albeit beautiful, was shallow and completely uninteresting. She resented me for not wanting her, and we weren't very close. We always pretended to be siblings or cousins in our human charades. I smiled, imagining Rosalie in front of a mirror right now, cooing at her own reflection. I guess I did miss her a little bit. I felt a wave of guilt for not saying goodbye.

"What are you thinking about, stranger?" It was the woman from across the room in the yellow dress. Although the alcohol diluted her blood, venom still flooded my mouth. She looked at me expectedly.

"Hmm, I was thinking about how much I was enjoying my drink…alone."

She seemed mortified by my rejection. I smiled apologetically and went back to staring at the table. I didn't like rejecting women, but she was drunk, and I wasn't in the mood. I was likely to drink her blood before I made love to her, which is what her mind had been imagining before she so boldly strode over. I did her a favor by sending her away.

I sat in the club for a while longer, sifting through the thoughts of those around me. No murdering ghouls, damnit. I left a generous tip and got up to leave, feeling ridiculous all over again.

As I made my way to the door, I heard a small, muffled sob. There was a child huddled in a corner by the door. I could see in the dark that the child was holding a stuffed animal, waiting for someone. Clearly distraught, tears rolled down the child's cheeks. It, he, couldn't have been more than six years old. His simple thoughts were pure and full of fright. In his mind was the face of the woman in the yellow dress. Did this small child know her, the voluptuous woman from earlier in the night?

I sighed and decided that, if I couldn't catch a murderer, I would at least help this little child. I walked over to him and tried to look as un-scary as I could muster.

"Hello, are you lost?" I smiled gently, careful to hide my teeth.

Instead of answering, the child sobbed harder. I saw my face in his thoughts, but an image of the voluptuous woman intensified.

"I'll be right back. Don't worry. Stay here," I soothed. The child sucked in a breath and nodded solemnly.

The woman was not hard to find. She was lounging at the bar, and two men were buying her drinks. Each of them planned to take her home later, while the woman was just enjoying the attention, too drunk to care.

I walked up, interrupting her discussion with the men. The men looked at me, first wide eyed and then angrily.

"Excuse me, but may we speak privately." I addressed the woman and tried to sound persuasive, ignoring the men.

"Sure," she breathed.

I carefully grabbed her sleeved arm and guided her over to the entrance of the club.

"Wh...where are we going?" She stuttered, but not resisting in the least. I tried to ignore the fantasies popping up in her head about her and me making out on the street, and then doing other things against the wall....

"Do you know this boy?" I gestured towards the child. The boy saw her and ran out of the shadows, clinging to her leg.

"Yes." She was shocked. "My niece was watching him. How did you…" she trailed off, wondering how I knew about her son and equally wondering where her niece had gone. _"Bella,"_ the woman thought. I could see in her mind that Bella, the niece, was no older than eighteen, a girl with dark hair and fair features. Bella babysat for her aunt quite often, and it was unlike Bella to leave the child alone like this. The woman was confused and annoyed.

"Where could your niece have gone?" I tried to ask politely, but I was fuming. This woman was clearly more interested in partying than taking care of her son and niece. To leave an eighteen-year old girl out here, alone, in this area, with a child?! Could the woman not have at least put them somewhere safe, especially considering the recent murders? Maybe I _should_ drain her blood, I thought acidly.

"I don't know where she could be. She doesn't know anyone around here. It doesn't make sense that she would leave." She was distraught, trying to think through her alcoholic haze. It occurred to her that Bella and the child had been alone for as long as two hours. She could be anywhere.

"Stay with your son and I'll look for her," I commanded. The woman nodded her head in agreement as I turned on my heel and went out into the cold night air. I had a weak vision of Bella in the woman's thoughts, but I didn't know exactly who I was trying to find, never having met her myself. I wouldn't know her voice. I would have to look for her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! Thanks for reading my story. This chapter is a little longer, so please enjoy, and I will try to write another soon. Please leave me some reviews, and don't be afraid to tell me what you'd like to see! I want to get a few more reviews before posting the next chapter. Until then, I send each of you lots of love and dreams of Edward! ;) **

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I didn't know how I was going to do it, but I knew that I had to find Bella. I had never tried to track down a person before with my heightened hearing, and I felt both anxious and excited at the prospect. The woman's thoughts, although mainly selfish, had revealed a soft and very vulnerable young girl. I worried that, if I didn't find Bella, someone much more dangerous would.

I decided to travel on the rooftops and listen to people down below me. I could travel faster in the dark from above, where others couldn't see me. I scanned the thoughts of people, looking for Bella. Hours could have passed without anyone seeing here, so I might as well have been looking for a needle in a haystack. After what felt like several minutes, I still couldn't find anything.

I thought about giving up, but I was too frustrated and angry at myself to admit defeat. Thus far, I was failing miserably at my new life. Could I not even find this young girl? She probably had some friends her aunt didn't know about. She was probably fine. Even still, I had to know. It had become a matter of both principle and peace of mind.

A few miles from the nightclub, I finally heard something promising. There was a man, and his thoughts were particularly calculating, hardened. He was planning to slay some sort of animal. I almost skipped over him, assuming it was his primitive dinner, until I heard what else he planned to do with this animal. What vile, repulsive…! But before I could think another word, I saw the woman, Bella, contorted and scared in his mind. Her intense fear was evident but didn't dissuade him; it only made him more determined to end her life. He pitied the creature who was Bella, and he wanted to put her out of her beautiful misery…but not before he had some fun with her.

Within a fraction of a second, I was outside the door to the filth's lair. It was a warehouse of sorts, and it looked abandoned. During the day, the area bustled with factories and workers, but at night, everything closed down. The monster had taken her here, knowing the seclusion that the area would offer. I could see in his mind how he had lured her from the club. He had stalked her and her aunt there, the whole time wanting Bella. Bella was fragile, lovely in his mind, and he had grown crazy with his lust.

While the aunt partied, Bella had stayed with the child at a café a block from the club. The monster watched from a distance, determined to take her. The café closed, and the aunt had yet to meet her, so Bella started walking towards the club. She looked clumsy in his mind, an easy target. Finally, he made his move. He had a knife, and had walked up to her, sticking it to her side. He reveled in her gasp and knew that she would protect the little boy over herself.

"Darlin," he growled. "We've been watching you and your aunt all night. If you want the boy to be safe, you need to walk with me to the club, leave him there and come with me. We won't hurt your aunt or the boy, but you mustn't fight, honey. Do you understand?" He breathed in the scent of her hair, getting aroused. He made it sound like he wasn't working alone, which was all part of his twisted plan.

Bella nodded, and did as the man said. She left the boy at the club, but she wasn't going to give in easily. Once she dropped off the boy, she tried to scream and fight, but the man took her into an alley and beat her until unconscious. He then carried her limp body off, pretending that she was some drunk whore.

It was a bad part of town and no one paid him any attention. The man had luck on his side and made it to the warehouse. I could see that he had been lucky before, with other victims…

Within two seconds, all of these memories flooded my mind as I stood outside the door. I started shaking with anger, clenching my fists in response to the rage that coursed through me. While the poor girl named Bella was being assaulted, I had been sitting inside the club, feeling pathetic. If I had just walked outside, I would have heard him! At least I was here now.

I could hear frantic blood pulsing through his veins, and venom pooled in my mouth. He was positioning himself over her, and he had already removed her shirt. The knife was trailing down her chest. She was awake, and he had his other hand over her mouth, gagging her with a few of his disgusting fingers. It was unspeakable.

I would kill him for this. I would make him pay.

I burst into the dark warehouse, hoping that I had the restraint to kill the beast out of the presence of the girl. She had been traumatized enough. I was hungry and would feed off of him, as painfully as I knew how. I would keep him alive for it as long as I could, make him feel the pain his victims had felt.

The man flew around as the door crashed into the wall. He took his dirty hand from her mouth and moved off of her, preparing to stab me with the knife. I smiled as widely as I could, anticipating his death. Let him see my teeth before they ripped him apart.

He lunged at me with the knife, and I couldn't help but laugh. I didn't want to frighten the girl, but I couldn't resist crushing his arm and taking pleasure in his pain. He screamed as I broke every bone in his forearm. It was so easy. The knife fell from his broken, useless hand. I then broke his other arm, intensifying his howls. His thoughts were frenzied with confusion and immeasurable pain. I already felt victorious.

His adrenaline and blood swirled around me, and I knew that I didn't have the patience I had hoped for to wait to feed. It had been days; I needed his blood. I tried to listen to the girl's thoughts, but I couldn't hear anything. Bizarre. I resisted the urge to look at her before I finished off her captor, and then it hit me.

In an instant, I crushed the monster's head against a wall, killing him. His blood was forgotten. Now, I was the one straddling the girl named Bella. Her safety was forgotten. Carlisle was right---there was an afterlife, and it was in this young girl's blood. I heard nothing but the pulsing blood of her veins, saw nothing but the blood moving underneath her soft skin. I was consumed by her scent. Heaven was trapped inside her body, and I was being called to partake of it.

I brushed the hair from her neck, mesmerized by the tantalizing heat of her pulsing artery. I realized that I was going to kill her. I had come to kill the monster, to save this girl, and now I was going to be the one to kill her. Even in the haze of my desire, I knew that I would have to die after this, and that it would be nearly impossible to kill myself. Even if I managed to die, I could never atone for the death of this girl. She was, in that moment, the epitome of everything I thought I was meant to protect. I would destroy heaven when I took her blood away. If I killed her now, I was nothing.

I stopped breathing, hoping to reduce the burn of her blood in my throat. I had to think around the thirst, but her adrenaline and blood swirled around me. I wanted to lean down and put my cold tongue on the hot artery pumping in her neck, just for a moment. I wanted to feel her pulse in my mouth, suck on it, make it my own…

Stop! Stop! I tore my eyes from her artery, her beautiful blood, and settled on her eyes instead. They were a warm chocolate brown, probably warm and deep from the sweet blood that flowed through her body. Her vile captor had pummeled her face, and one of her pretty cheeks was swollen and bruised. She was the most fragile creature I had ever seen.

I tried to hear her thoughts, still unable move. How much had I frightened her? Who was she? As the thirst raged on and I battled my nature, I became angry. I had lived among humans and never felt this kind of desire for their blood. Had this happened before? Why didn't Carlisle mention it? Was she some sort of demon or creature completely other from this world? Is that how she kept her thoughts from me?

With more hostility than I ever thought possible, I roared at her. "Who are YOU?"

She flinched at my cruelty, a sob breaking through her lips. She blew her sweet breath in my face, churning my stomach in anticipation. Yes, she was definitely a demon.

"My, my name is Bella. I'm ….visiting my aunt…that man, he tricked me into following him, said he would hurt…." She tried to speak through her sobs, her voice breaking as the stress racked her slight body. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, over and over again. She seemed to have lost her mind.

I continued to stare at her while she cried, unable to move. I was afraid that, if I moved, I would lower my lips to her neck and…ugh! Yes, I needed to stay here, until I knew I could move away from her safely.

After a few minutes, her sobs slowed, but her body stayed tense. I continued to stare at her, straddling her as gently as I could manage. It was easier to control myself when she wasn't shaking around so much, enveloping me with her scent.

She collected herself and looked up at me, a question in her eyes. In a small, brave voice she asked, "Are you going to kill me?"

Guilt washed over me. Between my hostility and black eyes, I could only imagine how frightening I was, straddling her like this. Yes, I was a monster. And yes, I wanted to kill her.

Looking into her eyes, I knew that I wouldn't kill her, not yet.

"Don't move," I said to her.

She caught her breath and stayed as still as possible, only her heart beating.

With deliberate caution, I moved off of her and ghosted to the other side of the room. My body cooled several degrees in the absence of her body heat, and I immediately wanted to go back. Was I insane? The blood from the heathen, combined with her tantalizing scent, was too much. To make matters worse, she had lost her shirt, and only a bra protected her chest. All of that creamy, warm skin, just begging for me to touch it! I had to leave, to hunt, so that I could think through this rationally. For the first time since I had left home, I wished for my father.

"Bella," I said with deliberate control, "I am going to take away, that man, and come back for you. Will you stay and wait for me?" It was unfair to ask her to wait for me, especially when I could decide to kill her at any moment. I questioned my own sanity in wanting to return to her, but I was compelled to figure this out and see her safe. Maybe she was a demon? If she was, I wanted to know. Besides, she was in no condition to leave on her own.

She nodded and squeaked out a hoarse yes.

Without another word, I picked up the cooling body and fled from the room as fast as I could go.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Here is chapter 4. I am so appreciative to those who are reading my story!! I will publish the next chapter if I can get to 15 reviews. I really want to know your thoughts. Also, would you like to read some of Bella's perspective? I'm open to writing that. **

**Oh, DISCLAIMER FOR ALL CHAPTERS HEREIN: I don't own Twilight. I just adore it. The characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

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I let the dark cloak me as I moved with blinding speed to the north. Thankfully, the Chattahoochee River was only a few short minutes away; I could dispose of the body and hunt there, hopefully getting back to Bella within a half hour.

Bella. Her warm eyes and blood haunted me, my personal demon. I had to push her far from my mind and focus on the tasks at hand. Although it was easier to think clearly with her away from me, the memory of her blood and translucent skin sent my head spinning. I needed to focus.

It occurred to me that I was in no way tempted by the cooling human carcass in my arms. Surprisingly, I was nearly repulsed by it. Bella's blood had driven away any desire I had for this blood, which was diluted and sour in comparison. The thought of having such tainted blood course through me made me feel sick. Bella's blood, if I could have that, would surely sustain me for a lifetime. It was so potent and raw. I shuddered at where my thoughts were taking me, forcing her out of my mind until after I hunted.

I buried the mangled body deep under the wilderness floor and quickly found some elk, taking down three in a matter of minutes. I felt like a glutton, drinking more than necessary. However, I needed to take precautions in order to face Bella again.

Once I was satiated, reality started sinking in. I flew back to the city and began to worry. I had left Bella with no shirt, probably freezing, in a dirty downtown warehouse. Normally, I wouldn't have left a woman so exposed. Although I hadn't known my little demon long, I had a feeling that trouble tended to find her. In addition to the murdering psychopath from earlier, she had attracted the most dangerous monster of all: me. Would something else come for her in my absence? And would she have fled the warehouse, despite my order for her to stay? Was she wondering the streets, alone and scared?

More importantly, I had exposed my abilities to her. She saw me effortlessly crush her attacker and move with inhuman speed. She had felt my ice cold hands brush her neck. She knew that I wasn't normal and would likely want answers. Those are answers that I couldn't truthfully give.

I knew the responsible thing to do. I should alert someone of her location, a police officer perhaps, telling him that I heard a struggle. I could watch from the shadows, secure her safety and then never see her again. She could tell all of the outlandish stories about my strange rescue that she wanted; I would disappear, and it wouldn't matter.

I approached the warehouse and instantly picked up on her scent. She had decided to stay and wait for me. It occurred to me that, as torturous as it was, her smell was already a part of me, engrained into my very psyche. I could hear her heart beating all the way from the street. Even without the ability to read her mind, I could find Bella without issue.

I had a decision to make. I could go back into the warehouse and try not to kill her, all the while jeopardizing her safety, or I could simply…leave. The decision to leave should have been easy, but I stood there, torn. Even if I left, I knew that I would always remember her heavenly scent and chocolate eyes.

I argued with myself. Maybe it was destiny for me to see this through. I didn't understand my appeal to her blood, my inability to read her mind. Wasn't it prudent to find answers to those mysteries? Wouldn't I regret walking away from this temptation, having to spend an eternity without answers?

But was my curiosity worth risking her life? Every moment I spent with her delicious scent was a moment that she could die. What if it became too much? I couldn't live with myself if anything happened...

As I stood there, I breathed in her scent, letting it wreck havoc on my senses. If I was going to walk into that warehouse and confront her again, I had to find a way to think through this fire. It was overwhelming but easier to manage now that I had hunted.

I said a small prayer to Carlisle, asking for his strength. My decision was made.

I took a deep breath on the street before entering the warehouse. I wanted to avoid directly breathing her in as much as possible.

She was huddled in a corner, shaking violently. She hadn't been able to find her shirt, her pants were torn, and one of her legs looked bruised and painful. Thank god she hadn't spilled any blood in the whole ordeal. That would have certainly unraveled the remaining shreds of my willpower.

"Bella," I said as gently as I could.

She jerked her head up, eyes wild. When she recognized me, tears welled up in her eyes. Was she crying out of fear? Was there something else? Did she look…relieved?

"I didn't think you w-w-w-would come back. I thought maybe I had dreamed you. I didn't know wh-what to do." She sounded in shock.

I took off my jacket and threw it to her, trying to keep my distance. "Put this on. Where are you in pain?"

"My leg hurts the most." She held my jacket but didn't put it on. It occurred to me that she felt self conscious. Of course, Edward! She didn't have a shirt on, and I was gawking at her like a perverted fool.

I mumbled an apology and turned around. I heard her put in on, whimpering softly.

"Are you okay?," I called from behind my shoulder.

"Yeah, my arm is just a little sore. You can turn around now. Thank you."

If it were possible, she looked even more fragile in my oversized jacket. "We need to get you to a hospital. You may be hurt…"

"No!" She all but screamed at me. Realizing her intensity, she spoke more softly, "I don't need to go to a hospital. I don't want to."

I stared at her, incredulous. Why wouldn't she want to go to a hospital? What if she was internally injured? She needed proper medical care. Humans too often didn't realize the extent of their injuries, especially when they were in shock. I knew that much from Carlisle. Maybe she was being proud.

"You're in shock. You don't know what you need. We need to go to a hospital."

She tightened her jaw and stubbornness clouded her chocolate eyes. "I'm fine."

"This isn't open for debate. Can you walk?" I glanced at her battered leg again. The last thing I wanted to do was carry her and have her warm, lovely blood so close to me.

"I don't think so. I tried to walk from the bed, but I fell down and crawled over here." She bit her lower lip, holding back tears. "I don't know what to do. If you can just call my aunt, she can help me out of here." She hugged my jacket tighter to her body.

I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath, allowing her scent to fill me. It caused me unimaginable pain, but I knew giving in to temptation would mean death for both of us. The burn was insufferable, but her death was unthinkable.

She stared at me, processing my pained expression. She must have interpreted my behavior as anger at having to help her, because she spoke in a rush. "I'm sorry. You don't have to help me. If you can just find my aunt, I can get help…"

"No, no, it isn't that." _I just want to drink your blood, Bella, that's all. I'm sure you can understand._

Instead I said, "Your aunt is drunk, Bella. I don't know how much of a help she'll be to you at the moment." The disapproval was evident on my face.

Bella was confused. "When did you see my aunt?" Worry replaced her confusion. "Is she okay?"

I tried to be as truthful as possible. "I met your aunt, and your little cousin, at the nightclub earlier tonight. She didn't know where you were, so I promised to find you. The _man_ who took you had followed you. He targeted you. Your aunt was never in danger."

Relief flooded through her, but she was still confused. "I still don't understand…how did you find me?" She clearly had a million questions, but damned if I could hear one of them.

_I read minds, Bella. It's no big deal._ "We'll have time for questions later. We need to get you out of here. Do you mind if I carry you?"

"Really, you don't have to do that, and I'm heavy, anyway. Please…" She looked embarrassed.

I rolled me eyes and walked over to her small frame, trying not to look pained as her scent slammed into me. She looked scared and her heart quickened, so I smiled down at her. "I don't want you to be afraid."

"What are you?," she asked with trepidation. Yes, of course she wanted to know that. For a fleeting moment, I wished that I was a normal man worthy of this girl's trust, and that I had a rational answer for her, one that didn't involve nightmares.

Considering that I had to carry her, and that it would have to be at inhuman speed, I needed to give her some explanation. Besides, I could always disappear. I just needed to avoid scaring her anymore that I already had and get her somewhere safe. I needed her to trust me.

"That isn't easy to answer, Bella. I know I scare you, and I am sorry for that, but I don't intend to hurt you. I know I don't deserve it, but I need you to… trust me."

She held her breath and nodded her head. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm just…overwhelmed. If anything, I'm grateful." She looked sincere, her eyes captivating.

Why wasn't she afraid of me? It didn't make sense. I wondered if lying was one of her many hidden abilities.

"Stay very still while I pick you up. I don't want to hurt you any further." _And I don't want to accidentally drain your blood._

"What's your name?," she asked abruptly.

"Edward."

I reached down to pick her up, and her heart sped, causing delicious blood to quicken in her veins and flood her cheeks. It was lovely, so sweet and inviting. She looked at my shyly from underneath her eyelashes as I hoisted her carefully into my arms. Her long brown hair cascaded around me, crashing more of her scent into me. Everything about her was fragile and soft. She felt like heaven, electrifying my cold skin. I had expected to feel the burning thirst, but I hadn't expected that immense pleasure would rival the thirst. I wanted to touch the blush in her cheeks with my fingertips. I wondered if her face felt as silky as it looked.

My cool skin probably disgusted her. Normally, humans were irrationally attracted to our kind. We were inhumanly beautiful to our prey. I had never met a woman whose pulse _didn't_ quicken in my presence, and most of the time it was because of attraction. I found myself wishing that Bella's was attracted instead of afraid. Had I lost my mind?

"Are you okay?" Her heart was pounding furiously and the blush hadn't left her cheeks. Maybe she was in pain.

"Yes." Her voice was hoarse. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital. Then we'll find your aunt."

"I can't go there. I won't. I'm f--."

"Why don't you want to go there? I don't understand why you're so reluctant." I hated that I couldn't read her mind.

"I don't have insurance, and I don't have any money. Besides, I know I'm fine. I've had worse. It's just a few bruises. It's unnecessary, and I won't go."

She'd had worse? I felt irrationally angry at whoever had hurt her before. I wanted to kill them, too. "Money isn't an issue, and in your condition, I don't think you have much of a choice. Where's the rest of your family?" She had said she was visiting her aunt.

"I don't have any."

Her answer surprised me. "What do you mean?"

"My parents are…dead. I'm visiting my aunt until I figure out what I'm doing." She looked up at me, pleading. "Please don't take me to the hospital, Edward, please." She closed her eyes in defeat.

I couldn't argue with her pleading. Bella knew pain. I didn't understand her at all, but I could empathize with that, at least. I would try to respect her wishes, as long as I could know that she was safe. Also, when she said my name, I felt like I had to listen.

"I need to know that you're okay, Bella. Where does your aunt live?"

"She lives in an apartment on 4th and Bleaker."

"I'll take you there and we'll figure this out, okay?" I tried to reassure her.

"Mm, hmm. Thank you so much." She looked exhausted. I didn't know how much longer she could hold on.

"Rest, Bella. Close your eyes. I'm going to take you to your aunt's apartment, and it's probably better if you don't watch."

She was too tired to argue with me or question my directive, which I appreciated. I had a feeling that she would argue, though, if she had the strength. I chuckled.

She looked at me curiously, eyelids drooping. I had to resist the urge to touch her face again. I wanted to trace her lips and feel her breath on my fingertips.

It struck me that she was beautiful, apart from her sweet blood. The shape of her lips, the subtle curves of her body… _God, Edward, what is the matter with you?_ I was sick, truly sick, for having such thoughts about this poor, injured girl. Ever since I had met her, I'd been completely unbalanced.

At least her scent, although still painful, was familiar enough for me to endure. Holding her ever so gently, I headed off into the night.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, I think we are getting to the good stuff pretty soon!! Please, please, please post a review! It doesn't have to be more than one word. Just write, "yay," or "lame," or "more." Whatever is fine! I need the encouragement/interaction to keep going, and I want to know what you think. People are subscribing, so I figure someone is reading... Oh, I'm thinking about making the next chapter from Bella's perspective. If you object, let me know. ilu guys!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight... :( **

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I got to the apartment quickly and followed her aunt's scent into the right unit. It occurred to me that her aunt would still be waiting at the club for me to return. Sure enough, her aunt wasn't there, but I heard other heartbeats in the apartment.

I had started walking at a normal speed. There were still some humans milling around, and I needed to be careful. When we were outside the door, Bella stirred in my arms and opened her eyes. She blinked them furiously and looked around, startled. "How are we here already? Did I pass out?"

"You _are _exhausted, Bella." I smiled down at her, ignoring the burn. Her scent was so delicious.

I could tell that she wanted to ask more questions, but I needed her to save those questions for later. Did I really plan on answering them? I didn't know anymore.

"Please, I know it's a lot to ask, but trust me. I'll explain later." Now, I was the one pleading with her, asking once again for her trust. I didn't deserve it.

She stared into my eyes, maybe in an effort to gauge my sincerity. I looked back with an innocent expression. There was no question that I was good liar. Out of necessity, I had learned how to look convincing throughout the years. Bella's pulse quickened and a soft blush stained her cheeks. Was I scaring her? I looked away, although I realized that I didn't want to. I liked looking into her eyes.

"Your eyes are golden. They were so black before…" She trailed off, embarrassed.

_Oh great_. Bella was observant. Humans didn't normally put their finger on our changing eye color. My jaw went taut. Yes, I would have to explain myself soon enough. But what about Bella? She would need to explain herself, too. She was as much a mystery to me as I was to her.

"Who's in your aunt's apartment?" I changed the subject.

"Her roommates. She lives with a few other women."

But the apartment was small, I could tell that much. "Where do you sleep? Do you have a room?"

"No, I sleep on the floor with my aunt. My aunt is kind of going through a rough patch right now. I've been babysitting her son for a few weeks while she looks for a job." She shrugged.

I was bewildered. She couldn't stay here. "Am I to leave you on a floor? Honestly, Bella."

"I don't have any other option. Besides, I'm fine, really. Please, I don't need your judgment." She sounded a little defiant.

"I am not _judging _you, Bella! I told you I would see to it that you're safe. You won't let me take you to the hospital, and now you want me to leave you on a floor! You can't even walk." Maybe I wasn't the only insane one. She was absolutely absurd.

"I'm fine."

"Bella, you're exhausted, you've been attacked tonight and nearly killed. You're not fine."

"Put me down, Edward." I thrill went through me as she said my name.

"No."

We stared at each other, both of us angry. My anger faded as I realized how exhausted she was. She was using everything she had to keep it together. I needed to get her to listen to me.

"I'm taking you somewhere where you can rest. Please don't argue with me. You can fight with me after you've slept." I tried to look compelling.

She just stared at me, holding her breath. Was the shock finally sinking in? "Bella? Please," I implored, "I…won't hurt you." If it cost me my life, I would keep my promise.

She let out a gust of breath, making my muscles tense. So sweet.

"Okay, but I need to find my aunt and let her know I'm safe. Honestly, you don't have to do this. "

"I want to." I realized that I meant it. And, it _was_ a good idea to find her aunt. If someone knew that she was with me, it may give me an extra incentive to refrain from acting on my baser instincts.

"I have a bag inside, with my things."

"Alright, let's get your things, shall we?" Relief flooded through me as I spoke the words. I felt almost…giddy. I was going to get more time with my mystery demon.

I heard some of the roommates laughing inside. I opened the door with my left hand, holding Bella tightly with my right. I had to reach across her body to open the door, sending more electricity through me as my arm lightly grazed her stomach. God, she radiated heat.

As we walked into the room, several emotions registered on the roommates' faces. Shock, fear, confusion, pleasure… There were three women, all of them a good five years older than Bella. I could smell the alcohol; they had been out at the clubs earlier, as well.

_Oh my God, look at Bella. Was she attacked? _

_Who is the man carrying her? He is stunning. Wow… _

_Bella, that little hussy! Leave it to her to find the hottest man in all of Atlanta… _

"Bella!," one of the women exclaimed. "What happened to you?"

"I was attacked. I'm okay, though. Edward found me before anything really happened." She gestured to me.

Bella didn't want to draw attention to herself by giving more details. I was grateful for that. The less detail we gave these women, the better.

"I'm going to take Bella to the hospital. She can't walk very well." I wanted them to know why I was carrying her. They were gawking at me.

One of the women spoke. "That's so kind of you. Where's your aunt, Bella?," _His voice is sexy. Mmm… _

"We're going to find her now. She's still at the nightclub. Sally, will you hand me my bag? It's over there in the corner." Bella seemed in as much of a hurry to leave as I was. I'm sure it was awkward to carry on a conversation while in a strange man's arms.

"Sure, honey."

Bella took the bag from Sally with her uninjured arm and clutched it to her chest. "Thank you. I'll see you all later."

"Okay, take care of yourself. We'll see you soon. Edward, you come back anytime." She gave me a seductive smile.

I nodded and left the apartment, moving as slowly as I could muster. I didn't like those women. They should have been worried about Bella, but instead they were more interested in their hormones. I needed to try to look more menacing next time; maybe that would make me less appealing. I would work on it.

"What are you thinking?," Bella asked. She was staring at me curiously.

I couldn't help laughing. She wanted to know what I was thinking? The irony!

"What?" She was slightly offended.

"I'm thinking that you should have gone into shock by now." I smirked.

"Oh." She paused, thinking over my words and changing the subject. "I guess I should know better than to ask whether you're tired from carrying me…"

"Yes, you should. I'm fine." _You don't need to worry about me, Bella. I'm a vampire, a terrifying nightmare. Carrying you easy. Resisting your blood, now that's a little harder…" _

She closed her eyes. Minutes passed as we walked, and I thought maybe she had fallen asleep.

"I know I should be afraid of you, but I'm not." Her eyes were still closed as she spoke quietly.

"You're right. You should be afraid." I hated that it was true.

She must have heard the sadness in my voice, because she opened her eyes and looked intently into mine. I didn't know what she was searching for, but I wanted to give it to her. I couldn't deny her anything. I wished in vain to hear her thoughts.

"Bella, I need you to stay here. I need to get us a room." We were in an alley on the side of one of the best hotels in Atlanta. I wanted her to have the best amenities possible while she healed.

Panic filled her eyes. "Edward, I thought you already had a place. I can't stay here..."

I felt like a moron for the millionth time tonight. How thoughtless could I be? It wasn't appropriate for me to stay in a hotel room alone with her. I wouldn't want to sullen her reputation.

"Bella, I'll hide you. No one will have to know that you're here with me. I can get a separate room, if you'd like. I wouldn't dream of embarrassing you, or making you feel uncomfortable…" I spoke in a rush.

"No, it isn't that. I just don't have any money for this, and I can't possibly let you pay for it. I don't mind staying with you." A blush crept over her cheeks. Fire ripped through me at the sight of her pooling blood, but I thought around it. It was getting easier to do.

Bella never ceased to surprise me. I should have known that she would object on the basis of money.

"Don't be ridiculous, Bella. I told you - money isn't an issue. Only your safety matters. I won't take no for an answer. Once I get you safely inside, I'll go find your aunt." Money really wasn't an issue; thanks to Carlisle, I had plenty of that. I hadn't needed to spend hardly any since I'd left home, so I still had enough to stay in this hotel for a year if we needed.

She started pouting. I smiled at her frustrated expression. She really was beautiful, so soft and warm.

"Stay here. I'll be right back. Please, don't move."

She rolled her eyes. "I can't exactly run right now. I don't think that will be a problem."

"Good." I smiled at her, showing my teeth. She held her breath, and I realized that I had probably frightened her. Stupid Edward!

I gently set her down. Just as before, my body instantly wanted to be close to her again. I yearned to feel her warmth. I also worried about leaving her alone. On the upside, I could smell her from inside the hotel; if she left, I would know it.

I went into the marbled lobby and strode up to the front desk. The man's eyes popped open. I ignored his thoughts. I didn't have time.

"I need a room for tonight."

"Um, we are all booked up, sir." He started flipping through a register.

"Surely, you have something. I'll take anything."

"Well, we have one of our penthouses, but it requires a three-night stay. It has a king bed, as well as its own kitchen and living room…"

"I'll take it." I wanted something larger, anyway. That would be perfect.

"Okay, sir. Would you like it for three nights, then?" I nodded.

"Please fill this out." He handed me a registration form. "How would you like to pay?"

"Cash." I scribbled down my information as quickly as I could, writing down a fake last name and a nonexistent address. I took out enough cash to pay for the room and tip him generously.

"You're from out of state, sir?" The man looked at my form, trying to make small talk.

"Yes. I'm visiting a cousin." I thought it best to insinuate I was here to see someone, in case anyone saw me with Bella.

"Very good. Enjoy Atlanta. Here is your key." He showed me a map and pointed to my room. "You're right here, on the top floor. Would you like a bellhop to carry your bags?" He looked behind me for luggage.

"No, that won't be necessary." I smiled confidently and took the key, putting it in my pants pocket. "Thank you for your help."

"Sir," he called, "your change."

I shook my head, giving him a polite smile. I walked out of the lobby as quickly as I could.

Bella was exactly as I'd left her, propped up against the alley wall. As soon as she saw me, she looked relieved. Maybe I hadn't scared her too badly. She definitely didn't _look _scared. I tried not to breathe as I approached her.

"I have a room for us. I am going to take you up through the fire escape. Just don't look around and hold on tight, okay?"

"Okay." She seemed to expect our unorthodox travel methods now.

I took her into my arms, feeling instantly whole. Her heat enveloped me, and venom filled my mouth in anticipation. I swallowed it back and began our climb up to the room.

Once we got to our room, I pried the window open. It hadn't been open in ages, and I all but broke it.

I ducked in, ever careful of the fragile creature in my arms. The room was dark, but I could see perfectly. I walked over to the bed and sat Bella down. I started flipping on lights, pleased with the suite. It was spacious and accommodating. It had wood flooring and beige crown molding. There was a fireplace, the kitchen was nice, and there was a large couch in the living room. I could pretend to sleep there while giving Bella plenty of privacy.

Bella sat on the bed, wide eyed. "This is beautiful," she breathed, "Are you sure this is okay…?"

"Yes. It's nothing. Please, don't worry." The last thing she needed was more stress. "I'm going to find your aunt and pick up some things." Humans needed food, I'd almost forgotten. I would need to get some of that, too. "I'll have room service bring you up something to eat." I should also try to contact Carlisle about all of this. I needed his guidance.

"Will you be gone long?" She looked worried.

"I should be back within an hour. You really should rest."

"I don't want to be alone. You'll come back?" Her eyes were cast down while she absentmindedly played with the strap of her bag.

"Of course I will." _I can't stay away from you, Bella. I'm addicted to your scent, and your ivory skin, and your enchanting eyes..._

"Okay.," she winced as she shifted her weight back onto the bed. I hated seeing her in pain.

I wanted to walk up and stroke her hair. Just one touch, just to reassure her. Surely, I could handle that… No! I clenched my fists and went back out the fire escape, leaving her behind me. I was doing so well not killing her. What was I thinking? Touching her would not help my resolve. It was out of the question. I argued with myself all the way back to the nightclub, staying on rooftops.

I had only left her aunt there for a few hours, although it felt like much longer. I realized that time was now permanently divided for me: pre-Bella and post-Bella. Everything before Bella felt like a lifetime ago. I wondered for how much longer I would have her and what my existence would be like when I had to leave her. Leaving her was inevitable.

The nightclub had closed and the aunt was in front of her apartment when I found her. The little boy was in her arms. Thankfully, she had sobered up quite a bit.

"Excuse me," I said, "I'm sorry it took so long for me to come back."

"Oh!" She turned around, startled. "It's you! Did you find Bella?"

"Yes, she had been…assaulted." I shuttered. "I found her in time, and she's okay. She wasn't far from the club. I've put her up in a hotel. She needs rest."

_Thank God, Bella. You're parents would just love it if you ended up dead. I would never hear the end of it…_

I couldn't help but address her thoughts. "Bella has parents?"

"Yes, in Florida. That's where Bella's from, but she's out here visiting me. She just turned eighteen and was thinking about moving out here. She's been so helpful with little Caleb." _ Her parents are worthless. No wonder she left. I wonder if her father is still drinking…" _

I was shocked. Bella lied to me. Her parents weren't dead at all.

"You know, you don't have to put her up in a hotel. She can stay with me." _You should put me up in a hotel, with you… _

"It's no trouble; it's already done. Bella is in shock and needs rest. I'll have her call on you tomorrow." I started walking away. I was anxious to get back to Bella.

"Wait…I don't even know you. You can't just, just take Bella." She was annoyed that I wasn't interested in her, as well as annoyed that I was taking away her babysitter. "She's my niece. I should go with you."

"She's fine and sleeping. The floor of your apartment isn't adequate. You'll hear from her tomorrow." I wasn't going to let this woman come with me, not tonight. Her thoughts aggravated me. Bella was eighteen and could make her own decisions, anyway. It wasn't a crime for her to be with me. I didn't need her aunt's permission.

Finally, I had pissed her off. At least she wasn't picturing me naked anymore. I kept walking with the aunt fuming behind me.

As dangerous as it was, I wanted, no _needed_, to be alone with Bella. Besides, my little demon had some explaining to do.


	6. Chapter 6

**Bella wanted a chance to talk...Edward has left quite the impression on her, to say the least. **

**Note: S. Meyer owns Twilight; I just worship it.**

**Also, I want to write more, but I really, really want to get to 20 reviews total before the next chapter...just 7 to go! People are subscribing...please just click the little review button and write anything! Exciting stuff is in store.  
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Bella POV

I opened my eyes to a darkened room, still half asleep. I was lying in a large, comfortable bed with a soft feather comforter tucked around me. I stretched my limbs out of habit, feeling relaxed. As a stretched, a searing pain shot up my leg. I gasped, disoriented. The pain was like a splash of cold water, and everything came flooding back to me. Little Caleb, the horrible man, the knife, my impending death…

I remembered struggling in the makeshift bed while the horrible man pinned me down. The warehouse was buried deep within a deserted part of town, isolation within isolation. As the man had forced me farther outside of the city, I'd realized that no one was going to help me. I was disoriented from his beating, and the few people who saw us averted their eyes at my appearance. I guess they thought better than to get involved.

It was fitting, really. I'd fled to Atlanta to escape abuse, looking for something better, and had only been in town for a few weeks. It turned out that my aunt was all but living in a whorehouse, and now I was going to die. I had no one, and I would die alone. Maybe it was better that way.

I flinched as I remembered my shirt being ripped from my body. The disgusting man mounted me, stuffing his fingers in my mouth. I heard screaming, and I realized that it was coming from me. He seemed to like it when I screamed, so I forced myself to stop. I was gagging against his hand, anyway. He traced the knife down my torso. I had never been so exposed in front of a man, but I was beyond a point of embarrassment. He was looking hungrily at my barely concealed breasts. Now, please, now. Please let me die now, before he could touch me. I stayed at still as I could, willing death to find me. My mind was losing its grip on reality.

From the far reaches of my mind, I heard a crash. It distracted the man, causing him to turn around. With a gleam in his eye, he got off me and headed towards the noise, gripping the dirty knife. Was someone here? I didn't dare move, not yet, feeling content to have the man off of me.

As if from heaven, I heard a musical laugh. Truly, it was beautiful. My attacker snarled, which was quickly followed by a crunching sound and torturous scream. Something was attacking the man and enjoying it. I still hadn't moved an inch, too frightened to do anything. I heard another sickening, crunching sound; the musical laughter sounded pleased by the fresh set of screams.

Although fear gripped me, I had to see. I moved my head, just a fraction of an inch, and saw the most breathtaking boy I had ever seen. He couldn't have been much older than me, maybe twenty at the most. He had bronze, unruly hair and piercing eyes. At that moment, he was massacring my assailant's arm as if it were butter. He was an angel of destruction.

In an instant, everything changed. With blinding speed, the wretched man was lying on the floor, lifeless, and the boy was hovering over me. I didn't think that I had any fear left, but the look in the boy's black eyes sent a whole new wave of terror into my heart. The angel wasn't here to save me; he was here to kill me. I didn't understand, didn't have time to think.

His weight was pressing down on me. He took his hand and, in a motion more gently than I thought he was capable of, swept my hair away from my neck. His fingers brushed my skin, sending a powerful current straight into my bones. His fingers were ice, but I felt burned by his touch. He stared at my neck with crazed lust, and then other emotions flitted across his face. He seemed to struggle with himself, fighting a battle that I couldn't even begin to understand. Suddenly, his coal eyes, burning with desire, flickered from my neck to my eyes. He bore into me, still as a statue.

After a moment of overwhelming tension, he yelled at me. "Who are YOU?"

Hearing his musical voice so thick with hatred nearly unraveled me. I didn't want to die. I didn't want him to hate me. I choked back sobs as I tried to answer him.

"My, my name is Bella. I'm ….visiting my aunt…that man, he tricked me into following him, said he would hurt…." I couldn't speak anymore. He was still livid, and I didn't think I was making any sense. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…," I cried over and over again. All I could do was apologize, hoping that this angel would spare my pitiful life.

He continued to hover over me as I cried. I cried with all I had left, finally quieting after what felt like hours, although it was probably only minutes. It occurred to me that hadn't killed me yet. Maybe he changed his mind, seeing how pathetic I was. I had to ask his intentions. "Are you going to kill me?"

His infuriated expression faltered and, for a moment, he looked as wrecked as I felt.

"Don't move.," he commanded, his beautiful brow furrowed.

I was going to obey. I tried to hold my breath, not moving an inch. If he wanted me to stand on my head and say the alphabet backwards, I would have found a way to do it.

He moved with impossible speed off of my body and across the room. How did he do that? Was I right---was he an angel? No human could move with such speed and grace.

He spoke with emotion. "I am going to take away, that man, and come back for you. Will you stay and wait for me?" He had a pained expression. I wondered how someone could look so beautiful when frowning.

I nodded my head, managing a weak acquiesce.

He picked up the horrible man's dead body; it looked sickly and limp, like roadkill. Without another word, he disappeared with it into the night.

The rest of my time with him was harder to remember. I remembered being irrationally relieved to see him again and learning that his name was Edward. I remembered his jacket and the captivating scent that lingered on the fabric. The smell soothed me, allowing me to drift in and out of consciousness. He smelled like sun mixed with the most irresistible of flowers.

I also remembered him holding me in his arms and gliding to my aunt's, almost as if teleporting us. Her roommates gaped at my handsome savior, irritating me. He held me close the whole time, and I found it harder and harder to focus. He kept insisting on taking me to a hospital, and I argued with him as adamantly as I could. Finally, I ended up in this hotel, with him promising to return.

I was almost positive that he hated me, but if that were true, then why did he bother to help me? There was no question that he was dangerous; I saw him crush a man to a pulp and move faster than I could blink. I didn't understand any of it; I only knew that it was implausible yet somehow real.

Despite the obvious danger, I was drawn to him. I would be dead if not for him. I felt like my life was already in his hands.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I sat up, scanning the room for him. How long had I slept? Was he here now? I couldn't see him and started panicking. Maybe he had left, putting me up in this hotel room before taking off. I had been such a burden.

I felt nauseous at the thought of never seeing him again. I wanted to say thank you one more time, or anything. I realized that I was still in his jacket, his heady scent traceable. I breathed it in. Maybe he would come back for the jacket. The possibility made me hopeful.

I needed to get up and find the bathroom. I tried to slide to the edge of the bed, but the movement triggered fresh pain. My arm ached and my face felt tender. Ooooh, my leg throbbed, too, and I was hardly moving it. Fighting through the pain, I made it to the edge of the bed. On the bright side, I didn't think anything was broken. With all of my might, I heaved myself off of the bed and grabbed onto the dresser to steady myself. I felt lightheaded but started hopping to what I fervently hoped was the bathroom.

After several agonizing hops, I'd made it to the bathroom. I let my weight fall against the sink and scrutinized my reflection. I moaned. I was a train wreck. My hair was knotted and an ugly, purple bruise had blossomed across my cheekbone. I turned on the water and splashed my face, deciding it was useless. I needed a shower.

As I took off my tattered clothes, I felt humiliated when I remembered that Edward had seen me in my bra. _Get a grip, Bella. I'm sure he's seen plenty of bras. _The thought made me feel even worse. I felt self conscious, thinking about the hordes of beautiful women that must throw themselves at him on a daily basis. I was most certainly plain in comparison to those women. How mortifying.

I limped to the shower, groaning at my swollen leg. My calf was splashed with black and blue splotches and way worse off than my face. I turned on the hot water, letting it scold me. As the steam filled the room, I started shaking against my will. It was as if the steam was thawing out all of my pent up emotion. I grabbed a washcloth and scrubbed my skin as hard as I could without aggravating my bruises. I washed my hair, twice, and conditioned it. Finally feeling clean, I turned off the shower.

The hotel room was the nicest I had ever seen. I put on a plush terrycloth robe and brushed my teeth with a complimentary toothbrush. I untangled all of the knots from my hair, trying to let the task distract me from wondering whether Edward would return. _Focus, Bella. Don't panic._ To keep myself distracted, I brushed my hair until it fell straight and was partially dry.

I was ravenous. I wondered if the hotel room had any food. I wouldn't eat anything that would be charged to the room.

As I hopped out of the bathroom, I turned on a few lights and headed to the nearest chair, an overstuffed recliner. As I collapsed into it, fresh panic hit me. If Edward didn't come back, what would I do? How long was I allowed to stay here? The idea of trying to hop back to my aunt's was overwhelming.

As I considered my dire options, I heard the door to the hotel room open. With anticipation, I turned to the sound. _Please be Edward, please be Edward._

My heart swelled at the sight of his lean, muscular frame and stunning features. He saw me in the chair and looked relieved. Maybe he didn't hate me after all. I could hope, at least.

"Bella," he said in his incredibly alluring voice, giving me a crooked smile, "I see you found the bathroom. Good for you. How are you feeling this evening?" He looked me over, assessing for himself. He seemed pleased. He had two bags in his hands, and they smelled delicious. He was still smiling.

Another memory came back to me: the many times during my rescue he had dazzled me with his perfect smile.

"I'm…okay. I've progressed to hopping, which is good. I don't feel great, but it's manageable. The shower was nice," I said lamely.

"Mmm. I brought you food. Are you hungry?"

"Yes, starving in fact!" I couldn't hide my enthusiasm.

He laughed his charming laugh and walked over to me. I noticed that he approached me slowly and looked like he was holding his breath. Weird.

He handed me the food, and I all but tore the bags open. He had gotten me a variety of choices, from Chinese noodles to a hamburger. I settled on the hamburger.

"You didn't have to get me all of this food.," I said, stuffing my face. _Wow, real attractive, Bella._

"I didn't know your preferences." He watched me eat with an amused expression. He seemed more comfortable around me today, which was promising.

"What time is it?," I asked in between mouthfuls.

"You've been sleeping for seventeen hours. It's 7:00 in the evening. I was hoping you'd wake up soon. I was getting worried." He ran his fingers through his bronze hair, thinking about something. The tendons in his forearm flexed ever so slightly, and my stomach muscles tightened in response. I wanted to touch him. He didn't look real.

"I was worried you'd left." I immediately regretted my admission and looked at him, trying to gauge his reaction.

He laughed to himself, turning his golden eyes on me. "Don't worry, Bella. I don't think that's such a good idea yet." He looked at my leg meaningfully.

Yet? I sighed. Once I'd healed enough, of course he wouldn't stay. Why would he? Although I knew it was inevitable, I felt saddened by the thought of being away from him.

"What's the matter?" He looked frustrated by my expression. He stared at me, as if trying to solve a math problem.

"Nothing." I wasn't about to admit my ridiculous disappointment at the idea of him leaving. That would just chase him away sooner.

"Really, Bella. That's so frustrating!," he said reproachfully.

"My leg just hurts." I lied.

"May I?"

"Sure." My heart raced at his slow approach. He looked at me questioningly. Could he hear that?

"I won't hurt you.," he murmured.

"I know."

He shook his head at my comment, a smirk on his face. I felt his cool hands touch my leg ever so gently, but it still managed to send electricity through me. Another weird thing about Edward: his cold hands. I would add it to my list of things to ask him about when I'd worked up the courage.

After a few moments of him touching my leg and of my heart racing, he spoke. "Your leg is swollen but it's going to be absolutely fine. You need to keep it elevated, and we should ice it.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

"I mean, thank you for everything." I felt a surge of emotion. I didn't want to cry, but I owed this incredible, bizarre angel so much. I owed him my life. I tear fell down my cheek, and I hurriedly brushed it away.

"Don't cry, Bella." He looked at me, conflicted. He lifted his pale hand with deliberate slowness and touched the ends of my damp hair. He twirled it in his fingers, exploring its texture. It looked like he was struggling with what he wanted to say. I didn't care what he said. I was just elated that he was touching me. I blushed.

He jerked his hand away and quickly scooted back, putting distance between us. "I'm sorry.," he muttered. At first I thought he was annoyed, but he looked… embarrassed, maybe? Impossible. How could _he_ feel embarrassed about _anything_?

"Edward. Please don't apologize. I…I don't mind at all." I blushed even harder. Now, I was the one who felt embarrassed.

"You should mind, Bella." The pained expression was back in his face. Right, he was dangerous. Before I could collect my thoughts and demand an explanation, he spoke again, much more composed than a moment ago.

"Finish eating. We need to talk." He glanced at me significantly. "I'm sure you have some questions for me, and I most certainly have some for you."

I nodded, wondering what he wanted to know. Nonetheless, I was glad that he planned to answer some of my questions. The more I could learn about my angel, the better.

**Again, Please review, even if just a word. I'm such a begger. I have said it in the past, but I won't post another chapter until I get some reviews - let's try for 20? :) xoxo.  
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	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to all of you who reviewed! I love you guys!! I tried to get this chapter out as fast as I could, so sorry for any overlooked typos. I am feeling a little uncertain of what I want to do next (I have a few ideas), but would like your feedback. There's so much that could happen. Share you thoughts! As always, please review!! **

**I don't own twilight; S Meyer does. **

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I watched Bella eat, thoroughly enjoying myself. I didn't understand how she found the food appetizing, but nonetheless, she ate it with enthusiasm. I smiled as she brought the sandwich up to her beautiful mouth, tearing at it hungrily. She looked at me with a guilty expression, worried about being impolite. If she only knew how much pleasure I got from watching her happy, she wouldn't feel shy. Every moment she lived was a moment that I was victorious, better than myself.

A few moments earlier, I hadn't been able to resist reaching up to touch her hair, playing with its soft texture. I needed to have better control. My irrational thirst and attraction for her didn't change the fact that I was a vampire, and she a human. When I'd done it, she'd told me that she didn't mind, her heart racing. Wait until she knew what a monster I was; she would mind then. I wanted to do it again, so I was holding my hands together while she ate.

I reminded myself to enjoy the moment between us. Soon enough, I was going to terrify her, and we wouldn't have a moment like this again. Could I trust her with the truth? Would she trust me with her truth? I was about to find out.

I thought back to the past several hours I'd shared with her while she slept…

That first night after speaking with her aunt had been misery all over again. Because I'd been away from her, the potency of her blood had almost brought me to my knees with desire. I'd sat down in the same recliner she sat in now, gripping the armrests while she slept. I breathed deeply, trying to understand the fire ripping through me. Her fragrance was mouthwatering with a hint of freesia. There was something more that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

I'd stared at her out of my fiery hell for several hours. She'd looked peaceful enough. Her small frame was curled up in the bed, and she was still wearing my jacket. Even still, it would have been helpful to know her thoughts. Was she dreaming? How was she handling her recent stress? I'd wanted to know almost as badly as I'd wanted to drink her blood.

I spent most of her slumber in that chair, my thoughts all centered on her. Eventually, it was easier to sit there. Her sweet blood faded into the background, never fully releasing me, but at least giving me some space to breathe and think. Even now, it was easier…

"I'm done." Bella's words broke me from my reverie. She was taking a drink of water, washing down the last of her food. "That was delicious."

"Would you like dessert?" On an earlier shopping trip, I had gotten an assortment of pastries and fruit, all of which were in the kitchen.

"Maybe later." She looked determined to talk.

Before speaking, I studied her features, paying special attention to her full lips and liquid brown eyes. Through her aunt and others, I had seen that humans generally viewed Bella as pretty but overall ordinary. I guess it was the monsters of this world that couldn't resist her. As far as I was concerned, I had never seen a creature that rivaled her splendor. It unnerved me, making it even harder to have our talk.

She started to blush a beautiful scarlet. Of course she would blush; I was staring at her like an idiot! I sighed. "Bella, I will do my best to explain myself, but I have some questions for you first." I would delay my part of the conversation for as long as I could.

"Okay." She looked at me apprehensively.

"You're parents aren't dead."

"That's not a question," she said evasively.

"Why did you lie to me?" I stared at her, wanting desperately to hear her mind.

She tore her gaze from mine and looked down at her hands. Silence. Fine; I would try a different angle.

"Bella, please. If you expect me to trust you with my secrets, then you should give me the same courtesy."

She let out a gust of breath, still looking at her hands when she spoke. "I told you that they were dead, because they _are_ dead to me. I don't plan on ever seeing them again, and it was easier to tell you they were dead than to explain my reasons."

"What are your reasons?"

She looked up, meeting my gaze. "Let's just say that my father isn't exactly the nicest man in the world, especially when he drinks. My mom isn't much better. With the way things have been with the depression, we were tight on money… Once I graduated from high school, there was nothing holding me there. So I left."

"What aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing.," she said simply. I didn't believe her.

"In the warehouse, you told me that you'd had worse than this." I gestured to her bruises and she flinched. "Is that due to your father?"

She spoke tentatively. "Before I decided to leave home, I had a particularly bad fight with him. I ended up in the hospital. It was pretty bad. I broke my collar bone, among other things." She pinched the bridge of her nose as if trying to block out the unpleasant memories. "I've been to the hospital quite a few times, Edward. I know when I need to go, and when I don't. This is nothing, comparatively."

I seethed. How could a father hurt his own child, especially one as fragile as Bella? It was inexcusable to me.

Bella sensed my rage and spoke softly. "Edward, I'm fine now. I'm never going back."

Was Bella comforting me? I should be comforting her.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. And now, for you to go through all of this…"

"I'm not sorry. We've met, so it isn't all bad." She smiled. Her words made my dead heart soar, but I pushed my happiness aside. I was probably reading too much into her comment, hearing what I wanted to hear. Did I actually want Bella to reciprocate my feelings? Yes, yes I did. _Damnit, Edward. You've gone totally insane._ _Keep her alive._

"How do you plan to support yourself?," I asked.

Her chin jutted out. "I can get a job. Lots of women work nowadays. Eventually, I'll go to college."

"So, in the mean time, you plan to live with your aunt?"

"Yes, something like that."

"Your aunt's place is not a good place for you, Bella."

"It isn't so bad."

We sat in silence for a moment. I had a million more questions to ask her, and I tried to organize them in my head. I wanted to know everything about her. Bella was a mystery, and I may never unravel her intrigue after she found out what I was. I had to accept that she may never want to talk to me again once she knew I was a vampire.

Bella spoke first. "Is it my turn for a few questions?" I frowned. I still had so many questions for her, but I was anxious to see what she wanted to know.

"Edward. I thought we were going to trust each other." She gave me a reassuring smile, dazzling me. God, she was magnificent. _Enjoy it while you still can… _

"It isn't pleasant, Bella." I covered my face with my hands. _  
_

She took me by surprise with the force of her words. "I'm not stupid, Edward. I watched you kill a man without even trying, and you move faster than I can blink. I'm not expecting a fairytale." Her voice softened. "Even if I should be afraid, I meant what I said before. I'm not. I owe you my life."

"You owe me nothing.," I corrected.

"Please. Just tell me the truth." She turned the force of her warm eyes on mine.

I didn't know where to start. _I worship you, but I also want to kill you. I'm a despicable, soulless vampire. _

Bella was still smiling an encouraging smile when she spoke. "Okay. Why are you so cold?" She'd noticed the chill of my skin. I wonder if I'd repulsed her.

_Because I don't have a soul and belong in the depths of hell, far away from the sun._ "Because I don't have any blood." I tried to appear calm as I waited for her reaction.

"What do you mean? You don't have blood…in your veins?"

"Maybe I should rephrase. Technically, I don't have _my own_ blood in my veins."

A moment passed. "Oh.," she said. Something seemed to click in her head.

"Bella…" I didn't know how to finish, but I was dying to know what she'd pieced together.

"Is that why you looked…thirsty at the warehouse? I didn't understand why you looked at me like, like you wanted to kill me…" She got it right away. I would have less time with her than I thought.

"Yes.," I said miserably.

"Why didn't you kill me, then? How are you here now?..."

"It is still hard for me to resist you, even now, but I meant what I said. I don't want to hurt you. I'm fairly certain I'll be able to leave if it gets to be…too much." I paused. "I always intended to help you, make you safe. And then, your scent hit me…" I shivered.

"What's the matter with how I smell?"

I laughed. "Bella, there is nothing the matter with your smell. In fact, it is more than fine. You smell… enchanting. The problem is that I'm a monster."

"You're not a monster."

"I just told you that I want to drink your blood!" I choked out the words. "That is the definition of monstrous. I admitted to wanting to kill you!"

"But you didn't. You saved me instead, and you continue to help me." She refused to break our gaze.

"That doesn't mean I _won't_ kill you." It was difficult to say, but she needed to believe it. It was a possibility. I couldn't pretend otherwise.

"Why did you try to save me? What I mean is, why were you looking for me in the first place?"

"Your aunt told me you were supposed to be watching your nephew, who I found alone in the club."

"Why were you at the nightclub?"

"That's…complicated."

"Okay." She accepted that for now and changed direction. "Is it difficult for you to be around others, like how it is difficult for you to be around me? You've met my aunt, and at her apartment, her roommates were there…"

"No, it's mainly you. Don't get me wrong, I always _want_ human blood, but I can typically resist with a little effort. My family survives off of the blood of animals, and we usually do just fine denying our cravings. Something about you is different for me." I looked at her apologetically.

"There are more like you? You have a family? Where are they?" She was surprised, but she didn't look afraid, at least not yet.

"My family is in Tacoma, Washington at the present moment. Most others of our kind don't embrace our vegetarian lifestyle, nor do they live in families or settle down. We are unusual in that respect." I smiled despite myself. _We were_ _freaks among freaks._

"Why are you away from your family?"

"Again, that's complicated."

"Try me." She wasn't passing out yet, so I might as well.

"I can hear the thoughts of everyone around me, including the thoughts of men like the one who attacked you. It finally became too much. I wanted to humor another lifestyle, to drown out the voices in my head. I wanted to stop denying my thirst, and I figured if I hunted evil, maybe I could justify bloodshed. The man who hurt you was my first attempt at my new life, but after encountering you, I couldn't do it. He smelled vile in comparison to you." I hung my head in shame, trying to spare her unnecessary details.

"Can you read my mind?" She was blushing furiously.

"No. You are the only creature that I cannot hear. It's frustrating, to put it mildly."

"I wonder why that is?," she mused.

"I've wondered that, as well. I have no idea."

"Tell me about your family." She wanted to know more.

I told her about Carlisle, Esme and Rosalie. I spoke of the love I have for my parents and the many years we'd spent together, with Rosalie being the newest addition to our little group.

"How does one become like you?"

"I want to hear more about you." I didn't want Bella knowing all of the gory details, not yet. I had already revealed so much, and she had revealed almost nothing at all.

She went quiet. Maybe she wanted me to go, now that she knew what I was.

"I can leave, Bella. I have no right to put you in danger, to be around you. I know this is terrifying, and I understand if you don't want to talk to me. I'm sorry…"

"No!" She looked into my eyes, pleading. "Don't go. Don't apologize. I don't want that. It's just a lot to process." With a smile, she added, "I'm not very interesting. I don't know what you could possibly want to know about me."

"Plenty." I gave her a huge smile. She caught her breath and her heart raced. Why did I have to show her my teeth! I'd scared her again!

We talked for hours about everything. I asked her about her life, books she liked, childhood memories. Although it was agony not hearing her mind, I enjoyed anticipating her answers and getting to know her. She was brave, selfless and completely unaware of her allure. I constantly fought the urge to touch her.

She learned more about me, too. I told her about my life before becoming a vampire and what it had been like for me since my rebirth into immortality.

"How old are you?," she asked?

"That depends on when you start counting."

"Alright. How old were you when you… changed?"

"Seventeen."

She made a face, looking upset.

"What?"

"You're younger than me."

I laughed at her disappointment. "Not by much, Bella. Besides, I've been seventeen for over a decade. I'm well into my thirties." That made her feel better. I thought it would have freaked her out, but she never ceased to surprise me.

After hours of conversation, neither of us were anywhere near finished with our questions, but I could tell that she was getting tired. She started yawning more and more.

"Bella, you should sleep. We have time to talk tomorrow."

She looked happy about that. "Do you promise?"

"Yes. I'm not going anywhere." _For now._ "Do you want some help?"

"No, I got it." She looked determined as she balanced on her good leg, gripping the wall. She started hopping to the bathroom. It looked uncomfortable and maybe even painful. I was trying not to focus on the tantalizing skin of her neck, trying not to follow the skin down her chest until the robe obscured it from my vision. _Get it together._

"Honestly, Bella. Let me help you. I've carried you before." Maybe she was scared. Sure, she was accepting my vampiric nature in stride, but that didn't mean that she would want me to touch her.

She stumbled before she could answer, and I was over to her in less than a second. I reached for her waist, balancing her. I felt her pulse quicken and rosy blood fill her cheeks. Maybe Bella was attracted to me, too? Every time I got near her, she reacted the same way. I remembered wishing in vain that Bella would be attracted to me in the same way that other women were. Was it possible that this goddess could favor me?

I decided to push my luck. I'd spent enough time with her to feel confident in the safety of my actions. I leaned in gently and spoke seductively. "Although, you do look adorable trying to do this by yourself." I breathed on her neck, causing her to shiver. Was it from disgust or delight? I let her blood burn me, hoping it was the latter that caused her trembling.

"Hmph.," she said. Her heart pounded faster.

I kept my lips by her ear. _Gentle, Edward, be gentle._ "Am I scaring you now, Bella?" I was being such a cod. It wasn't fair to tease her about such a serious matter, but I couldn't help myself. Besides, she needed to be scared, if she wasn't already.

"Are you going to help me to the bathroom or not?" She slowly turned her head, looking up into my eyes. Although she looked embarrassed, I saw desire that mirrored my own. The power of her breath caused venom to surge through me, but I didn't dare break out stare.

"I suppose." I lifted her gently into my arms, carrying her the short distance to the bathroom and placing her at the door. "Yell for me when you're ready." I smiled, enjoying her awkward hop into the bathroom.

She emerged several minutes later, balancing on her good leg and looking beautiful. "Ready.," she called.

I picked her up and placed her on the bed, and I felt the same desire I'd felt before. I elevated her leg and put some ice on it. As I worked, she started blushing again. Against my better judgment, I started imagining ways that I could make her blush even deeper. What if I allowed myself to touch her face? Would she object? Maybe, I could run my fingers through her hair… _Stop it! _I was pushing my luck and had already done too much. I needed to let her sleep, and I needed time to think.

"Would you like anything before bed?"

"No, thank you. Where are you going to sleep?" She blushed again. My muscles tightened in response.

"I don't sleep."

"What?" She was shocked.

"Of all the things I've told you tonight, this is what shocks you? The immortal don't sleep, Bella. What's the point?"

"What do you do, then?"

"I always find something to do." _Like worry about you, watch you, fantasize about you…_

"Should I stay awake? We can talk more."

"No, don't be ridiculous. I'll probably go into the other room and read. I have some books that I've been meaning to get to."

"What are you reading?"

"Bella, sleep. We can discuss literature tomorrow."

"I suppose I am tired." She yawned, making me chuckle.

"I'll be in the next room if you need me." I thought it best to give her some privacy.

"Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome."

"Despite what you may think, you're not a monster. I know better." She looked like she believed it. I wished that I could believe, too.

"Good night, Bella."

I knew the exact moment that Bella drifted off to sleep. I heard her heart rate change and her breathing steady.

I laughed softly despite myself, careful not to wake her. For being such a small human, she had consumed my life in every way. She penetrated me to my core. I had been wrong in guessing that she was a demon. Could demons really be so fragile? It seemed unlikely.

I worried about leaving her. What if she held an enticement for other vampires and not just me? What if another vampire came upon her after I'd left? Atlanta wasn't nearly as sunny as Florida, so the chance of vampires being here was more likely. She would surely die. The thought of her dead was the only thing more painful than the temptation of her blood. I couldn't let that happen.

What would I do? I couldn't stay with her. But could I leave, allowing her to return, alone, to her aunt's? What was to become of Bella? What would become of me without her?

I decided that it was time to do something that had been nagging me for awhile. I needed to call Carlisle. The hospital had a telephone, and I could reach him there. I had spared Bella's life thus far, but there were no guarantees. I needed help.

I quietly slipped out of the hotel room and headed to the lobby. I would find a telephone and call my father. I needed answers, and I hoped to God he had some.

**Thanks again for reading! ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I am really excited about where this is heading and can't wait to write more...I hope you are, too. A special shout out to et114141 for getting me out of my writer's block with a fantastic suggestion. Please, review, review, review!! I will be motivated to get the next chapter sooner if I feel loved. :) **

**I don't own Twilight; that honor belongs to S. Meyer. **

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I found a telephone in the lobby and dialed the number I knew by heart, asking for Carlisle. Within a few minutes, his familiar voice came on the line.

"Hello, this is Dr. Cullen."

"It's Edward."

"Edward, son, where are you? He started speaking at a speed that only another vampire could understand, his voice filled with relief. We've missed you terribly!"

"I'm in Atlanta. I have a…situation. I don't know what to do."

"What is it?"

"I've found…a girl." He could tell I was struggling for words, which wasn't typical for me.

"Edward, just start from the beginning."

Speaking quickly, I recounted my visit to the nightclub, my hunt for the murderer, the power of Bella's blood over me, and the fact that she was currently staying in a hotel room, with me, alone.

Carlisle was speechless. I couldn't take the silence. "Well?!" I roared. "What do I do?" I ducked my head as someone in the lobby looked at me curiously.

"Edward, you cannot hurt the girl. She is an innocent. And clearly, you may never forgive yourself if you do hurt her. Are you sure that you can resist the temptation? You're doing so well, but I think I should come meet you."

"The longer I'm around her, the easier it gets." I hesitated, "There's more, Carlisle."

"What, son?"

"I feel…attracted to more than her blood." I was ashamed.

"Interesting."

"Interesting? Don't you mean disgusting?" I was incredulous.

"This girl has an appeal to you that is anything but normal. I wouldn't berate yourself. I'm proud of your self control. The additional attraction is merely something to consider." He sounded thoughtful.

"Have you ever encountered anything like this, Carlisle?"

"I've heard about it but never seen it firsthand. In the stories I've heard, the human is referred to as a singer. I never thought it was anything more than a legend."

"Singer?"

"Yes. It is a phrase used to describe a human whose blood 'sings' to one of our kind. As you can probably guess, singers don't normally survive for very long."

"Yes…," I trailed off. I knew all too well how close I had come to killing Bella. "Is it possible that she holds an appeal for other vampires?"

"I can't be sure, but from the stories I've heard, a singer is usually an individualized…obsession."

"Carlisle, I don't know how to leave her, if that makes any sense."

"I think I should come to Atlanta. You shouldn't go through this alone. Have you been hunting?"

I knew he was really asking if I was still 'vegetarian.' "Yes, elk in a nearby preserve. I'm going to hunt again after we speak."

Carlisle was pleased. "That's wonderful, son. Have you reconsidered what we've discussed, then?"

"I don't know." Although Bella had complicated things temporarily, I felt no differently than when I had left. Besides, if I hadn't been embracing my new lifestyle, then Bella would've been dead. What about other innocent people? Didn't they deserve to live? What if I could save others?

I kept the extent of my thoughts from Carlisle but still spoke honestly. "Carlisle, I feel like hunting evil brought me to Bella." _And she is heaven._

"Son, I understand that, but you cannot purge the evil from this earth. That's too much responsibility for anyone to bear, immortal or not. You're taking on a burden that you can't shoulder. You don't know what it will do to your humanity, either. It's a gamble you shouldn't take."

Defiance coursed through me. Carlisle meant well, but he couldn't understand. He hadn't seen Bella's terror and lived her pending demise through the eyes of the heathen. I had.

Carlisle continued. "How have you been handling thoughts? Has it remained difficult?"

At least I had something positive to report. "Thanks to Bella, that's improved. The fact that I cannot hear her, although infuriating in its own right, gives me a reprieve from the persistent babble. I spend so much time thinking about Bella that I'm learning how to tune out others' thoughts. I don't know if that's good or bad." It was bad, because it meant that I was obsessing over Bella when I probably should have been leaving her alone.

"I'm coming to Atlanta, Edward."

"No, not yet. I need a few days to figure this out. Just wait for me to call again. I need to think."

I could tell he wanted to argue with me, but he was in no position to push me. This was my battle to fight.

"Fine, Edward, but please check in with me regularly. I'm going to trust your judgment, but that doesn't mean I won't be worried sick."

"I will."

"Goodbye, son. I trust you to do what is right." _Whatever that means._ I had no idea what it meant to be right anymore.

"Goodbye, Carlisle. I'll call soon. Send my love to Esme and Rosalie."

To my disappointment, I felt no better after speaking with Carlisle. I still didn't know what to do. I grew angry at the impossibility of the situation. In a hotel room above me, there slept a beautiful girl, the loveliest I'd ever seen, who I wanted to kill and make love to all at the same time. I remembered touching her, wanting to touch her more, the burn in my throat… I was completely on edge. I headed out of the hotel, deciding that I needed the distraction of the hunt.

I took my time walking down the street instead of heading to the rooftops. I listened indifferently to the voices around me, thinking about the last time I'd walked this street pre-Bella. I had been engrossed with the task of finding a murderer. I remembered with satisfaction how easily it had been to kill Bella's attacker. It had felt…exhilarating. Before Bella's scent had destroyed me, I had been looking forward to sucking the monster dry. Even a few days later, I didn't feel guilty for killing the man. In fact, I was glad he was dead and buried in the wilderness. Carlisle definitely wouldn't approve of _that_.

I walked deeper into the shadows of the city, thinking about past arguments I'd had with Carlisle about our purpose. Carlisle said that we could lose our identities, our sense of humanity, if we partook of human blood. Was that true? I had always accepted it, but I didn't really know what I believed. Over the years, I had met other vampires who drank human blood, and they seemed to have personalities, relationships…

I also thought about the fact that hunting evil had brought me to Bella. Carlisle didn't seem to find that point very convincing. If there was a God, then maybe Bella was a sign that I was on the right path. On my first hunt, I had been led to a piece of heaven, telling me to continue.

"_YOU RUIN ME NO MORE, STUPID SLUT." _A man screamed into the night, louder over the voices in my head. He was screaming at a girl. Through the girl's thoughts, I could tell that she was no more than sixteen years old. She had failed to give the man money, and he was not planning to forgive her.

"_You're an ungrateful little bitch. You'll pay." _He thought the words while he screamed other obscenities at her, reaching for a belt. He had beaten this girl before, and he was going to do it again. The man didn't have a redeeming quality about him. Over the past several years, he had gradually let darkness take him. He sold drugs, raped women and had aided and abetted in a few murders. Normally, tonight would have been any other night of beating. No one else in the apartment complex gave the fight any attention.

I immediately thought of Bella's father. I could picture Bella cowering, just as this girl was now, frightened and defenseless. Like Bella, I could tell from the girl's thoughts that she had been in the hospital before. I could see her mentally preparing for the pain, hoping it wouldn't be as bad as the last time. I could see in the man's thoughts that it would be worse.

What if this girl was someone's Bella? I knew how easy it would be for me to prevent the man's atrocity. Killing had been easier than I could have ever hoped. So much of my time was spent controlling my natural strength around humans. It had felt so good to let go on Bella's attacker.

I couldn't bear it. I wasn't strong enough to walk away, especially not tonight. I wasn't Carlisle. I heard his mind, knew his intentions, and had to stop him.

No one else was on the street with me. I went unnoticed as I casually walked into the building's corridors. I strolled undetected to the apartment, turning the handle. It was locked, but I easily twisted the knob and broke through the deadbolt. I didn't even make a sound. Meanwhile, the man had already hit the girl with the belt once. He had decided to move on to a blunter object after a few more hits. The girl was huddling in pain, helpless to stop the onslaught.

I entered the apartment and shut the door behind me. The man was in the bedroom, the girl backed into a corner. No one else was here but the three of us. He hit her again, enjoying her fear. He didn't care if she died this time. She was worthless to him. He felt powerful.

I sneered at his thoughts. I would show him power.

I walked into the bedroom, the girl too distracted to notice me enter. In a few steps, I stood behind the man. He lifted up his arm to bring down another thrashing, harder this time, but I caught his arm. He shouted in surprise, and I covered his mouth with my other hand.

The girl, expecting another hit, looked up when none came. She saw me holding the man and froze with shock. Thankfully, it was dark, and I could tell that she couldn't completely make out my face. "Ssh…," I whispered to the girl, "I won't hurt you, but stay here."

The man was a waste. He had done nothing but hurt those that were weaker. I thought of Bella again. I felt like I was vindicating her.

I easily took the man into the other room with one arm, using my other arm to shut the bedroom door behind me. The girl could not see this. The man was scared in his thoughts, but not repentant. He couldn't understand my strength and wanted to kill me.

I didn't want to spill blood in the apartment that I would have to clean up later. I didn't know what else to do to kill him, and I was sick of fighting. There was no turning back. For once in my life, I let go of all of my doubts and inhibitions. After expending all of my energy denying Bella's blood, I had no restraint left for this man. I acted on instinct.

Violating my father's cardinal rule became the single most natural act of my existence. I bent my lips to the man's neck, finding his dominant artery; I had done it hundreds of times before with animals. I felt the wet, pumping blood underneath my lips. The scent was nothing compared to my Bella, but it was undisputedly better than an elk.

Without a sound, I broke his skin and began sucking up the red fluid. I could feel it coat my throat, thick and satisfying. For the first time in my life, the itching burn in the back of my throat disappeared. I sucked with more fervor. It was like a blind man suddenly getting to see all of the colors of a rainbow; the fullness of the flavor infused into my being and rocked my senses. As I drank, the monster's vile thoughts grew more and more distant. I drank greedily; I wanted to drain the thoughts as much as I wanted to feast on the hot liquid. It was doubly satisfying.

After a few minutes, he twitched underneath me, a soft gurgle escaping his lips. His thoughts finally went silent. I broke through more of his skin, trying to ingest every last drop of blood. Finally, he ran dry. I let go of him, letting his body hit the floor with a thud.

I reeled from my vampire act, taking note of the changes in my body. My mind was sharper, and I actually felt stronger. For the first time in either of my lives, I felt release. I wanted to laugh uncontrollably. Maybe I was high. My throat felt wonderful. Even the thought of Bella couldn't make me burn.

Although I was more alert than ever before, I hadn't felt this human since, well, I had actually _been_ human. I didn't feel like a monster. Was I now one more than ever? For tonight, I didn't care. The fresh blood ran through me, and it seemed to flood into parts of me that had been long forgotten over passing years. The animal blood surely never reached there.

I grabbed the body and scanned the outside for any people. Hearing none, I flew over the rooftops and to the river. I moved so fast, I didn't even think a watching human could have seen me. It felt wonderful. I disposed of the body, burying it so that it would never be found.

I thought of Bella. Would the human blood change how I felt about her? Would I hurt her now? As far as I could tell, nothing had changed. She still consumed my mind and intrigued me with her mysterious thoughts. I pictured her as she would be right now and thought of how beautiful she must look, slumbering in the moonlight. I could all but smell her from across town, her beautiful, flowery scent. Above all, I thought back to our hours of conversation from earlier in the evening. I had never felt so connected to another more than I had to Bella, and I had just met her. My desire for her was definitely intact.

I didn't think that I would hurt Bella. I headed back to her, a ghost in the night.

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	9. Chapter 9

**I am updating like crazy, I know! There is a cliffhanger in this chap and definitely some twists and turns up ahead. Stay tuned!!! **

**Thank you for all of the fabulous reviews. Please continue reviewing! Honestly, without your reviews, I wouldn't have the confidence to keep writing. Reviews make the whole process so much more constructive and fun. I want to get to 55 or so before I post the chapter (which I am writing, ha ha). **

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I stood outside the hotel room, breathing in Bella. I hesitated before going inside, testing my strength. I had been wrong; despite my recent feast, being near Bella still sent a harsh burn down my throat and venom to my mouth. The monster in me wanted to ravage her the way I'd ravaged the man. _Except the monster wanted to take its time with Bella._ I quivered with desire and sadness.

Yes, it was true that I still desired Bella, but it was also true that I felt more in control than I'd ever been in my entire life. I couldn't deny that. My thoughts stunned me. Did drinking human blood actually make it _easier_ to be around Bella? Tonight, I'd satisfied the vampire monster within me in ways that he and I had only dreamed about. Was Carlisle wrong all along? What if human blood could actually bring me closer to Bella? _What if I could have it all?_

Perhaps, the more evil I consumed, the more heaven God would give me as an award for my good deeds. Bella was heaven.

I walked into the dark hotel room. Bella was still sound asleep, but she had pushed the comforter to the foot of the bed in a bout of restlessness. A sheet was draped over her body, and it fitted intimately to her form as she moved. Unlike the last night, she tossed and turned tonight. I took my seat in the recliner and settled in to enjoy the show. I didn't need to sit, but it was less creepy than hovering over her, and I could always grip the armrests if it turned out that I needed them to steady myself. My control was holding steadfast, so I didn't need them now.

I stared at her curiously. Was her restlessness due to a nightmare? Maybe her subconscious was finally showing her the fear that she should have felt while awake.

"Edward?" I froze in the chair. Bella had spoken my name. She was awake? I didn't sense it at all. Humiliation replaced my surprise. She caught me red-handed; I looked like an infatuated stalker, sitting in the dark, staring at her. _Way to go, Edward._ _Way to be subtle. _I should have fled from the room, but felt frozen from hearing her say my name.

"Edward, I don't want dessert." I remained frozen, unable to speak yet. What was she talking about? Was she referring to earlier in the night? Why?

"Bella, I know what this must look like…" I was utterly confused but still embarrassed that she caught me sitting here.

"Hmm. Edward." She rolled off of her back and onto her good arm, sighing. Her movement caused her leg to fall from the pillows that were elevating it. I noticed that her eyes were closed. Wait… was Bella still sleeping? I was sure of it. Oh my, Bella talked in her sleep!?! This was a new development. Talk more, Bella! Reveal your secrets to me!

"No. Please, no." What was she talking about now? No? To whom? About what? Maybe this would be more torturous than I'd imagined. Sleeping Bella was even more mysterious and cryptic than waking Bella. At least I could demand that waking Bella explain herself.

"Edward." Again, she said my name. It thrilled me, but I worried that I was the one she was saying 'no' to in her dream. Say yes to me, Bella! Please believe me; I don't want to hurt you!

She no longer looked content and was thrashing about, mumbling incoherently as her dream picked up in pace. She was going to hurt her leg if she didn't stop convulsing. Was she running from something in the dream? Was it me?

I wanted to comfort her, needed to soothe her. Her frantic heartbeat permeated the room and crashed into my willpower. I needed her to stop flailing around, for the sake of both of us. Despite the bombardment of her scent, amazingly, I kept my self control. The human blood from a few hours before surged in my veins, heightening my strength. I funneled this strength into my willpower.

I stood up and walked over to the bed. Ever so gently, I cupped Bella's troubled face. It was silkier than I'd imagined, hot to the touch. "Bella. Wake up. You're having a nightmare.," I said softly. I didn't want to startle her.

She nestled her face into my cool skin. Her lips shifted into my hand, inadvertently breathing against the inside of my palm. Her breath felt fantastic and even warmer than her skin. She was so vulnerable and inviting. I moaned softly, deep in my throat. Normally, I would have been undone by this, but I was a new Edward. I put myself in check, calling upon my newfound strength.

"Bella, wake up. Wake up!" _Please, stop torturing me. I need you to be still again, like before._

She finally heard me and opened her eyes. I was still holding her face, and she looked up at me confused. "Edward! What's the matter?"

"Bella, you were having a nightmare and thrashing about. I didn't want you to hurt yourself. Your leg fell off the pillows…You were talking."

"Oh!" Blood collected under her cheeks, plunging my hand into a blissful fire. It was like feeling the sun for the first time after years of living under shadows.

"What did I say?," she asked cautiously.

I couldn't answer her, not yet. I was too consumed by the heat. I continued to stare at her. _Speak, Edward. Say anything!_ I screamed at myself to speak.

I managed a rough voice. "You said my name." More heat surged against my hand as she blushed harder, almost making me moan again. I must be a masochist, because I asked, "Were you having a nightmare?"

"Yes."

I felt rejected. I was stupid. I needed to leave her alone. I was…

"I had a nightmare that you left me." _What? _

"Bella, do I not scare you at all?" Could it be possible that she was telling the truth? That she wanted me to stay, the way that I wanted to stay with her?

"Yes, I'm not an idiot."

"I don't understand." I truly didn't.

"I know that you could kill me, and of course that scares me. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that. But you're not… bad, or else you would've killed me by now. If you can endure the burn I cause you, then I can endure the chance that you'll kill me."

She averted her eyes from my astonishment, continuing to speak quietly. "Also, it may be pathetic, but you're my only friend in this world, Edward. If I would've died in that warehouse, no one would have missed me. As long as you want me around, I want to stay. I've got nothing to lose that I shouldn't have already lost."

I moved my hand to her chin, tipping her face up towards mine. I wanted to see her eyes when I spoke. "Bella, you have no idea how important you are to me. But staying with me, me staying with you, is dangerous. It is hard for me to control myself around you." _You have no idea what I'm capable of doing, and what I'll do to myself if you die. _I was arguing with myself as much I was with her.

Her breath washed over me as she spoke. "Edward, I'll leave anytime that you want me to, because I don't want to cause you pain. But you're going to have to send me away. I'm not leaving because I'm afraid." Her eyes were full of stubbornness. Bella had made up her mind.

I dropped my hand from her face. She could see my conflict. Tentatively, she reached for my hand, pulling it back to her face. Her warmth electrified my whole arm. She tugged on my hand, pulling me closer. I didn't mind. I had been standing so close to her this whole time, it didn't make the burn much worse to get a little closer still… In a bold move, I took my other hand and placed it on her hair, stroking the lengths of it slowly.

"Hmm, that feels nice." She sighed.

We stayed like that for several minutes, absorbing the bond between us. It was already dawn.

"Do you want to sleep more?"

"No, I think I'm hungry again.," she said sheepishly.

"What do you feel like? I was going to have room service bring you up something…"

"Edward, I'm paying you back for this. You don't even eat."

"You have to stop worrying. I have nothing better to do with my money!" _And I love watching you eat. It's sexy. _

"I don't care. It's a matter of principle." She was so adorable when she was angry.

"Hmm, we'll work something out.," I said teasingly, hoping I didn't sound too suggestive. I had a hard enough time being a gentleman around her.

"Agreed. Oh, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"I meant to ask you yesterday, about your eyes. They change color. Why is that?" She looked shy.

I instantly panicked, her question pulling me into the reality of my night's hunt. My eyes! Had they changed with the human blood? Were they blazing a ghastly red?

"Hold that thought, Bella." I ran into the bathroom and studied my reflection. The golden color _was_ gone, but in its place was thankfully more of a brown than a red. My eyes now had traces of auburn and bronze, probably due to the red mixing with the gold. Truth be told, it made for a fairly normal color and even matched my hair. However, I knew that if I kept drinking human blood, the gold would eventually disappear, making my eyes deep red.

Before Bella knew that I was gone, I was standing by the bed again.

"Wow, how do you do that?"

"One of the many perks of being a vampire." I smiled crookedly.

"I see. And your eyes?"

How would I explain myself? I didn't want to admit to Bella that I'd drank human blood. It would just scare her, and I'd already reassured her that my family drank animal blood. Until I knew what I was doing, I would keep it a secret from her. Bella had secrets. I could have just one, couldn't I? Especially if that secret made it easier for me to be with her.

I settled on a simple explanation. "My eye color changes depending on when I've … eaten." Before she could ask more questions, I changed the subject. "Speaking of food, I better go get something ordered for you. What would like you like?"

"Anything," she said. I smirked. Fine, two can play that game. I would get her one of everything and learn her preferences that way. Bella would hate that. I chuckled, anticipating her adorable features changing from shock to fury at the sight of the smorgasbord I would lay before her.

"What's so funny?" She eyes me suspiciously.

"Nothing. I'll be right back."

"Oh! I almost forgot, Edward. My aunt! I should go see her…"

"No need, unless you want to. I've been sending her telegram updates."

Bella relaxed instantly. "Thank you. You think of everything, don't you?"

"I try."

I left the hotel room, locking the door securely behind me. As I walked to the elevator, maintaining a human façade, I froze. Coming up the elevator, about to get off on my floor, was another vampire.

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**R&R!! Who do you think is coming?** **Also, I think we may hear from Bella again soon... I'll fit her in asap. ilu guys! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Enjoy! This chapter is a big one. I am totally excited to keep going, but I need reviews. For those of you who are reading and not reviewing, show me some love! I love you; don't you love me? ;) I want to break 70 reviews before the next chapter...let's do it! Reviews keep me motivated, which is why I want them oh so badly. They're like a drug to me...my own personal brand of heroin (lol).  
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**I don't own twilight; I just worship it and S. Meyer. **

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I stood in front of the elevator, waiting for the door to open. I had exactly six seconds to get my act together and stop freaking out.

I could hear in the vampire's thoughts that he had been instructed to come and speak with me. It was to be an innocent introduction, a 'welcome to the area' of sorts. He traveled with a group of other vampires, and they claimed Atlanta as a part of their region. They wanted to know my intentions. How long was I to stay? What brought me here? Nothing too serious. They had picked up on my scent last night and followed it to the hotel.

I scanned his thoughts, looking for any knowledge of Bella. Nothing. _Play it cool, Edward._ I would need to keep Bella far from their knowledge, and I couldn't do that while freaking out. What if she held an appeal for them? Or, what if they thought she was a human pet and disapproved of my relationship with her? I didn't know if I was really allowed to do what I was doing, whatever that was exactly. What if something happened and I was expected to change her? I wouldn't be able to do it, and then we would both die. Yes, I was definitely freaking out. _Calm down, Edward! This isn't the Volturi coming. This is one sole vampire from Atlanta, no big deal. What would Carlisle do? Act like Carlisle._

The elevator door opened, and the vampire named Joshua looked at me, his eyes widening in shock. He hadn't expected me to be standing there, but I couldn't let him get any closer to my hotel room. It was far too risky. I uttered a small thanks for leaving the room when I did.

He wore a pair of aviator sunglasses, and his eyes glowed deep burgundy from behind the dark frames. He looked about twenty five years old, although I could tell from his thoughts that he had been a vampire for over a century. He was taller than me, scrappier, with black hair. I tried not to feel intimidated. I could handle this.

I decided it best to mirror his shock. I didn't want him to know that I could read minds and had been standing here, waiting for him.

"Hello," I said in a surprised but friendly tone. "This is unexpected."

He rearranged his shocked features into a smile, extending his hand. "I'm Joshua," he said. He had a Georgian drawl to his speech; maybe he'd been from around here before his change.

"Edward." I took his hand and shook politely.

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise, Joshua." _Look relaxed, say something reassuring._ "It's nice to meet a kindred spirit." I flashed an easy smile. _Get him into the lobby, away from Bella._ "I was just headed downstairs. Would you like to join me?"

"That'd be great." I could see that he was a little wary of me and wondering about my odd eye color. He also wanted to know why I was staying in this hotel. He expected an explanation.

"Did you know I was here?" I tried to sound nonchalant.

"Yes, we picked up on your presence last night. We…frequent the area and thought we'd introduce ourselves. Are you traveling alone?"

"Yes. I hope I'm not in your way. I'm just passing through."

"Oh, not at all. What brought you to Atlanta?" I heard his unspoken questions. _Why are your eyes so bizarre, and why are you bothering to stay in a hotel? _

"I'm just doing a bit of traveling. I have a coven but decided to travel on my own for a while. I wanted to look into some business ventures out here, so I checked into the hotel to keep up appearances." I shrugged.

_Ahh, that must be why I smell human on him. It's a strong scent, that's for sure._ "Where's your coven?"

"We're nomadic, but we mainly stay in Chicago and regions north of there. We spend a lot of time in Canada. I wanted to see a more southern region for once," I said simply. In actuality, I was lying through my teeth. We almost always maintained permanent residences in the US and hadn't been back to Chicago for over a decade, not since my change.

"Your eyes are strange…"

I laughed in response, acting like it was no big deal. In his mind, I saw that I was playing my part well. "It's a little trick I picked up for when I want to blend in more easily. Animal blood. It dilutes the eye color." I spoke indifferently. "It's manageable but not very sustainable long term."

"Animal blood?" He was intrigued and totally surprised. _What will George and the others think of this? Could I try that? Sounds disgusting._ "How'd you figure that out?"

"Living up in Canada, sometimes there are more bears than people. We tried it out once. The taste is off, but it works. Again, not my favorite thing to do." I needed to get away from this topic before he asked more questions. I didn't feel like getting into a philosophical discussion about my family's lifestyle at the moment.

"How much longer will you be in town?" _George will want to meet him. I need to arrange it._

Clearly, George was the leader of his coven, but I had no intention of meeting him. "I'm actually leaving today. I have plans to meet up with my coven tomorrow." I couldn't stay here now that they knew where I was. Normally, it wouldn't have mattered and I could've stayed, but Bella… she was a complication. Hopefully, if I left today, he wouldn't have enough time to arrange a meeting with me and this George character, nor would he have enough time to uncover the truth about my human companion.

Joshua nodded in understanding and asked, "Do you have a mate in your coven?" _I_ _bet he does. He's fairly good looking, even for a vamp. _ _But if he does, why wouldn't his mate be with him?_ He was making small talk, trying to figure me out.

"I'm playing the field at the moment," I smiled. "There are a few women I see regularly up north, though. You?" If I got out of this unscathed, I would laugh about my lie later. Sure, I saw women up north—if you counted my mother and sister.

"Yes, I have a mate that I've been with for a few years now." _Eighty, to be exact._ I could see that Joshua had a tumultuous relationship with her. I didn't care and decided to politely end the conversation. We were in the lobby now; it seemed like an opportune time.

"I may be back through this area in a month or so. Perhaps I'll see you again, and then I can meet your mate and others from your coven? I would enjoy that."

"Oh. Of course." Joshua was surprised that I was ending the conversation so abruptly. He thought we'd go see George together after we spoke. "I'm intrigued by your animal practice. I'm sure my coven would love to hear stories about the north."

"Definitely. It would be my pleasure."

"While you're here, please be careful with your hunting practices. I'm sure you understand."

"Certainly."

Joshua thought I was a little eccentric but innocent enough. Had I pulled it off? Normally, I had Carlisle to help with things like this, but I realized that my extra hearing was all that I'd needed. I'd anticipated Joshua's thoughts and spun my story perfectly. I felt a little smug.

All it took was one moment for my luck to change. Joshua and I had said goodbye, he was leaving, and then in walked Bella's aunt. She saw me from across the hotel lobby, her eyes narrowing. Her thoughts were biting as she marched over to me. I was screwed.

_Who does this asshole think he is, taking Bella away and putting her up in this place? Prince Charming? I bet Bella's sleeping with him. I knew she was a little tramp. They can both go to hell. Bella is MY niece! I've been stuck at home while Bella plays hussie uptown. What does he see in her, anyway? He's clearly going to leave her when he's done satisfying himself. I bet he's sleeping with tons of women. Well, I'm ending his little twisted game right now. Besides, I need Bella to come back. I want to go out with Rob tonight… _

Her thoughts continued like this as she stormed over to me. She had found out where the telegrams were coming from and decided to look for Bella. If I hadn't been in the lobby, she probably wouldn't have even found us. After all, she only knew my first name. And now she was going to confront me about Bella, in front of Joshua. _Damnit! How was I getting out of this mess? _

"Oh, great," I muttered, so that Joshua could hear.

"What?"

"It's a psychopath I met the other night when I was at a club downtown. She got pissed when I rejected her, and now she thinks I know her niece somehow. She'd told me that her niece doesn't even live in Atlanta. I have no idea what she's talking about. She's totally insane."

"Wow," Joshua muttered, "That is crazy, really weird." I could hear in his thoughts that he hadn't discredited me completely yet; the whole situation was just too bizarre.

"Why, _hello_," the aunt sneered, throwing up her arms. "Fancy seeing you here. Where the hell is my niece? No more games, no more telegrams. I want to see her, now, or I'm calling the cops."

"Do I know you?" I played dumb, looking over to Joshua.

"Don't play stupid with me. Where is Bella, now?! I know she's in your hotel room, and that you've been doing God knows what with her." That upset me. This woman was insinuating Bella's impurity in front of a whole lobby of people. Never before had I wanted to hit a woman so badly. I knew better than to actually do it, but I still wanted to. Bella didn't deserve this woman's blasphemy.

People in the hotel were watching, and I could tell from their thoughts that they thought Bella's aunt looked ridiculous, ranting in public like this. Joshua, however, didn't completely agree. He started entertaining the aunt's accusations.

_Could he really have a human girl in there? Maybe that's why he has a hotel room? What the hell? If it's true, is she a snack? I don't think George would like this. I mean, to each his own, but it seems a little twisted. I need to investigate, to be sure…_

Joshua turned to me, concealing his plan behind a friendly smile. "I'll let you deal with this and we'll catch up later. See you soon, I hope."

I nodded, turning my attention back to the aunt as Joshua walked away. I could hear in his thoughts that he was getting another vampire before coming back; he didn't sense that I knew anything about his plan. He intended to return within the hour. That meant that I only had a matter of minutes to ditch the aunt and get Bella out of here. Would Bella go with me? Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able give her a choice. What kind of danger had I just put her in? What kind of mess had I caused? I groaned inwardly. _Stupid, stupid idiot…_

Bella's aunt was still yelling at me, demanding to see Bella. I concocted a plan as we stood there and hoped to God it would work.

"Fine. Listen to me. Just calm down and I'll take you to Bella. You can talk to her yourself. But you must stop screaming."

"Don't you dare tell me what to do! You just lead the way, Prince Charming."

I took her to the top floor and into the hotel room. The whole time, her thoughts were agitated but envious. Despite how rude I'd been to her, she still fantasized about being with me. Although she was_ clearly _psychotic, I felt badly for her. She was alone and raising a child. That couldn't be easy. Maybe I'd send her some anonymous money later, just to help her get back on her feet. If it would make Bella happy, then I would gladly do it. I knew one thing for certain: she wasn't getting her niece back. Bella was _mine_.

"Bella," I called. She was no longer in the bed, but her scent wafted out from the bathroom, churning my stomach. She opened the door and started limping out.

"Edward, look, I can kind of walk on my leg…" Her excitement was halted when she saw her aunt. Bella's mouth made a little "O," and she stood there speechless. I thought she was beautiful.

Her aunt ran over to her, being overdramatic. Her thoughts were not nearly as concerned as she pretended. "Bella, OH MY GOD honey, I thought you were dead! How could you do that to me? I've been worried sick. I haven't even slept, and poor Caleb…"

"I'm sorry. I haven't been able to walk very well. Didn't you get Edward's messages?"

"Yes, but for all I knew, he was a rapist or something. Oh, Bella! You need to leave with me right now. I'll take care of you. We've bothered this man enough."

Bella was without words and shot me a pleading look. I drew encouragement from it, remembering when she'd said that she wanted to stay with me. It was time to put my plan into action.

"Bella isn't going anywhere. We're in love."

The aunt stared at me like I was dumb. "What in God's name are you talking about?"

"Bella has agreed to marry me, and we're leaving for my family's estate immediately." I shrugged innocently. "It just happened, really. Neither of us could control it, and we've decided to make our love official as soon as possible. I wanted to tell you in the lobby, but I thought it best to tell you with Bella present."

For as much trouble as we were in, I couldn't help but enjoy Bella's shocked expression. She was more shocked than her aunt.

"That's ridiculous," the aunt scoffed. "You've just met! And, you're years older than her!"

"Actually, I'm only two years older than Bella. And she's old enough to make her own decisions. It turns out that she loves me as much as I love her. I'm the luckiest man in Atlanta," I turned my eyes on Bella, giving her my most charming grin. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?" Bella stayed frozen, mouth open, while her aunt waited for her reply. I winked.

My wink seemed to unfreeze her, and she turned to her aunt to speak. "That's right. We're in love. He saved me, and it's been…magic ever since. I was going to tell you in person this afternoon; it's just all happened so fast." Bella tried to look convincing, but I could tell how mortified she was. I laughed silently. She was a horrible actress. I would have to remember that for the future.

"Bella darling," I said devotedly, "we need to pack. It turns out that our train is leaving earlier than we thought. I hate to pull you away from your aunt, but we really must hurry." Bella had no idea what was going on; thank goodness she was going along with it.

"Er, yes. We need to go." She turned to her aunt. "I'll let you know as soon as I get to…"

"Washington," I interjected. I walked over to Bella, ignoring the burn and reaching for her hand. I held it tenderly, making sure not to hurt her. I could hear her heart accelerate and feel her body flush. I breathed in her scent, willing it to become familiar. _Get used to it, Edward. You have a long trip ahead of you._ At least I was well fed for the time being.

Bella had only known me for going on 48 hours, and I was suddenly her betrothed. _I_ didn't mind, but I wondered how much I'd upset her. At the moment, I only cared about getting her away from here as quickly and as safely as possible. I would worry about my consequences later.

As Bella's aunt said her dazed goodbyes, I thought about the impossible task ahead of Bella and me. Once her aunt left, Bella turned to me, a question in her chocolate eyes.

"What is going on?"

"Bella, we have to go. I'm so sorry, but I've put you in danger. There are vampires coming here in a matter of minutes to investigate this hotel room, and I can't let them find you. We need to get on a train and leave from here immediately. I'll explain more after we get on the train, but we're going to meet my family. I can protect you more easily with their help until we can figure everything out. I'm so sorry; I can't afford to give you a choice in the matter. You have to come with me."

"O-okay," she stuttered. "I told you I would trust you."

"Oh, and Bella, we should probably pretend to be married on the way. It'll be easier. I'm sorry about that, too, if I've upset you." It wasn't proper of me at all, but the circumstances demanded it.

She started blushing. "No, it makes sense. I'm sorry _you_ have to pretend." She ducked her head and reached down for her bag.

"Don't be silly, Bella. It's an honor to be your betrothed." I reached for a lock of her hair and her blush deepened. I swallowed my venom and focused on the fact that I was getting better at making her blush. It was delicious and so warm.

I packed some pastries for Bella and all of the items from the bathroom that she may be able to use. Thankfully, she had a change of clothes in her bag, and I made her wear my jacket; anything to obscure her scent would help our escape. I wished in vain that I could have gotten her proper traveling attire and luggage. I wanted my pretend wife to travel with the best that money could buy. Bella deserved it.

I hoped that Joshua and his _friends_ would follow our scent to the train station and then decide to let us go. We hadn't done anything to them, and once we left their region, we should no longer be their concern. It all depended on how curious they wanted to be, and whether they would be angry that I'd lied to them. I thought about traveling on foot because it was faster, but on the off chance they caught up with us, we couldn't afford to be alone. If it came to a fight…I shuttered. I didn't know whether I could fight multiple vampires and protect Bella at the same time. It was better to stay on the trains, around people. They would have a harder time isolating us from others, and it would make us look less guilty than if we just fled.

"Are you ready," I asked Bella.

"Yes, I think so."

I picked her up in my arms, and she clutched her bag to her chest. The burn was excruciating but subdued thanks to the human blood.

"Is this hard for you?" she asked. I must've looked like I was in pain again.

"Only momentarily. It gets easier."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for that, Bella. Besides, it's a constant reminder that you're alive, which makes me happy." I smiled, listening to her heart beat.

We left through the window and went up to the rooftops, traveling to the train station from above. I would call Carlisle at the first opportunity I got. I was coming home.

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**What's in store?? If you want to know, then review! Tell your friends, send a telegram, whatever! haha. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Washington is around the corner! There's a ton in store! For now, sit back and enjoy the (train) ride. ;)**

**Twilight does not belong to me; it is 100% owned by S. Meyer**.

**REVIEW!!! School is starting next week, and I need the motivation to continue. This story exists because of the reviews I get, even the ones that are one word. Thanks, all of you! You know who you are, because I send you adoring messages. **

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I glided over the rooftops with Bella in my arms. She buried her ivory face into my sweater to avoid the dizzying scenery. Even through my clothing, I could feel her hot breath on my stomach. My muscles involuntarily tightened in response, but it was wholly enjoyable. I wanted to lift up my sweater and have her keep breathing. I imagined her breath trailing down my stomach… I pulled her tighter to my body in anticipation, and then loosened my grip immediately. I needed to stop fantasizing and focus on getting her out of here safely.

We got to the train station in record time, and I scaled down the side of a building when no one was watching. It was overcast, and it looked like it might rain. I scanned the crowds, listening to the thoughts of those around me. Was Joshua here? I'd hoped we'd beat him, and it seemed as if we had.

"Bella, we're here. If I hold you, do you think you can walk?"

"Yes." She lowered her voice. "Are we in the clear?"

"So far, so good."

I sat her down and put my arm around her slender waist, pulling her body close to mine. My body heated in response, making me fantasize more about Bella touching me, and I her. The burn was still there, but it was taking a back seat to other feelings that I was experiencing. _Seriously, Edward! Are you no better than a hormonal teenager?_

For once, I started to sympathize with my human admirers. I was having a harder and harder time controlling my indecent thoughts. I'd never had my own before, and it was entirely distracting. I was completely unhinged, and it was totally inappropriate. I frowned as I tried to get my feelings in check. Angry vampires could be here any minute for Bella and me. I needed to think about that.

We walked into the train depot and checked departure times. Luckily, there was a train departing for St. Louis in the next twenty minutes. We could connect to Denver from there and then continue northwest to Tacoma. The whole trip would take three to four days. I purchased our tickets and booked a private cabin, the largest they offered. I would be alone with Bella in a confined space with few places to go, and I needed as much space as possible. It would be torture and heaven all at once.

I kept close to the loading dock, waiting impatiently for the train. Bella sat on a bench, her eyes fixed on my pacing figure. I tried to get her to eat something, but she insisted that she wasn't hungry. Seventeen more minutes to go. I could hear the train rumbling in the distance, and it would be on time. I gave Bella a smile, trying to reassure her. I knew my smile wasn't very convincing. I was obviously tense.

Nine minutes to go. With each passing minute, I grew more impatient. I could taste the freedom. Bella chewed on her lower lip out of nervousness, temporarily distracting me from my agitation. Who could focus while she did that? I intentionally averted my eyes so as to avoid another fantasy.

Four minutes to go. The train would arrive, and it would take only a few moments for them to load passengers. I had my tickets anxiously in hand. Bella heard the train coming into the station, and she looked up eagerly, meeting my eyes. Now, she gave me a reassuring smile. Almost time.

Two minutes to go. Still nothing out of the ordinary in the minds of those around us. A younger guy walked by and noticed Bella, which irritated me. He thought she was cute, but then hurried away when he saw me glaring at him. Bella was much more than cute, and the guy was in for extreme disappointment if he tried to hit on her. I would've humiliated him. I amused myself with this as the train arrived into the station. One more minute to go.

The train came to a halt and started unloading the few passengers and luggage it was carrying. We should be able to board in no time. Still nothing in the thoughts around me, until…

_Carlisle Cullen. _

I froze. Some had thought my father's name.

_Is it…no, it can't be? Since when did he start a coven? I've never known anyone else to drink animal blood, and the eyes… Joshua was right about that._

Someone was here, and he was thinking about my father, about me. I frantically scanned the crowd, looking for the voice. Finally, I saw the man responsible for the thoughts. He looked in his mid-thirties and had dark brown hair. He was extremely muscular and wore sunglasses, just like Joshua had. His eyes showed a deep burgundy. The man looked like a lumberjack, and he knew my father. My body tensed in preparation. I didn't care who he knew. If he intended to hurt Bella, then I was prepared to fight.

We locked eyes, and a slow smile crept over his face. He looked at Bella, and then back at me, raising his eyebrows. _"What do we have here?"_ he thought. _Hmm… The boy looks like he's found a little pet. Poor girl. I bet she's completely smitten and has no idea what he is. It's hardly fair. I wonder how Carlisle is involved. Wow, look at how defensive he is! That's strange to be so protective over a human. Easy, boy… _

I tried to relax my features, but I was coiled in anticipation. He walked up to me, a smirk on his face. In his thoughts, he was completely relaxed and amused. I saw that this was George, the leader of Joshua's coven. When Joshua had told him about my eyes, he had decided to come check things out for himself, remembering Carlisle from many years before. He had known Carlisle when Carlisle had first arrived to the New World. He had liked my father and didn't want to miss a chance to meet one of Carlisle's very own 'followers.' He was also curious about my human companion.

Bella looked up from the bench in shock as the man walked up to me. Her shock quickly morphed into fear as she realized what he was. Bella remembered my warning that they may be coming for us. I could smell her fear; the adrenaline was palpable. George smelled it, too.

_The girl is afraid of me? Do I look that frightening? I wonder why? Is she running from something, with him? This whole situation is peculiar, that's for sure. _

"Hello, Edward. I'm George. You met my associate, Joshua, earlier today. I decided to come and welcome you myself, and I'm glad I'm not too late."

"Yes." I kept my voice controlled and smooth, but the tension was all but rolling off of me.

"So, you're headed back to your coven, then? Tell me, who leads your coven, if there is one leader?"

"Carlisle Cullen. I joined him over a decade ago. I'm returning to him now." I didn't want to reveal my younger age, so I made it sound like I joined up. He didn't need to know that Carlisle was my creator.

"Ahh, Carlisle. I've met him before, many years ago. He is the only other I've heard of besides you who dabbles in alternative sustenance, shall we say. Although, I see you've been expanding your palate." He smirked, and looked meaningfully at Bella. "Are you packing a lunch for the long train ride, Edward? Would Carlisle approve?" He smiled in amusement.

Fury boiled in my veins. I spoke tight lipped. "No. It isn't like that."

"How is it, then?" George was laughing from his amusement. I didn't want to reveal the power of Bella's blood over me, but I didn't know what else to do. If I was rude, it may instigate something further, and I needed to do what was best for Bella. I fought for self control before I spoke.

"The girl is…a family friend. Carlisle is expecting her."

He eyed Bella, and then looked at me. "Will you not introduce me to your family friend?" _She has an interesting scent, more floral than most humans. It's definitely refreshing..._

"Maybe another time. We have a train to catch, so if you'll excuse us..."

_Not so fast._ "Surely you can catch a later train, Edward. Carlisle wouldn't want you to be rude. We should talk privately, get to know each other better."

"I don't think so, George." I gave him an uncompromising stare that made my intentions clear. There was no way that I was leaving this station and taking Bella to a coven of vampires. I would rather fight him than submit to his demand. I searched his mind for any signs of relenting. He may be stronger, but I had a few advantages of my own.

He measured my determination, and any remaining amusement he had disappeared. He wasn't accustomed to being refused; anger contaminated his thoughts. He weighed his options as we stared at each other. On one hand, he could force me to obey him, but that would cause a public fight; he knew that I would make him drag me out of here. He had more to lose than I did by exposing himself, and he recognized that; after all, this was his area, and he had worked hard cultivating it. Plus, he had a whole coven to consider. He'd always liked Carlisle and would regret making an enemy out of his old acquaintance. However, I had offended his ego, and he wanted to make me pay for that. He could care less about Bella's safety, so that wasn't an issue.

I almost sighed with relief when he made up his mind: He would let us go, but he wouldn't forget this. He may like Carlisle, but I had made an enemy out of George.

"Edward, have a good trip. It's unfortunate that we couldn't become better acquainted. I expect that you'll give Carlisle my regards." With a menacing tone, he added, "You and I will meet again, I'm certain." As long as they didn't hurt Bella, I didn't care what happened to me. I could handle anything as long as Bella was safe. And for now, we were getting out of here.

"I look forward to it," I said formally. "Please send my regards to your coven, as well, especially Joshua." I turned to Bella, keeping with my formal tone. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice. George watched as I grabbed Bella's bag and helped her off of the bench.

_He touches her so carefully. Hmm, the girl is pretty. There is something almost translucent about her. I wonder if she has any idea that she's probably going to die. What does Carlisle want with a human? One thing is certain: Edward is a bastard. Carlisle should keep better company. Maybe Edward will leave the coven; he did recently have human blood. If he does, then I can teach him a lesson about being polite. I'd enjoy that. _

I listened to his thoughts as Bella and I boarded the train, elated that George intended to leave us alone. Never did George directly suspect that Bella was my singer, which surprised me. Maybe the legends were not that well known, after all. I felt like my feelings about her were obvious, but I was clearly a little biased on the matter.

Bella's breathing still hadn't returned to normal as we headed down the aisle to find our cabin. We passed through a dining room and a lounge area before finally finding our room. Ours was in the back of the train and was definitely larger than some of the closet-sized rooms. Nevertheless, it was still tiny. There was just one narrow cot in the room with a bench about six feet from the bed. This would be interesting, sharing such close living quarters with Bella.

Once we were alone, I took a deep breath in the confined space, closing my eyes. Fire ripped through my body and caused my hands to tremble. Her scent quickly permeated every corner of the room; it was mouthwatering. I felt like I was trying to breathe underwater. It swirled around me and clouded my vision. I took note of the pain and let it wreck me, but I never lost control. I still felt strong and remained convinced that my strength was due to the human blood. I would keep Bella safe. I could do this.

I opened my eyes and looked at her. She was standing very still against the wall and watching me breathe. I composed myself so as to not scare her anymore. Today had been traumatic enough, even for me. I felt a little tired, despite my inability to sleep.

"I was just...adjusting, Bella. I'm sorry to scare you." I felt ashamed by my weakness.

"Edward, stop apologizing. I'm just trying to make it easier on you by not moving. Are you …okay? Are we safe?"

"Yes, I'm fine. We're fine. They're going to leave us alone. They didn't want a fight and decided it wasn't worth it. I'm sorry." For as relieved as I felt, I felt equally horrible for endangering Bella. I should've been more careful and visited her aunt in person. And what was I thinking, staying in a hotel with her like I was…normal?

She looked exasperated at my martyred expression. "You have to stop apologizing and beating yourself up."

"Bella, I put you in constant danger. I have a lot to apologize for. I cannot deny that."

She looked angry. I wanted to read her thoughts and figure out why. Was I irritating her? Even if I was, it was important for her to know how badly I felt.

"Edward, I meant what I said. I want to be here with you, and I don't care that it's dangerous. Again, I'd be dead if not for you."

Now, I was the angry one. "If I'm not to apologize anymore, Bella, then you're not to keep saying _that_." I raised my voice in frustration. "Is that why you want to stay with me, because you figure you should be dead, anyway? Who cares if I kill you, because you're living on borrowed time?" I didn't want Bella to view her life in such a way.

Something else occurred to me. Was Bella with me because she felt indebted to me? Well, I would leave now if it meant life for her. She deserved better than a life of guilt. "You don't owe me anything," I said.

"I'm here because I want to be," she whispered.

"Why, Bella? Why would you want to be here with a vampire?" I couldn't read her mind and was about to lose my own in the process. What were the real reasons that this creature wanted to be around me? I noticed that she flinched when I'd said vampire, but she needed to hear it. It was the truth.

"I should ask you the same question," she retorted, raising her chin. She didn't play fair but was completely right. Why should she have to answer a question that I wasn't willing to answer myself? _Because I want you, Bella, in ways that I shouldn't, in ways that I never have wanted anyone before. Because I find you fascinating, and brave, and irresistibly beautiful. _

We stared at each other, both unwilling to speak our minds. After a few long moments, my anger subsided; it was ridiculous to have this tension between us. I wanted to enjoy being with her for as long as that may be, and we had a whole train ride ahead of us. We didn't have to figure everything out today. Besides, it would be harder for me to find ways to touch her if she was mad at me. She was so irresistible.

I grinned at Bella, lifting an eyebrow. She continued to stare at me, a smile eventually tugging at the corners of her mouth. I could tell our argument was over, at least for now.

"Really, Mrs. Cullen, we shouldn't fight. We _are_ newlyweds, after all. What will the other passengers think?," I asked in mock horror.

She laughed a musical laugh. "I suppose you're right, Mr. Cullen. How thoughtless of us."

I joined in her laughter, admiring how exquisite she looked when smiling. "Let's go look around, shall we?" I offered her my arm. She took it with a smile, her heart pounding in her chest. Again, I hoped fervently that her heart sped out of attraction.

We had a long trip ahead of us, and I would have plenty of time to figure out exactly what Bella thought of me. I tried not to think about how selfish I was being; regardless, I knew that I couldn't stay away from her. Bella had said that she wouldn't leave me unless I told her to go. I would adopt the same principle. I wouldn't leave her unless she wished for it.

A wicked thought occurred to me. If Bella did like me out of guilt, I could always change that, right? Once we got into Denver, I would try this the old-fashioned way. I would take Bella out on a real date. She deserved to be wooed. One thing was certain: I would figure out Bella's interest in me before we got to Washington.

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	12. Chapter 12

**School is nearing, and the stress will inevitably take me from writing...unless you review and show me your love. Then, I will write more, too excited to prioritize homework first. haha. **

**In all seriousness, I am excited about this chapter, and we are almost to Washington. WHAT WILL HAPPEN??? **

**S. Meyer owns Twilight, not me.  
**

Bella's POV

I picked at a bagel, my thoughts elsewhere. The train's motion vibrated my seat, but I had learned to tune it out after awhile. At first, the perpetual motion of the train had made me dizzy, but then again, I couldn't be sure that the train was to blame for my unsteadiness. Since Edward had entered my life, I couldn't be sure of anything. I was probably dizzy from being around him. He tended to take my breath away.

We were in the dining room eating breakfast—well, _I_ was eating while Edward pretended to already be full. As stealthily as I knew how, I glanced up at him from underneath my eyelashes. I was trying to go unnoticed, because I wanted the chance to just _look_ at him for once. He was so observant, and it was nearly impossible for me to just look at him without his ever-watchful eyes on me within a second. Not that I minded the attention he gave me. I just wished I understood it better…

To my delight, Edward seemed unaware of my gaze. The train rumbled around us, and I casually put a piece of bagel in my mouth. He had been reading a magazine, but now his head was cocked towards a young couple. He was pursing his lips together, hearing something in their thoughts that forced him to hold back a laugh. His dark sweater contrasted with his fair complexion and set off his eyes, which were a brilliant bronze at the moment. I tried to monitor his eye color closely, because I knew it would tell me about his diet; obviously, there were no large animals on the train, so I worried. I had no idea how often he should eat, but I could tell when it was hard for him to be around me. I hated making him uncomfortable, and I felt guilty about it, even though he'd told me not to.

I greedily explored the rest of him, which was equally breathtaking. His unruly hair made him look younger than usual this morning and impossibly handsome. As he lounged in the leather booth with his crooked smile, a woman walked by and did a double take. Edward frowned slightly, probably displeased with her thoughts. He'd told me before how difficult it was to hear the thoughts of others, and that his extra 'hearing' had been pivotal in his decision to leave home. Now, we were going back. I felt guilty about this, too; he'd said that he could protect me better there, but I didn't want him to have to go back if he didn't want to. I had no idea how much of a burden I was, and I didn't even know what would happen to me once I got there. Was he going to stay with me? Once I was safe, would I be on my own? I had no idea.

Although he'd probably sensed my gaze on him long ago, he finally looked up and met my eyes. I put my head down, embarrassed to be caught ogling at him. I could sense his confused look – _did he really not know how gorgeous he was?_ – and my heart sped up, a blush spreading across my cheeks. The realization of my blush made me flush an even deeper pink, because I was sure that he could sense the heat. Knowing my luck, he could probably hear my heart betraying me.

"Bella?" His voice was velvet and captivating without even trying to be.

"Mmm…?" I said, chewing another piece of bagel.

He smiled, his eyes dancing with amusement. "How is the bagel, Bella? I'm sure he was going to say something else but must've thought better of it.

"Fabulous." I rolled my eyes.

"We should be arriving in Denver later this evening. Then we'll catch another late-night train to Tacoma. Luckily, we'll have a few hours to explore the city. Have you even been to Denver?"

I shook my head no. Atlanta was about as far away from Florida as I'd ever been. We had arrived in St. Louis late one night and practically ran to catch our connecting train. Edward promised to show me St. Louis another time, which had made my irrationally happy. I kicked myself for reading into his comment; he'd probably said it to be polite.

"There's a few sights to see in Denver. We can grab dinner." He smiled.

"That sounds great."

"Bella, I would like to ask you something." He looked at me with smoldering eyes, taking my breath away. He fidgeting slightly, making me wonder why he was hesitant. Edward never fidgeted.

"Anything." I tried to sound encouraging, but I was nervous due to his unease. We hadn't spoken about anything too serious since leaving Atlanta. After our standoff in the cabin that first day, Edward seemed determined to keep things light for the remainder of the trip. I knew we would need to talk eventually, though. I had too many questions, and the closer we got to Tacoma, the more pressing those questions became. In fact, I'd planned to bring up some of my many questions later today.

Edward wanted something, I could tell, because he reached for my hand across the table. It was so rare that he touched me, and it always sent electricity through me. My heart fluttered in response to his touch. _Stupid, heart. _It was such a traitor!

"Isabella," he began seductively, "I'd like the honor of escorting you on a date this evening. Your company would bring me immense pleasure." I stopped breathing and stared at him, dumbfounded. He continued with a grin. "I promise to be nothing less than a gentleman."

I pulled myself together, giving him a smile of my own. "I accept your invitation. And Edward, you are ever the gentleman; I expect nothing less."

He chuckled, still holding my hand. "Thank you, _Mrs. Cullen_," he teased. "I will not disappoint you." He rubbed his thumb over the top of my hand, shooting pleasure up my arm and into my stomach. Then, he brought two of his fingers up to his lips, smiling at me wickedly. He kissed his fingers, and then ever so gently pushed them against the top of hand. It was beyond sexy, I thought I might faint. I thought about his lips so often that even their inadvertent touch sent my head spinning. _Get a hold of yourself, Bella._

He laughed freely and released my hand. "Finish eating." He went back to reading his magazine, a smile lingering on his lips. I stared at him a moment longer, sighed, and went back to the bagel.

I realized through my infatuation that I was equally frustrated. At times, he seemed like he had no interest in me whatsoever. He would talk about how wrong and dangerous it was for us to be around each other, and I would see that he believed it. But then other times, like a moment ago, he seemed at ease and just as attracted to me as I was to him. I couldn't figure him out. Maybe he was just being polite by flirting with me, but then there was tenderness in his voice when he spoke to me, almost a reverence. I just didn't him understand at all.

I was frustrated at myself, too. I had always been a practical person; I had to be growing up. I didn't survive my childhood by being naïve, and I definitely hadn't survived my adolescent years by falling head over heels for men. In fact, I had never been in love and didn't even know that I believed in it. I'd never seen it for myself, so I remained cautious and skeptical… until Edward.

My practical side knew that Edward was dangerous and perhaps every bit the monster that he claimed to be. Every practical bone in my body screamed at my mind to heed its warnings about him and run. But Edward had awakened another part of me, one that, over time, had managed to persuade the practical side of me to join its team. One night in the hotel room, my first conscious night with him, had been what convinced me. Although I'd known by then that he was capable of being dangerous, nothing could have prepared me for the revelation that he was a vampire. Despite his frightening admission, I didn't think that he would hurt me, and I was incapable of leaving, anyway.

We'd ended up talking for hours about everything, both equally captivated and intrigued by one other. He'd told me about his life, and I told him about mine. He discussed his love for his parents, speaking with adoration about his mother and admiration for his father, who dedicated his entire existence to saving humans. No part of me could deny that Edward was good. Even my practical side couldn't deny one simple truth: even if Edward was immortal, he was still _human_.

I had never felt so connected to anyone else in my entire life, had never discussed myself so freely or been so stimulated by another's thoughts. If this wasn't love, then I didn't know what was. I loved Edward Cullen. I didn't care that he was a vampire, or that we wanted to kill me. I just couldn't bring myself to feel afraid. My practical side no longer cared and was equally in love. I loved him and would die to be with him. Living without him would be as empty as death.

When I had tried to explain a mild version of this to him, it had come out sounding stupid and juvenile. Plus, I'd offended him in the process. I couldn't tell him that I thought I loved him. He would never believe me, and I would probably be the one to scare him for once. I had only known him for a matter of hours, and I'm sure he had women fancying themselves in love with him all of the time. Yes, Edward was physically flawless and gorgeous, and yes, I lusted after him, but I knew it was something more. I almost wished that he wasn't a god for one second. It would make my love for him more believable when I eventually admitted it.

Just then, a server walked up to our table, an older man in his late 50's. "Mr. Cullen, would you and your wife like anything else this morning?" I blushed at being called his wife, and Edward shot me an adoring grin before answering.

"Love, would you like anything else?" He was enjoying my embarrassment. I wanted to punch him.

I decided two could play that game. "No, darling, I'm fine. Would _you_ like anything? You didn't eat at all!" I feigned concern.

He looked surprised for a second and then smiled. "I'm satisfied at the moment, thank you. Who could want for anything with you as his wife?" He reached for my hand while simultaneously reaching for his wallet, sending my pulse through the roof. He put his index finger on my pulse, smiling evilly. "Thank you, we'll be fine," he said to the server, without breaking our stare. He handed a bill to the man, who quickly moved on. I'm sure our syrupy devotion was a little hard to stomach.

I smirked at him, once again embarrassed by my obvious attraction. "C'mon, Romeo," I said jokingly, standing up to leave.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in our cabin, lounging around and reading. He kept his distance from me, choosing to read in a far corner of the room. I knew it was easier that way, but I still felt disappointed. He had been so affectionate this morning; I was hoping that he would continue. Every now and then, though, when we would lock eyes, the heat between us was palpable. Inevitably, one of us would drop our gaze, but a slow fire built up between us throughout the afternoon. At one point, Edward made an excuse to leave, and I think it was because he felt it, too. I wondered if he could be attracted to me in the same way that I was to him, or if it was only my blood that held an appeal. I hoped his interest more mirrored my own.

Once it was dark outside, I could feel the train decelerate, and I knew that we were approaching Denver. I was excited to walk around and really stretch my legs. Throughout the ride, I had been walking the lengths of the hallways to stretch my injured leg, and I could now put my full weight on it. The bruises were still bad, but at least the one on my face wasn't too noticeable. I could hide the other ones easily enough with clothing.

I was also excited because I was going on a date with Edward, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Edward helped me pack my meager belongings and escorted me off of the train. To my pleasant surprise, he put his hand on the small of my back and guided me through the throngs of people leaving their cabins. People looked at us together, although I'm sure they were mainly looking at him. I tried not to feel inadequate next to his perfection and instead focused on the fact that I was with him at all.

We exited the train and Edward held my bag, grabbing my hand as we walked. It was incredibly sweet; I tried not to read into it as anything more than part of our marriage facade. Despite the coolness of his skin, mine always seemed to heat up in response to his. I looked up at him, searching for any sign of discomfort, but he looked composed. Maybe being with me was getting easier for him. I hoped so.

We walked hand in hand through the city. Denver was a small town, but it was alive with people and stores. I could kind of make out mountains in the distance, but it was too dark to be sure.

Suddenly, Edward stopped in front of a clothing store, giving me a smile. He started pulling me in, but I tugged on his hand as hard as I could. He sensed what I wanted and looked down at me disapprovingly. His handsome face was almost too much to bear.

"Now now, Bella. We both need a change of clothes or two, and besides, we aren't exactly dressed appropriately for where I'd like to take you to dinner."

I shook my head. "Edward, we don't need to go somewhere fancy, and I don't want you to have to buy me clothes!"

"I don't _have_ to do anything. I want to. Besides, we've agreed to be married on this little journey of ours. Can I not buy my wife a few nice things? I insist."

When I still looked uncompromising, he turned the force of his gaze on me. Still holding my hand, he took his other hand and lifted it to stroke my face. "Please," he said sincerely. "_Please_ make me happy, and don't fight with me on this."

I blew out the gust of air I'd been holding in and predictably conceded. "Edward, you are dangerous, only because I can't say no to you. Promise me you won't overdo it."

He laughed lightly. "Yes, Bella. We'll only get the necessities."

Shopping in the store was a whirlwind. Edward went and spoke privately with a female salesperson who was only too willing to listen. I couldn't hear what he said, but he handed her something and walked back over to me.

"Bella, the saleswoman's name is Allyson. I'm going over to the men's section to grab a few things. Allyson is going to make sure you get everything you need, and I'll be back soon." He lowered his voice. "Then, we'll go out," he smiled. "Also, she thinks we're newlyweds, so you're still Bella Cullen, love." A part of me would be glad when we stopped the marriage charade. I liked when he talked to me like this just a little too much, and it was hard for me to keep telling myself that it probably didn't mean anything.

Edward left for the men's section while Allyson began fitting me with tons of clothes. I tried to object, but she wouldn't hear it. Clearly, Edward had left her with explicit directions. By the time we were done, I had a new suitcase, five new outfits, and everything else I could possibly need. She had also fitted me in a long, slender dress that was midnight blue; it was in preparation for my date with Edward. She handed me a white coat to match and smiled in satisfaction.

"So, that's your husband, huh?," she said as we finalized my outfit.

"Yes, it is." I felt self conscious but tried to play it off.

"He's…quite attractive, if I may say so. However did you meet?"

"He is attractive, but he's much more than that." It annoyed me that she was thinking about him like that. "We met in Atlanta through a friend." I left it at that, pretending to be distracted by shoes. Allyson could tell that I didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she quickly changed the subject.

Edward came in just as I had finished changing. He looked beyond dashing in a three-piece dark suit. It fit his muscular frame, making me tremble again. He had a small suitcase with him, as well. I swallowed and tried not to feel intimidated by his brilliance. I also pushed aside my doubts. For tonight, even if it was just this one night, he was mine. I was his wife. I would always remember this, no matter what happened once we reached Washington.

He looked at me, and he sucked in his breath. I immediately started blushing. All of his attention was on me as he walked over. I saw a brief flash of pain cross his features, but it was gone before I could address it. He smiled slowly and looked me up and down appreciatively.

"Well, Mrs. Cullen. You are the most stunning woman I've ever seen. How lovely," he murmured, reaching up to touch my hair. I had done the best I could to fix it in the store, and Allyson had pinned some of it back for me. "Absolutely exquisite."

Warmth filled me from head to toe at his touch, and I looked away. He lightly grabbed my chin. "No, Bella, look at me. You're far too beautiful, and I can't bear to have you look anywhere but at me."

Edward took my arm and pulled me to his side, telling me again that I looked beautiful. Hope took root in my heart. Maybe Edward did feel as strongly for me as I did for him. If not, then the universe was playing a cruel joke on my heart.

Dinner was fantastic, and Edward stared at me the whole time, oblivious to everyone else around us. That, of course, made me endlessly happy. He enjoyed ordering for me and watching me eat. I could tell that he was hiding his food, and he winked at me when he told the waiter that the food was delicious.

We talked more about our lives, focusing on the future this time. I told him of my interest in medicine, which is something we both shared. He inherited his interest from his father and had already taken courses at Harvard in the subject, although he admitted to not having the tolerance for blood. He cringed, and I couldn't help but laugh. I realized how excited I was to meet his father, who'd had such a profound influence on him.

Although dinner was wonderful, I couldn't help but think about the elephants in the room. What would happen in Tacoma? What were we doing? At one point, I tried to broach the subjects.

"Edward, we need to talk. I--"

"Bella, I know. But I really want to enjoy tonight with you. Let's talk later. There'll be time. I promise."

"Okay."

After our dinner, we went to use a telephone. Edward had been trying to reach his family for a couple of days but hadn't been able to get through.

He hung up, once again unsuccessful. "You can't reach them again?," I asked.

He furrowed his brow, clearly concerned. "No, I can't. It's weird. The hospital says that Carlisle has taken a few days off, which is unlike him. I'm sure everything is fine; I'm just surprised." He shook it off. "We'll know soon enough. Washington is just a few days away." He turned to me. "By the way, did I tell you that you look enchanting tonight?"

"Yes, you did."

"Good. Because you're breathtaking."

We went back to the depot and boarded the train that would take us to Tacoma. We found our cabin and dropped off our things. After a few minutes, the train began rumbling into the black night. I stared out the window, trying to make out shapes in the darkness. It was amazing to have this opportunity to see the country, and I didn't want to miss it.

As I looked out the window, I felt Edward come up behind me. It was always electricity when he was around, and I didn't need to turn around to know it was him. My breath caught in my throat as I waited for him to speak. Instead of speaking, Edward grabbed my forearm and spun me around to face him. He pulled me closer to him, so close that our chests almost touched. I definitely couldn't breathe noq.

"I have a surprise for you," he said huskily.

"O-okay," I stuttered.

Without another word, he picked me up and went out the back of the train, unnoticed into the night. I was about to panic, but before I knew it, we had stopped. We were on top of the train. Edward had his jacket and wrapped it around me, pulling me closer to him on the roof. It had been overcast, but some of the clouds were clearing and the moon was crescent-shaped in the southwest. The stars were dazzling. I felt like I was on a moonlit safari or a wagon ride. We were completely alone, just Edward, me and the sky.

"It's beautiful," I breathed.

"You're beautiful," he said in response.

We sat in silence for a moment until Edward whispered to me.

"I'm ready to answer your question now, Bella."

'What question?" I didn't remember asking one.

"I'm ready to tell you why I want to be here with you." He spoke quietly, tenderly. He was referring to the first night when we were on the train together, when we had argued.

"Tell me, then." I was eager and afraid all at the same time.

"I'm here because I can't stay away from you, Bella, even though I probably should. You're the most captivating and magnificent creature that I've ever met. You're brave and so kind." He paused, grabbing a strand of my hair. "I know this is unfair of me, to say these things, when I pose such a danger to you. But I can't help but tell you how I feel. Although your blood calls to me, there's something more, something that I don't know exactly how to describe. I've never experienced anything like this before. From the moment I've met you, it's been building. And I'm so ashamed, Bella. I'm ashamed by my nature, by the lust I feel for you that I shouldn't, and by the fact that I can't be sure that I won't kill you. If I ever did kill you, I would die with you, Bella. I would rather die than hurt you, and I'd rather die than stay away from you."

He hung his head, lost in the misery of his confession. I stared at him, trying to process his words. He… wanted… me. I could think of nothing else. I was overcome with emotion at the beauty of his words, of him. We would find a way, because I wanted him, too.

For the first time since we'd met, _I_ touched his glorious face, tilting his chin. I looked into his eyes, borrowing his words from earlier in the night.

"Edward Cullen, look at me. You're far too beautiful, and I can't bear to have you look anywhere but at me." I saw desire in his eyes, and I imagined it mirrored my own. Without thinking, I closed my eyes and leaned in to kiss him.

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	13. Chapter 13

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I sat on the rooftop of the train, waiting in anticipation for Bella's reaction to my confession. What had I done, admitting my feelings to her? As I sat there, I couldn't bear to look at her. What if she rejected me, as she should? I would let her speak first.

To my astonishment, Bella touched my face, pulling my eyes up to meet hers. I had touched her face before, but to have her fingers on mine was a first; it was ecstasy. She looked like a goddess in the moonlight. She also looked… overjoyed. With emotion burning in her chocolate eyes, she spoke.

"Edward Cullen, look at me. You're far too beautiful, and I can't bear to have you look anywhere but at me." Without thinking, she closed her eyes and leaned in to kiss me, her hand still on my face.

Bella wasn't running away after my confession. In fact, it was the opposite; she wanted to kiss me! For a moment, panic replaced the happiness that I felt. Bella was about to give me a kiss. Could I handle her scent and not harm her? I was surprised by another thought I had, one that I'd never imagined experiencing. I was _nervous_ to kiss Bella. What if I didn't please her? I'd never kissed a woman romantically before.

She was moved hesitantly towards me. I had been keeping my thirst at bay, but fire ripped through me now. She was so delicious and exposed, taking a chance by expressing herself this way. I could not deny her, and I didn't want to. My desire to keep her alive was greater than my thirst, but only just. Both of us needed to survive this. I cut off my breathing and decided to do my best to be an active participant. I would make our first kiss memorable, even if it burned me alive.

I took my hand and intertwined it in her hair, so that I could control the intensity of her lips on mine. I took my other hand and cupped her face, reveling in its silken texture, but I also did this out of an interest for control. Holding her like this, I could push her away if necessary. There was always the chance I would be overcome, and my thirst was a constant reminder of such a danger.

Bella seemed to be holding her breath, too, and I was thankful for that. She reached up with her other hand to wrap it around my neck, dropping the one that was on my face to my chest. I was completely lost in her seduction.

Finally, her lips met mine. Desire rocketed through my body as my lips burst into flames. I wanted more, could handle more. We kissed slowly at first but quickly accelerated into something more passionate. I pulled her face closer, intensifying the kiss. Her breath came out ragged, and she moaned against my mouth. I was in the throes of the kiss, out of my body, out of my mind.

We moved our lips hungrily together, both wanting more. I moved my other hand out of her hair to her waist, pulling our bodies closer. It occurred to me that I was making out with Bella. It was better than I'd ever dreamed.

"Do you want me to stop?," she breathed. She was so sexy. Was she deliberately tempting me? I thought so.

"No," I mumbled. My lips were still on hers, moving wildly.

She tried to deepen the kiss by sliding her tongue in between my lips. My body vibrated with need. I wanted to take it in my mouth but knew that such an act could be disastrous.

Instead, I moved my lips to the side of her neck and whispered in her ear. "Bella, you're going to be the death of both of us. You're giving me far too much credit." I kissed her neck, feeling her pulse beat wildly under my lips. I wanted to taste it. It was maddening.

She started kissing my cheek, the closest thing she could find to my lips. She planted kisses all along the side of my face and started running her fingers through my hair.

I breathed against her sultry skin and kissed her neck again; her pulse was becoming more and more frantic under my lips. Caught up in the moment, I let my tongue delicately touch her neck, tasting the skin. Pleasure and lust flashed hot white behind my eyelids. It was unbearable.

Bella moved her hands to my hair and pushed my face deeper into her neck. She wanted more. If I stayed at her neck a moment longer, I would surely come undone with both thirst and lust.

I realized my limits. Calling upon more strength than I knew I had, I pulled away from her. My breathing was erratic. "I can't Bella. We…need to…stop." They were the hardest words I had ever uttered.

She let me pull away but was thoroughly disappointed. "Are you sure?," she panted.

"Damn it, Bella," I growled. "I'm sure. Although trust me when I say that I've never wanted to keep doing anything more in my entire life."

"Really?" She seemed pleased.

"Yes, _really_. Are you insane? That was incredible." I wanted to ravage her; she looked irresistible and was all but glowing from our kiss.

"I'm glad it wasn't only me who thought so," she murmured. "When can we do it again?"

I laughed. "My control has been tested enough for one night. I'm sure you understand. I'm glad you liked it, though…"

"That's an understatement, Edward, to say that I merely _liked_ it." She shifted her weight. "Was it…painful for you? I'm sorry that I surprised you. I was overwhelmed." She looked down guiltily.

"You did surprise me, but I can't say that I minded. And yes, there was pain." I raised my eyebrows suggestively. "It was painful in ways that are totally inappropriate for me to discuss with you." I tried to keep it light; she didn't need to know how the pulse in her neck had nearly been the end of her.

"But we're married, Edward. You can tell your wife. You'll still be a gentleman," she teased.

"Hmm, Bella. How do I explain?" I inched closer, feeling her body heat rise again, tempting me all over again. "You are utterly irresistible, and I want to ravage you." A tremor went through her. "Am I still a gentleman now?" I kissed her hand before I spoke again, admiring the way her blue dress contrasted against her ivory skin. "But for now, it's in your best interests, and mine, if we don't explore that urge right now."

"Fair enough," she said, sighing. "As long as you don't regret it."

"You're still alive and so am I. No regrets."

We stayed on the rooftop a while longer, enjoying the sky and each other's company. I held her in my arms, keeping her safely on the roof. I refused to let myself think about the kiss, or else I would surely start it again. I needed to be in control while I held her, so I thought about something else.

"Bella, I told you why I wanted to be here with you. But you only kissed me, which could mean many things…" She immediately understood what I wanted to know.

"I guess I kind of showed you how I felt. Edward, I feel the same way as you do, and I can't help it. I don't _want_ to help it. I've never felt like this before about anyone or anything in my entire life. I don't want this life without you."

I kissed her softly and sweetly, totally in awe of her and what she now meant to me. I couldn't believe how much my life had changed in the course of a few short days. Even for my mind, it was too much to process. I couldn't turn away from her now. I had proven to myself that I could control my thirst if I took precautions, so I would make this work. It would just take all of the self restraint that I had.

Did I love Bella? I didn't think that love was a strong enough word for the appeal that she held for me. Perhaps Bella was my religion. I felt like I already worshiped her. Her blood tortured me, but wasn't suffering a necessary part of salvation? Maybe I _had_ to endure Bella's blood for the benefit of her companionship.

Bella and I held each other until I felt her start to drift to sleep. I glided back to our cabin, gave Bella a chaste kiss good night and watched her sleep, wondering about her dreams tonight.

After a few hours in the room with Bella, I decided that I needed to hunt. My eyes had changed imperceptibly darker, and I was taking chances. I knew that being with Bella would be much more difficult by the time we got to Washington if I didn't hunt now. Also, it seemed that my kissing session had used up some of my usual self-control. As I sat in the room, the burn was more intense than usual. I would have to ask Carlisle about that, cringing as I anticipated how embarrassing it would be for me to discuss kissing with my father. Maybe it was normal to need to hunt more frequently when in a physical relationship. It couldn't help things that I wanted her blood.

I jumped off of the train, knowing that I could easily catch up with it in a moment's time. Speed had always been another one of my fortes in this vampire life. I bounded off into the nearby wilderness, letting my senses take over as I searched for an appetizing scent. To my delight, I caught a whiff of a mountain lion to the northeast. The lion was large, almost as big as a human man… The memory of the human sent my throat burning. I used the lion to quench my thirst, but it was useless; human blood was so much better.

The animal blood mingled with the human blood in my veins, becoming the more dominant food source coursing through me. Mountain lion used to be my favorite, until the human. The scratching burn in my throat was still there, not nearly as muted as it had been the last time I'd hunted. _What did you expect, Edward? Of course human would be better, more satisfying._

I went back to the train and crept into our room. Bella was sleeping soundly, her scent clinging to the walls and filling the room with allure. Venom pooled in my mouth, and I swallowed it back. _Think around it, Edward. This is your Bella, not prey._ I took note of my body, realizing that it was slightly more difficult to be with Bella now that the human blood had been diluted with animal blood. The burn I felt reminded me of the first night I'd met her. I sat in the corner, breathing, forcing myself to get used to it. I would not hunt humans now, not when I had to face my father in a matter of hours. I didn't know how strong my resolve would be in the future, not when it seemed to make being with Bella easier.

The rest of the trip went by quickly. Bella and I played the role of newlyweds well, although we never had another kissing session quite as intense as the first one. I could tell that it disappointed her, but truth be told, I was worried about intensifying things between us before I could talk to Carlisle. The kissing on top of the train had been magic but totally unexpected. I couldn't risk doing that again, not yet. Bella was too important.

Once the train pulled into Washington, I tried calling the hospital one more time. They said that Carlisle was out on vacation for a few more days. Definitely bizarre. It was unlike Carlisle to be unavailable, especially when he knew of my situation in Atlanta.

Bella could see the worry on my face. "Still no luck?," she said.

I shook my head. "It isn't like him."

"I'm sorry. How far is your home from here? I'm sure there's an explanation."

Bella looked stunning in a pink dress, her dark hair spilling down her back. I controlled my newfound hormones before speaking. "By my method of travel, about ten minutes."

"Well, let's go figure out what's going on." She added with trepidation, "I hope they like me."

I pulled her close to me, ignoring the looks and thoughts of the people who stared at us. Bella was still my pretend wife. Let them think what they want. "Bella, they'll love you," I soothed. We had already talked at length about the topic of her likability the night before. "By the way, did I tell you how tempting you look today? It's practically a sin. Thank goodness you're still my wife for a few more hours, or I'd definitely be going to hell for what I'm thinking."

She blushed a color to match her dress. "You look pretty good yourself," she said grinning.

We took our time leaving the train station, enjoying our last moments as husband and wife. Maybe one day soon, I could make Bella my real wife. I fantasized about how wonderful life would be, how proud I'd be to have her on my arm, forever. I would show her the world. My thoughts turned bleak as I realized that I could never be the husband she deserved. That was another conversation I'd need to have with Carlisle.

Once we were alone, I took her onto my back and headed off to my home in Tacoma. I breathed in familiar scents and sights, realizing that I'd missed Washington. I imagined the shock on Rosalie's face when I walked up with Bella on my back. She would be upset, I'm sure, but she'd have to get over it. I missed my sister. Being away from her had made me appreciate her in ways that I hadn't thought possible. I thought about Esme, my mother. Her broken heart at my leaving still haunted me. She loved me more than I deserved. I missed Carlisle, too. How upset would he be when he saw my eyes? Although they were much more golden from my recent hunting trip, there was still something off about them. He would notice and ask. What would I say? If I told him the truth, would he ever truly forgive me? And what would he do if I decided to do it again?

As we approached the house, I listened for the thoughts of my family. Something was different, wrong. Carlisle was on the second floor of the house, thinking about morphine levels and feeling nervous. Rosalie was frantic, her thoughts practically incoherent. Esme worried about Rosalie, reassuring herself about the outcome of a situation I had yet to discern_. Rosalie is so much stronger than she gives herself credit for. Everything will be fine. I know it will work out. _Everyone in my family was preoccupied; they didn't even seem to sense my presence. What was the cause of this?

To my surprise, I realized that there was one other mind in the house. I tried to isolate it and make out its thoughts. I didn't recognize the voice at all. I moved closer to the house, trying to hear it more clearly.

I stood outside the door now, Bella quiet on my back. She sensed my tension and didn't dare move. Something kept me from opening the door. The mystery mind was unstable, confused and crazed with thirst. The thirst in the mind of the creature sent my own venom into a flurry, the need was so strong. Suddenly, the strange mind registered something delicious, something sweet and warm…it hunted the smell, thought of nothing else… My family's thoughts panicked, and in an instant, I sensed what was happening.

In less than a second, I was flying across the yard with Bella clinging to my back. As I turned around to face the house, a mass about twice my size charged through the door; the rest of my family was a few steps behind it. The mass was a man, perhaps a few years older than me, with blood red eyes. He was larger than George had been; he looked like a body builder crossed with a grizzly bear, all muscle and thirst. His eyes were single-mindedly focused on Bella, his thoughts pounding to the rhythm of her heart. He was going to kill my Bella. There was no reason in his thoughts; only thirst and death resided there.

"Emmett!," Rosalie screamed.

Instincts took over my body. Nothing was more important than protecting Bella. I would kill this Emmett; I saw no other option. In a movement faster than lightening, I sat Bella down and turned to face her attacker. This wouldn't be the first time that I had killed for Bella. As a violent growl escaped from deep within me, I lunged for the newborn's throat, determined to save my beloved.

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	14. Chapter 14

**This is a short but pivotal chapter. From here on out, we're into what I consider to be the second part of the story. There's a ton in store! I hope that you'll keep reading! On a sad note, I won't be updating as often. I've been updating every day, but now that school's starting, I'll probably update 2-4 times/week (every other day, hehe). I'm in my last semester of law school and will have to give that some of my attention. Who would've thought law school would take work? Ha. **

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The vampire named Emmett was immediately distracted from the hunt as I slammed into him, grabbing him by the throat. I could see in his mind that Bella's blood was no less important to him, but his instincts told him that he would have to dispose of me first. He decided he would kill me, and then drink Bella in peace.

Rosalie screamed again, but I barely noticed, and neither did Emmett. I was preoccupied with Emmett's thoughts, looking for my chance to destroy the towering vampire. He dove at me with a crushing grip, but I fell to his right and avoided it. I couldn't let him get a hold of me. I had to stay at his sides or attack from behind, lest he crush me to death. Newborns always relied on their enhanced strength, and Emmett had more than his fair share.

As I dove to the right, Emmett continued moving forward; he had barely seen me move. Although Emmett was strong, he didn't have my speed or ability to read minds. He was sorely mistaken if he thought I would be easily defeated by nothing more than brute strength. I whipped around and jumped on his back, using his body weight to slam him headfirst into the ground. His face and torso tunneled deep into the hard earth. Before he had a chance to react, I wrenched him from the ground and threw him as far away from Bella as I could.

"Esme!," I screamed, running for Emmett. "Get Bella out of here NOW!" In a flash, I saw Bella's surprise as Esme grabbed her and headed away from the house. I could smell her hot scent fading into the west, and a piece of me wanted to chase after her as badly as Emmett did.

I reached Emmett and danced around him in fluid motions, staying just outside of his grasp. He grew more and more frustrated, which was my goal; the more upset he was, the easier it would be for me to get the upper hand and finish him off. I dodged another one of his attacks and tasted victory. I was positioned perfectly; all I had to do was turn around and snap his head off.

I went in for the kill, avoiding his last futile efforts of attack. I gripped his hair and put my teeth on his neck. Then, something went horribly wrong. I felt someone's teeth on _my_ neck. Rosalie!

Her thoughts were desperate, but I hadn't paid attention to them as I'd fought to protect Bella. She screamed at me now: I was killing her beloved. She didn't want to hurt me, but she would fight for him. I saw the struggle in her mind. I saw how, after I'd left, she'd grown jealous of my freedom and lonely. She decided that she would take a few days to travel for herself, and that's when she'd found Emmett, hundreds of miles from home. He had been mauled by a bear and left for dead. In the most difficult act of her existence, Rosalie had endured the burn of his blood and carried him all the way back to Carlisle. I felt her dedication through her thoughts. With Emmett's heart barely beating, Carlisle changed him for Rosalie. And now I was going to kill him, and she would do her best to kill me.

Carlisle called to me aloud for the benefit of everyone to hear while also hoping that it would have more of an impact on me. My mind was clearly preoccupied. "Edward, stop. Bella is gone now with Esme. She is safe. Don't do this, son! Don't do this to Rosalie. Emmett is our family now; he is your brother, and you're about to tear us all apart."

I growled, listening to Emmett's thoughts. He had frozen, deciding not to fight after hearing Rosalie's pleas. I could see that he already loved Rosalie and didn't want to hurt her. With Bella's scent gone from the house, he'd regained his composure.

Bella was safe. My father was right. Almost inaudibly, I spoke to Rosalie. "Get off of me, and I'll get off of him."

"Do you promise, Edward?" I had never heard her so full of emotion before. She was on the verge of breaking down in her mind. Between carrying Emmett for hundreds of miles and then enduring his painful change, she was beside herself with anguish. And now this. It was too much.

"Yes. I'll stop."

Rosalie jumped off of me, and I off of Emmett. Rosalie faced Emmett with sorrow in her eyes. "I didn't want us to have to meet this way. I found you in the woods a few days ago. You'd been attacked by a bear." Her voice broke as she looked at him. "I'm sure you're confused. I'm so sorry. Carlisle will help explain…"

Emmett blinked his eyes, speaking to her. "Are you an angel?" I could see that Emmett thought Rosalie was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. I smirked. He and Rosalie would get along just fine.

Rosalie smiled despite herself. "No, not quite."

"What the---my throat burns like hell. I don't understand. I--." He was getting upset.

Carlisle stepped up cautiously, sensing Emmett's volatility. "You must have so many questions. Let's go back inside and discuss everything there. I'm Carlisle, and this is my son, Edward. You've met my daughter, Rosalie." Carlisle smiled kindly at Emmett's incredulous look. "We'll explain everything, I promise." Emmett looked at him, and then turned his eyes on me. He looked distrustful, so I put up my hands and smiled, trying to make peace. If he was going to be my new brother, I needed to play nice.

Rosalie took his arm to guide him into the house. I could hear the pleasure in his thoughts at her touch. It felt electric to him, and he wanted to be even closer to her. I laughed quietly, causing Rosalie to shoot me a questioning look. I raised an eyebrow, listening to the mutual attraction for Emmett in her mind. She figured out what I was thinking and looked like she would blush, if such a thing were possible. She gave me a threatening glare and went into the house. If only she knew how nonjudgmental I was being. I empathized more than she knew; I felt the exact same attraction to Bella.

"Carlisle," I called, "Wait. I need to find Bella."

"Esme took her to our home in Forks." _What is going on, son? I don't understand. _

I took a deep breath, preparing for a rush of speech. "I'll tell you the whole story later, but basically, some vampires in Atlanta found out about Bella and me. I headed back here for her safety. The leader of the coven, George, knows you, actually. I'm sad to report that I didn't make a very good impression on him." Carlisle looked dumbfounded. No reason to hold back on him now. "Oh, and I'm in love with Bella," I added. There was no easy way to say it.

Carlisle was taken aback, completely in shock. _You wanted to kill her a few days ago! How did you go from that to, to love? Is her scent no longer appealing to you, in that way? I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, son. I should've been there with you. _He pondered my confession. _Edward has never acted rashly about anything. I do believe that he loves her. _

"Don't blame yourself, Carlisle. You didn't fail me; there's nothing you could have done. And her blood is still…appealing, to say the least. But I do love her. I don't understand it, but I do. I just have to figure out a way around the difficulties of being with her." In that moment, I felt more sadness than I'd felt in my entire existence. Articulating the impossibility of the situation to my father made it all that more real. I couldn't pretend anymore. This was no longer Bella and I playing husband and wife. I was an immortal vampire, and she was a human.

Carlisle thought it before he could take it back. _You plan to change her…_

_Could_ I change Bella? If Bella loved me as much as she said, maybe she would want to be with me forever...it was a thought as tempting as her blood. I pushed it aside. I couldn't think about it; it was too selfish. "I won't take her life from her. I don't know what to do, but I won't change her into a monster. I could never forgive myself for being so selfish. I want her to _live_, Carlisle, with a heartbeat. She shouldn't have to die for me, just because I have a hard time resisting her blood." I felt disgusted with myself, especially because I didn't know if I meant it. It was be so easy if she were like me, if I didn't have to fight so hard to be with her...

_She will die one day._

I sighed. "I know that."

Carlisle's mind was flooded with questions, but there was no time for answers now. "Listen, Edward, I need to go and take care of Emmett. Go after Esme and Bella; I'll be fine here. Clearly, Bella can't be under the same roof as Emmett, and if he loses control again, someone needs to be here to help Rosalie. I think I'm more prepared for that task than Esme. The three of you should stay in Forks until we can figure this out. We'll discuss this as soon as we can." _Don't worry, son. You made it this far with her. You'll keep her safe, and we'll find answers soon enough. _

"Carlisle, do you think I'm wrong for…loving her?" I had to know how he felt.

_No, Edward. I think that we can't always choose who we love, and that Bella is lucky to have found you, just as you are lucky to have found her. You're not the monster that you think you are. _

Carlisle caught me in a fierce hug. _I've missed you, my son._ Without another word, he headed into the house to help Rosalie. I watched him disappear, hoping that he was right. I didn't want to be a monster. I followed Esme's scent into Forks, eager to return to Bella.

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**What will happen to Edward and Bella in Forks? Will Edward hunt humans or play it straight with animals? Will Bella change into a vampire? Who else will they meet on their journey? Review, and I'll write!!!! Yay! **


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry I took a little longer to update! I should have another update super soon. I've gotten so many nice messages, and it's been the reason why I stayed up late tonight to finish this. If I get a lot of reviews, I will get out another chapter in 24 hours time. I;ve missed updating a lot and interacting with you all. It's so much fun for me!  
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**A few housekeeping matters on the story. Pretty soon, there _may be_ some lemons (I've had Qs about that!). _If _the story takes that direction, then I am going to write the scenes in "T," and then write alternative chapters in "M." The M chapters will be posted as one shots, but those of you who know the story can easily read the one shot as a substitute to the chapter; it will fit. I hope that makes sense? You'll see...if it happens, haha. Only time will tell what the characters decide to do, but it's pretty clear that the tension is building! **

**Disclaimer: I Don't own Twilight. :( **

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Bella's scent pulled me forward to the house in Forks that I already knew so well. I flew through the forest, invisible with speed. Esme sensed my approach and spoke to me in her mind.

_Edward! Thank goodness you're alright. Are Rosalie and Emmett okay? What happened?… _Realizing that I couldn't answer her yet, Esme immediately switched her thoughts to give me an update on Bella._ Bella's seems okay, Edward. I thought she would be passed out by now but she's handling it well. I'm impressed, although I hate that she feels guilty about everything. It's not her fault._

I smiled despite my anxiety. Esme didn't know Bella yet. She was much more durable than she looked, and it was so _Bella_ to feel guilty about this. I wanted to take her into my arms and chide her for being so ridiculous. I also wanted to do other things to her, but now definitely wasn't the time to be thinking about _that_.

In Esme's thoughts, I could see Bella. She was fidgeting and impatiently twirling her hair around her fingers. Despite Bella's apparent nervousness, Esme felt relieved that Bella was at least calm for the moment. Initially, I saw that Bella had panicked and begged Esme to take her back to Tacoma. She'd apologized profusely for endangering us. I could see how sick with fear Bella had been. Eventually, Esme convinced her that I could take care of myself and would be fine. Since then, Bella had alternated between apologizing to Esme and monitoring the front door for my return.

I stood frozen with my hand clenched around the doorknob. Resisting Bella was definitely harder after my fight with Emmett. I breathed in Bella's intoxicating scent and clenched my jaw, trying to push back the onslaught of venom that was surging into my mouth. I was starting to believe my theory was correct; the more I physically exerted myself, the more of my blood supply I expended. With less blood in my system, Bella was harder to resist. I would need to hunt tonight.

I came through the front door and watched relief flood through Bella. Her beauty and scent obliterated my thoughts and weakened my knees. She jumped up and ran over to me, wrapping her arms tightly around my waist, sobbing into my chest. I gently rubbed her back and enjoyed the heat of her body against mine. I felt whole. My lips were tight from thirst, but I ignored it to comfort Bella.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. It's okay now. Don't cry. Sssh…"

"Edward," she wept, "I was so worried. I'm so sorry. What happened? Is…he? Your sister?" Her voice broke, and she buried her face back into my chest, mumbling. "Thank God you're okay, Edward…Thank God…"

I bent down and lightly kissed the top of her head. Her hair caressed my lips, and I could feel her hot tears dampen my shirt. It was hard to focus. "It's okay. We're together," I murmured into her hair. I looked at Esme over Bella's head, trying to keep myself centered while the fire ripped through me.

Esme watched our physical display, confusion spinning her thoughts. She was both shocked at and delighted by my intimacy with this girl. I had been alone and unhappy for so long, and all she'd ever wanted for me was companionship, the same that she had with Carlisle. She couldn't help but hope that this girl was it. Her thoughts were even further elated at the idea of Emmett and Rosalie together. What if both of her children had found love, and within a matter of weeks of one other? It would be beyond wonderful. However, her thoughts quickly turned to panic. Was Emmett dead?

_Edward,_ _what happened at the house?_

I couldn't answer. My body was still coursing with desire for Bella, and I wasn't quite centered enough for words at the moment. There was no way in hell that I would push her away when she was so upset. I would just have to get a grip.

Esme misinterpreted my tense silence to be about Emmett, and she assumed the worst. She thought that maybe I had killed him and now felt badly about it. If only she could know what I was thinking for once instead of the other way around. Truth be told, I would've killed Emmett without a second thought. I would never have regretted killing him, not when he had come so close to killing Bella. I wondered if Esme would think less of me if she knew that. How much different was I than my loving parents?

When I didn't answer her thoughts, Esme spoke, her voice thick with concern. "Edward, what happened?"

I pushed my heels into the ground and answered as normally as possible under the circumstances. "Emmett is fine. Once Bella was gone, he…composed himself. Rosalie was distraught and Emmett was disoriented, to say the least, but Carlisle convinced him to stay. I'm sure Carlisle and Rosalie are answering his questions as we speak. Thanks to Rosalie, he seems more than willing to stick around, if you know what I mean." I gave Esme a half smile, and she got my hint.

Esme collected her thoughts, and I anticipated her next question before she had to ask.

"Bella and I are going to stay in Forks while Carlisle stays with Rosalie and Emmett. You're welcome to stay with us, Esme, although I imagine you'll travel between the two houses often. We won't have any other way to communicate with the others. Bella and I will be fine."

Bella was still holding me, and I was still burning into oblivion. Esme finally recognized my pained expression as thirst and pondered my restraint. It was painful to embrace Bella, and she didn't understand why I was putting myself through such fire. It occurred to her that perhaps I loved Bella. She couldn't see another explanation for my willful endurance. Esme believed that I had found my soul mate in this unsuspecting girl, and she was thrilled all over again.

My relationship with Bella was more complicated than Esme acknowledged. I could handle the thirst for infinity if that was the only factor keeping me away from Bella, but there were other concerns that could no longer be ignored. For one, would I eventually have to change her? And if I did have to, was I condemning her to a life of eternal damnation? I didn't want her to feel the pain of bloodlust; she was too pure to suffer from such an affliction. If she stayed human, I couldn't help but wonder how many more times I would endanger her life. Was I destined to kill her, no matter how hard I tried?

Maybe I had been wrong and didn't love Bella. Loving her would mean that I would stay away from her, do what's best for her. What I felt for her was much more dangerous than love. I was obsessed. I was going to take her down with me if I didn't find a way to stop. Obsession and love were surely different, and I was failing to distinguish them in my heady state.

Even in the wake of my dismal realization, I couldn't help but hug her tighter. I reveled in her warmth and wanted it for myself, forever. It was a cruel joke that Bella was my salvation while I was her demise.

Against my will, I finally pulled away from her embrace. Bella could see the conflict raging behind my eyes and stepped back apologetically, assuming it was my thirst. For once, the thirst wasn't the problem. Instead, I was thinking about my recent dreams of marrying her and of how amazing it had been to call her my wife. How stupid I had been to think it possible! All of my dreams felt foolish now.

Esme continued to study my expression. _Do you need to hunt now?_ I must've looked as pained as I felt.

"Soon." I turned to Bella. "I'm sure you'd like to have a few moments to freshen up. It was a long train ride. There are accommodations upstairs, on the right." She gave me a confused look, picking up on the formality in my voice.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Bella…" I said disapprovingly. She didn't need to be brave right now. "It's alright. Take a few moments."

She looked into my eyes. I said nothing and met her gaze easily, waiting for her to go. When it was clear that I wasn't going to say anything further, she spoke coolly. "I'll be upstairs, then." With one more glance at me, she turned on her heel, her long hair swinging behind her. I wanted to follow after her and kiss her, but I needed to resist those urges now. I needed to keep my distance.

Esme spoke to me. "What's wrong?"_ It's okay, Edward. Everyone is fine now. _She noticed that my eyes were darker but, to my surprise, she didn't suspect anything sinister. My eyes just looked a dark golden thanks to the mountain lion, which must've been why Carlisle didn't scrutinize them too closely. The auburn tinge was nearly gone. _You can hunt now, if you want. I'll stay. _

"I'm fine, Esme. Listen, I didn't want to say this in front of Bella, because she already feels badly, but I think Carlisle could really use your help. Besides, I know Rosalie wants you. I'll be fine with Bella. I'm used to it now." I tried to look convincing. Having Esme here wasn't going to help matters. It just made me feel worse to hear her optimistic, loving thoughts when I was feeling so dark.

"Edward, do you at least want me to stay with her while you hunt?" _I don't think she wants to be alone, and what if she panics again? You should've seen her when you were gone…_

"I'll go after she falls asleep, which I imagine will be soon. She didn't sleep well on the train, and after this, I'm sure she's worn out."

I sensed her concession; she was going to leave. "Okay, Edward. I'll come back later tonight after I check in with Carlisle. Maybe you can hunt then."

"No need to rush."

Just then, Bella came back downstairs. Her limp was almost completely gone, and the bruise on her face had healed. She was radiant.

"Bella," Esme said, "I'm going to head back to the house to check on things. Please believe me when I say how nice it was to meet you. We'll get to know one another when the circumstances are a little better. In the meantime, you should get some rest, sweetheart."

"Thank you, Esme. It was nice to meet you, too. I'm so…sorry about earlier."

"Don't be. You handled the whole situation better than I would have." Esme smiled genuinely.

_I'll be back soon, Edward. _I acknowledged her thought with a slight nod.

Once Esme left, Bella and I stood apart in silence. It took all of my strength to stand there and not run to her. The physical attraction I felt for her was intensified by my deplorable thirst. I couldn't tell what I wanted more: to kiss her lips or to sink my teeth into her neck.

"Edward, what are you thinking?"

I laughed at the irony of her question. "That's my line, Bella."

"Are you angry?" She was standing there with her hands on her hips, totally adorable.

"Not in the way you think."

"Tell me, Edward. Tell me the truth."

When I said nothing, she sucked in a breath and walked over to me with a grin. I couldn't bring myself to turn away from her or tell her to stop. It was hard enough for me to stand there without running at her. _Edward, you're no good for her. You don't love her. You're obsessed._ _Remember that. _

Bella stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around my neck. I quaked with desire, involuntarily grabbing her around the waist to pull her closer. She breathed into my ear. "Tell me," she purred. "I know our marriage is over, but what happened to our honesty? Is that gone, too?" Maybe she was the dangerous one. I felt trapped by her magnetism.

I swallowed venom and spoke. "Bella, I'm thinking about how wrong I am for you."

She stopped breathing. I'd offended her.

"You're wrong," she said with quiet conviction. "I've never been happier than when I am with you. Doesn't that count for anything?" She paused, speaking in a compelling whisper against my neck. "Don't I get any say regarding what's best for me? And how do we always end up back here, anyway, having this discussion? You know how I feel."

I shivered. "Bella, you clearly don't know what's best for you. You're seducing a vampire. That kind of kills your credibility."

She laughed softly. The movement of her body caused my abs to flex with yearning, and I pulled her even tighter against my body. I was completely intoxicated and had no self control. What exactly had I been thinking before? Ah, yes…that I was no good for her, that I didn't love her and was obsessed. I tried to remember that now, but her body was just so distracting.

"I don't think I made a very good impression on your parents. I really wanted them to like me." She frowned.

"Extenuating circumstances intervened in that effort, Bella, but they more than like you. That's the least of our problems."

"What are out problems?," she asked seriously.

Before I could answer, I was surprised to hear Carlisle's and Esme's thoughts within a quarter mile of the house. They were heading toward Bella and me at an urgent pace. I could hear that Carlisle had been on his way to Forks to find us when he'd come upon Esme. It turns out that Emmett had tried to attack another human, a mailman, while we had been gone. Carlisle and Rosalie only succeeded in restraining him because he realized what he was doing, disgusted with himself. He and Rosalie were hunting now, and then they were leaving for Denali. There were less people in Denali due to the freezing climate, and we owned a secluded cabin a good distance outside of the town. Carlisle and Esme were going with them; Rosalie desperately needed their support. Bella and I would be alone in Forks.

"Bella, Carlisle and Esme are here. Something's happened."

Bella pulled away, causing me to groan in disappointment. "What happ--?," she began, but Carlisle and Esme entered before she could finish, their hair windblown.

Carlisle spoke. "Hello, Bella," he said kindly. "Edward, did you hear?"

"Yes. When do you think you'll return?" He was in a hurry, and I needed to get straight to the point.

"Once things are under control, Esme or I will come back. This is just all so unexpected. It will probably be a few weeks at the least." _Will you be okay, son? Do you need me? I want to be here for you, but Emmett is a danger to others right now, and it's my responsibility to monitor him. I was the one who changed him. I know we have so much to discuss." _

I gave him a reassuring smile. "We're fine. I'll show Bella around Forks. Go and help Emmett. You're doing the right thing." He didn't want to be away from Emmett right now, but he felt like he was abandoning me and possibly endangering Bella. "I can handle this, Carlisle," I added.

"Alright, son." Bella looked utterly confused, so he smiled at her. "Edward will explain everything, and we'll meet again soon." Bella nodded.

"Good luck," I said. After a few moments of rushed goodbyes, Bella and I were alone. I thought about Emmett. He better behave. If he hurt my family, then I may end up killing him yet.

Bella looked tired, her eyes unfocused from sleep deprivation. "Bella, I think you should sleep…" _before you seduce me again and I can't think straight,_ I almost added.

"Will you lay with me?," she asked sweetly.

I wanted to say yes. I wanted it more than anything, but I needed to hunt first. I needed to think clearly.

"I can't Bella, not yet. I…need to hunt." I hated admitting that to her.

"Oh, of course. Well, go and come back, then."

I laughed. "Let me show you to a room first and get you situated."

Once Bella was tucked in, she could barely keep her eyes open. I sat by her, humming a song to help her go to sleep.

There was no question that I needed to stay with Bella, at least until the Emmett situation was alleviated. I still had so many unresolved questions, and I was smart enough to know that I changed my feelings on the subject of Bella constantly. I was completely unstable. It seemed that whenever Bella touched me, I became a hormonal teenager and all my logic dissipated. Maybe I could use the next few weeks to figure out if I genuinely loved Bella or if I was just obsessed. It would be the perfect opportunity to figure everything out. There were other issues, as well. Technically, Bella was homeless. I needed to resolve that issue along with the enigma that was our relationship.

I needed the hunt to think clearly. Once Bella was asleep, I locked up the house and quietly went out the front door. I knew exactly what I wanted, and I knew the price I would pay to get it. It was the easiest way for me to be close to Bella. At the end of it all, Bella was the one temptation that I couldn't resist.

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**Much is on the horizon! Pls Review w/your thoughts, and I'll love you 4ever! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Hold on tight! Here we go into the next chapter! **

**Warning: there is an adult theme in this chapter, but I read the guidelines and don't think it's M...Just in case, beware that murder/child molestation is mentioned below.  
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**I don't own Twilight, but I do worship it like Edwards worships Bella (swoons). **

**Last note - If you want more, seriously keep reviewing! I feel like we're in the story together when you give me feedback. I don't want to post another chapter until I break 175 reviews! Can we do it? Of course we can!! Why? Because you love me, and I love you! Lol. **

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Seattle clubs were letting out for the evening as I lurked in the shadows. It felt like Atlanta all over again, except that I was closer to home. I had been on the hunt for hours and was beyond impatient. I kept my head down, questioning my hunting approach. I'm sure there were plenty of evil men that _didn't_ go to bars. Did those men not deserve justice? From what I could tell, it seemed like predators tended to drink alcohol, or at least look for victims in an already weakened state of intoxication. Even still, I felt a little guilty prowling exclusively for the inebriated.

Alcohol was actually illegal, but the places I went to weren't deterred from selling it. It wasn't hard to make bootleg whiskey, especially up north. Even the police appreciated some scotch or whiskey after a cold, northern day. In the darkness of the depression, alcohol was all but a staple in the American diet. I had tried it once out of curiosity, wondering if it would have an effect on me. I had tried it a few years ago, when I was struggling to escape the thoughts around me and first contemplating leaving. Unfortunately, my venom burned it off before it could take effect. It was too bad; I would've enjoyed spending a few decades in a drunken stupor.

I walked into the bar, scanning the thoughts of patrons. My options were bleak. I was going to have to change my definition of evil and pick a victim, or else I was going to have to find some elk and call it a night. I just kept remembering the way that the human blood had coated my throat and muted the burn. I also remembered the strength that came along with it… NO! I wouldn't kill an innocent. I could never look at my father again if I did that, nor could I face Bella with any dignity. By draining evil, I was doing God's work and earning Bella. If I killed innocent, I was surely a monster.

I strode back outside and walked down the street. Up ahead, there was a group of four men leaning against the wall of a building. They saw me coming and started chortling. I should've worn more low-key clothing to fit into the area. Their collective thoughts were aggressive.

_Look at preppie boy. Looks like he missed the turn for Hollywood, ha ha. _

_The faggot has money, that's for sure. Where's his daddy? I bet Daddy bought him that jacket. _

_I wonder how many chicks he's slept with? He's probably a playboy. Looks like the playboy needs a lesson in what part of a town he belongs in. _

I ignored their thoughts and walked by. I was used to jealousy and male bravado; it was an inescapable part of the human condition. It used to upset me enough to keep me indoors, but I didn't let it get to me as much anymore. I didn't have the time now that I was always consumed with thoughts of Bella.

Their thoughts escalated as I got closer, and they whispered to each other. They were going to jump me. Normally, humans knew to stay away from us, but every now and then, their instincts failed them. Maybe that was Bella's problem? Her instincts were wired wrong. That could be even more of a reason to stay with her, I thought happily. Maybe I was _supposed_ to obsessively watch over her and protect her. I'd be fine with that.

I was closer to the group of men, and they were getting braver. They wanted more whiskey and figured I'd be loaded. I laughed. They were right in more ways than one.

"What's so funny, pretty boy?"

"Nothing," I said sternly. I decided to cross the street, annoyed. They were interfering with my Bella thoughts.

"Hey, where're you going? You scared?," he said mockingly. "You should be, punk. You're lost." They started following after me.

In exactly three seconds, one of them was going to grab my shoulder, and I couldn't let that happen. I had grown too impatient, too thirsty, exercised too much restraint for Bella. This guy wasn't worth the energy it would take to spare his life, and I knew he could easily become my next meal if I wasn't careful. I would surely feel his pulse through my jacket, beating against my shoulder. It would be spiking from adrenaline; I could already smell that. Venom pooled in my mouth. Frenzied blood tasted the best. It was warmer and laced with excitement.

I ducked his hand and spun around to face them. I had no patience and tried my hardest to maintain control. Control was the bane of my existence, I thought bitterly. There wasn't a moment among humans that didn't require my utmost restraint. Unlike these men, at least Bella was worth it.

"Gentleman, I see you've been drinking this evening. What can I help you with?" I spoke between my teeth, fighting back the words I really wanted to say. I would try to do this politely.

The bigger and drunker of the men spoke first. "Hey faggot, you want to help me?" They all laughed. "Why don't you give me your fancy jacket and wallet? That would help _me_. I don't know about my friends here."

The guy's thoughts were aggressive but clouded with alcohol. As much as I wished differently, he wasn't evil enough to kill. Their pulses pounded into me, but I ignored the temptation. I wouldn't hurt these stupid men, but damned if I didn't teach them a lesson.

When I didn't give up my wallet or jacket, the guy went to shove me. In a rather dramatic move, I knelt into his stomach and flipped him over my shoulders. The move required me to barely touch him, which was for the best. He hit the ground on his back, and the wind was knocked out of him. "What…the…hell?," he panted. I stood unscathed, fighting back laughter. He looked hilarious lying on his back like that.

His friends were wide-eyed and actually thinking about leaving for a moment, but it was too late for that. Male bravado wouldn't allow it.

"Hey, asshole, you think that's funny?" Another one of the men lunged at me, swinging with his left hand. If I let him connect with my jaw like he wanted, it would probably break his hand, and I didn't really want to break their bones. I listened to his thoughts, and decided to scare him a little.

I grabbed his arm as it swung, stopping it in midair. He couldn't move and looked shocked. I spoke menacingly. "You don't want to do that, Kevin. Think of how mad Kristen will be if she has to pick you up from the hospital. Trust me. I _will_ put you there if you continue," I spat, all the while tightening my grip on his arm. He winced. "If I were you, I'd sober up and get home."

He didn't understand how I knew him and his girlfriend, but the look in my eyes kept him from asking. I could see the terror in his thoughts, and I smiled despite myself. I felt like a school boy with Bella all of the time, so it was good to know that I hadn't totally lost my frightening edge.

I released his arm and shoved him onto the pavement. He stumbled and picked himself up, crossing the street immediately. "I'm getting the hell out of here. That guy's crazy." The man I'd first knocked down was crawling toward his friends, still wheezing.

The remaining two guys looked at me, both rethinking their brilliant plan. Their friends were bigger than them, and I'd stopped them without any effort. They thought that maybe I knew some rare karate or something. They began backing off.

"If there's nothing else I can do for you," I said, "I'll just be on my way now." I smiled. "This was fun. We should do it again sometime." I walked away laughing.

My amusement at the men faded as I realized that it was already 2:00AM. I needed to figure something out fast. I walked through Seattle, hoping to stumble on someone worthy of death. My confrontation with the men had made me even more eager. I wanted to really let loose on something deserving of my wrath. Most importantly, I wanted to return to Bella without wretched thirst clouding my every thought.

My luck changed when I walking along the docks. There was a man in his late-forties staring out into the ocean, thinking about his recent arrival in Seattle. The man was heavy-set with thinning hair and small eyes. He had come from New York; his cover story was that he moved here for a job but, in truth, he came here to escape a police investigation. He was a prime suspect in the murder of an uptown family. The police had almost ruled out the man's involvement, and he decided to leave before having to face further scrutiny. The family had been burned in their apartment, and it had been all over the local newswire for the past several weeks.

The man was guilty. He had known the husband and his wife through work, and he had grown to fancy their young son. After several weeks of thinking about the boy, the man had devised a plan to act on his twisted fantasies. I could see it all in his mind. He'd snuck into the family's house one evening and raped the boy while the mother knitted in the other room. The boy had been hurt in the sickening act and was crying. He suffocated the boy to shut him up, but the mother caught him. He then strangled her to cover his tracks. He sat in the apartment for two hours with the cooling bodies, waiting for the husband to come home. When the husband finally arrived, he attacked him with a fire poker, killing him. After everyone was dead, the man set the apartment on fire. He tried to make it look like arson, but the autopsy reports had revealed other causes of death, so an investigation ensued.

The man could still remember the boy's screams. The boy's name had been Tommy, and he was small compared to other seven year olds. The memories pleased the man, but he tried to put that behind him now and focus on starting anew in Seattle…

Reliving the man's thoughts almost brought me to my knees in anguish. The poor family, the helpless boy, the way they struggled to live... I sucked in the cool night air and tried to block out the man's memories. They were beyond repulsive; I didn't need to hear anymore but couldn't stop them from invading my mind.

I walked over to the man and leaned against the railing, staring out into the ocean with him. He looked at me, startled, and then spoke abruptly. "Excuse me, young man. It's late. I didn't see you there." I was interrupting his horrid memories; I definitely didn't care.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?," I asked softly.

"What, the ocean? Yes, I suppose…" He was agitated and thought I was a little crazy.

"Tommy would've liked to see it." The man instantly froze and looked at me with disbelief. I continued to speak casually. "His eyes were as blue as the ocean. We both know he got his eyes from his mother. His father's eyes were hazel."

The man froze. I could all but see the emotions play out in his thoughts. Shock. Fear. Confusion. More fear.

"Who are you?" The man could barely speak. "I don't know who, or wh-what, you're talking about." I could hear his heart rate accelerate and smell the blood in his veins. I would change all of that soon enough.

"Yes, you do," I said matter-of-factly. "And now you're going to suffer just like Tommy and his family did." It was ironic, really. The man would've been far safer if he'd stayed in New York. It was fate that brought him to me.

Without another word, I grabbed the man and pulled him down to the shore far below the dock. It was impossible to get to the area without a boat, and no one was around, anyway. We would have privacy here. I covered the man's nose and mouth, feeling him gasp against my cold hand. I whispered to him. "Tommy died like this. How does it feel to die?" He struggled for air against my strength, but his efforts were futile.

When he was almost passed out from suffocation, I let him breathe. He sucked in a breath to scream, but I cut it off by tightening my hands around his throat. The blood rushed out from underneath the pressure I was applying. After almost a whole minute, I unclenched my hands, and the blood started surging back into his neck. I wanted him to feel this. I wanted to hear him scream.

I lowered my mouth to his neck and broke his skin. He screamed into the night, but his cries were lost in the sound of the crashing waves. I began feverishly drinking, enjoying how the screams raised his blood pressure and made the heat flow even quicker into the artery. His thoughts were no longer perverse but full of the pain and fear that Tommy had felt. He had been a predator of the worst kind, and now he was the prey. The world was meant to work this way; it was poetry in motion.

I let the blood warm me and flow into every crevice of my being. My muscles felt stronger, my mind sharper. It was as wonderful, if not better, than the first time I had drank human blood. This man was older than the first one had been. The blood was different from the age; it was more full-bodied. I thought that perhaps it was comparable to having a bottle of fine wine.

I finished him off greedily and left him to float in the water. His body and thoughts were still, his heart having beat its last beat just moments ago. I, however, felt alive. I hoped that God would approve of my avenging Tommy and his family's premature deaths. I hoped that it would earn me even more time with Bella.

I ghosted back to Forks and entered my house silently. It was nearly 4:00am by the time I took a seat in Bella's room. I breathed in her staggering scent, but the burn was muted compared to the usual fire that crippled me in her presence. The human blood didn't disappoint.

I used the freedom from the fire to focus on the other feelings I felt for her. Without thirst skewing my vision, I could experience the raw attraction that I felt for Bella. Putting her blood aside, she really was breathtaking. Her subtle curves begged for me to touch them, and I wanted to run my fingers over the full shape of her lips. She was perfection and, at least for now, she wanted me.

I thought about other things that attracted me to her. She had endured so much heartache but didn't let it deter her from finding happiness. In spite of fear of the unknown, ambition and backbone had brought Bella to Atlanta to seek a better life. Although she was the most fragile creature I had ever seen, her determination made her one of the strongest I had ever seen, as well. She was a rare breed of beauty and courage. I laughed at the fact that she had a vampire for a boyfriend. I didn't know many girls who could overlook _that_, but Bella could, and did.

As I sat in Bella's room satiated from my thirst, it was clear that I loved her, wanted her, obsessed over her, worshiped her, all at one time. It was impossible to sift out the emotions I felt for her. I would stop splitting hairs. Although acknowledging my love didn't make our predicament any less complicated, it gave me much-needed clarity. I would start giving Bella more credit in the future. She had a fire in her, too, one that I couldn't deny. Being with me was dangerous, but if I had learned anything, the real world wasn't much better.

Tomorrow, I would spend time with Bella. We hadn't had any time to just _be_ together. From the day we'd met, it's been under the most impossible of circumstances. Over the next few weeks, she could get to know me better, and then she could decide if she wanted to be with me the way that I wanted to be with her.

Thankfully, I had my favorite toy parked in the garage. For Christmas, Esme and Carlisle had given me a limited edition Tatra 80 sports car. To call it fast was an understatement. It was a convertible made for diplomats, and only 25 had been produced last year. Carlisle and Esme knew of my love for fast things, and they had gotten it for me, hoping it would entice me to stay. It hadn't, but I would enjoy it now. I imagined how stunning Bella would look with the wind whipping around her face as we drove hand in hand. I couldn't wait.

I promised myself that I would deal with the consequences later. Time was on my side, and nothing else mattered more than Bella.

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**Thank you for reading, fellow fans! No one understands us as much as we understand eachother, hehe. Review, Review! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the reviews!!! You are the reason I write. I know I say it a lot, but I MEAN it. Review for more. ilu!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and the characters belong to S Meyer. **

**Also, please excuse any typos. By the time I finish a chapter and read it over, I am almost blind from typing. I may need a beta. PM me with info about that, if you know anything. I need to learn. Oh, and also excuse my Radiohead indulgence, but the lyrics fit to me. I was listening to this song on repeat when I wrote some of this chapter.  
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"_I'm not living  
I'm just killing time  
Your tiny hands  
Your crazy kitten smile  
Just don't leave  
Don't leave…"_

_- Radiohead, True Love Waits_

It was early morning, and I had grown desensitized enough to Bella's scent to gently lie down beside her on the bed. I stayed above the covers, so as to be polite and not get her cold. She looked peaceful, which relieved me to no end. I was afraid that she would have nightmares after Emmett's attack. I wanted to hold her and trace the contours of her face, but I didn't dare wake her. Instead, I settled on my side and waited for her to awake, enjoying the way that her body rose and fell with each breath.

After about an hour of my adoration, Bella stretched and rubbed her eyes lazily. I smiled at how beautiful she looked. Her cheeks were rosy and her hair was knotted around her face. She opened her eyes and gasped when she saw me casually lying next to her.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," I murmured. "I hope I'm not being too forward by lying here like this. I kept my hands to myself." I gave her a crooked grin. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept well, thank you. And, I don't doubt your virtue, Edward," she said with a yawn. "I'd ask how you slept, but…," she trailed off with a smile.

"Hmm. You can still ask. To answer your question, I had a nice view, so it was quite enjoyable." My voice sounded rougher than normal, almost as if I _had_ been sleeping like Bella. Maybe it sounded deeper from the reverence that I felt for her. She looked like an angel, her ivory complexion contrasting with her brown eyes and long lashes. She had a small smile on her lips, and the white comforter accentuated her chestnut hair. She was a vision, better than the finest art I'd ever seen.

I was too tempted to resist, so I decided to do what I had been fantasizing about doing for the better half of the morning. With deliberate caution, I leaned in, watching her catch her breath. Her heart pounded, and I brushed away some of her hair as I gently kissed her. I felt her blush spread to my lips like wildfire, so I pulled away and chuckled. Bella still had her eyes closed with an expectant look on her face.

"You can do that again, if you'd like," she said without opening her eyes. I wanted nothing more than to oblige her, so I gave her another kiss, letting my lips linger on hers for a moment longer. When I eventually pulled away again, she sighed in disappointment.

"Bella, nothing would give me more pleasure than to lie in bed with you all day," I said sweetly, "but I've planned a day for us. I want to show you around Forks."

"I want to explore, but wouldn't you rather spend the day in bed?," she said demurely. "That sounds like more fun." She scooted closer to me as she spoke, closing the distance between us. She brought her hand up to stroke my cheek, and I was immobilized with yearning. She moved her hand to caress underneath my eye, and I rumbled from the back of my throat; her touch was so warm and inviting.

"You're testing my restraint," I said huskily. While it was true, I was tempted in a completely non-vampire way. I knew that I was in complete control of my baser hungers right now. It was fantastic to be able to endure her touch and feel its pleasure. I wanted more…

She continued to stroke my cheek. "Edward, I assume you…ate?" She was remembering the night before, when I'd refused to lay with her until after I'd hunted.

"Yes." I didn't want to talk about hunting with Bella.

"Your eyes…sometimes they're topaz, and then now they're almost amber." She looked down shyly. "What do the changes mean, exactly? I never really understood before. I want to know what to look for, to understand better…"

I wasn't prepared to give her an honest answer, not yet. I wanted to deal with consequences later, and having this conversation would mean confronting issues that I hadn't totally worked out yet.

When Bella saw my hesitancy, she spoke in a rush. "Edward, we don't have to talk about it right now. Honestly, I just want to be with you. It's just, well, if there's a way for me to know what to look for, well, I want to help." Her sweet breath washed over me as she talked, and I couldn't help but breathe it in. If I could bottle it, I would.

"No, it's just difficult for me to talk about hunting." That much was true. "I don't mind you asking. You can ask me anything; I just can't always guarantee a satisfactory answer, but I promise to try." I took a deep breath before continuing. "The darker my eyes are, the longer it's been since I've hunted. The color you see now, as well as any color lighter than this, means that it's…easier to be with you." I shrugged, not knowing what more I was willing to say.

"Okay. Good to know. Thank you." She smiled and went back to stroking my cheek. I wrapped my arm around her waist and drew her closer. I wanted her all over me. I breathed in her hair and kissed her cheek, feeling electricity surge through me.

She cleared her throat and pushed me away. Did I offend her? What did I do wrong? I frowned.

She looked at me with a guilty expression. "Um, I need a human minute. Is that okay? I'll be right back, though. Don't move!" She gave me her best authoritative look, which made me laugh.

"Hurry back, then." I kept my hands on her until the last possible minute. She struggled to get out from under the covers, so I helped, laughing. She gave me a murderous look for laughing, but I was too distracted by her bare legs to apologize. The bruises were almost gone, and she looked mouth-watering in more ways than one. I would be glad when the bruises were entirely gone.

"You're so beautiful," I said sincerely.

She rolled her eyes and hit my shoulder playfully. "I'm sure."

I looked at her curiously, wondering what she meant by that. She must know the effect she had on me! If she didn't already know, then I would make sure to show her whenever possible. I thought it was obvious.

She skipped to the bathroom, so I moved onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I felt…impatient. That wasn't all of it; I felt something else, too. I was…aroused. I groaned. If I didn't get out of this bed now and take Bella out of here, I would probably do things to her that I would regret later. I didn't want to do anything indecent with her, at least not yet, and neither of us could be trusted to act chaste while alone on this bed. I didn't know what would happen if we were too…intimate. It was one of the many embarrassing questions I had for Carlisle.

Further, I wanted to court her properly. We may have been the antithesis of conventional, but she still deserved to be won over the right way. My mind started wondering back to Bella's bare legs, so I jumped up before I got carried away.

When she came out of the bathroom, she frowned. "I told you not to move!"

"I'm sorry," I said apologetically, "but I really do want to show you around. And, when's the last time you've eaten? There's a great little café in Forks. I want to take you there for lunch."

"Hmm, alright." She accepted my offer, looking glum.

"Bella, we have at least a few weeks to be together, just you and me. Trust me, you'll get sick of me in no time. You'll be begging to go out and get away from me," I teased.

She looked me up and down with a coy smile. I felt self conscious and wished I could read her mind. I hoped she liked what she saw. Finally, she spoke, chuckling at my expression. "I'm pretty sure it's impossible to get sick of you. I'm more concerned about having to _share_ you. You're quite distracting in public settings."

"What do you mean?," I asked innocently. I felt immensely happy at the fact that Bella was flirting with me. It was beyond flattering coming from such a breathtaking creature.

"Edward, seriously, you have to ask?," she asked in disbelief. 'It's not like you can't read the thoughts of every woman who sees you. She waved a hand at me and looked embarrassed. "It's hardly a secret, how attractive you are."

I smiled seductively. Bella finding me attractive was thrilling. With most women, it annoyed me. With Bella, I wanted her to fantasize about me, the way that I fantasized about her. As she stood there embarrassed, I walked over, trying to smolder her with my eyes. It worked, because she stopped breathing and turned a lovely pink. God, I loved her.

"Bella, darling," I coaxed. I reached under her hair to caress the nape of her neck. "That's quite a compliment coming from you. You are the very definition of attraction." I slid my hand around to the small of her back and under her shirt, running my fingers up her spine. Her skin was irresistible, and I felt her go weak under my touch. "Besides, I barely hear anyone else when I'm with you. You're far too distracting."

She didn't answer, so I bent down to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pushed me into her. I felt on fire as she attempted to deepen our kiss. When I didn't acquiesce, she gently bit my lower lip.

"Bella, be good," I breathed. Instead of answering my plea, she put her hand under my shirt and ran her fingers over my stomach. My muscles flexed involuntarily.

"That's not what I meant," I gasped. She needed to stop this torture before I marched her back to the bed and risked both of our well beings.

For once, she pulled away, looking smug. "Fine, let's go. Show me Forks." She enjoyed seeing how wrecked I was.

"You're pure evil, Bella. I swear to God. Vampires have nothing on you." I joined in with her musical laugh. It was one of my favorite sounds.

I went into my bedroom and grabbed the keys to the Tatra while she finished getting ready. I couldn't wait to get behind the wheel and show Bella around.

We met downstairs, and I grabbed her hand. I couldn't resist touching her. It burned less and less. "How are we getting around today?," she asked. "Are we walking?"

"No, silly, we're driving."

"In what? A car?"

"Yes, I have quite a few cars, actually. It's a hobby of mine." I corrected myself. "Actually, it's a hobby of Rosalie's, but I enjoy the fruits of her labor."

"Rosalie fixes up cars?" Bella was dumbfounded. I could see how it was hard to imagine Rosalie under a car.

"Yeah, she loves it. She's a real motorhead." I laughed. Rosalie was either in front of a mirror or underneath a car. "She even designs vehicle prototypes, although she keeps them to herself."

I wondered how Rosalie was doing. I had never seen her so distraught, and I fervently hoped that everything was working out with Emmett. The newborn years were the hardest, especially the first month. I cringed from the memories of it. It was similar to how Bella smelled, but maybe a little worse. At least I had years of practiced control to help with Bella. Newborns were completely disoriented and undisciplined; they had no perspective.

We walked into the garage, and Bella gasped. "What is that car?"

The Tatra looked shiny and perfect, just as I'd left it. I started putting the top down, so that we could enjoy the weather. Forks never disappointed with its cloud cover, and it didn't look like it would rain today. Bella still didn't know about my 'sunshine issue.' I had been lucky and hadn't needed to discuss it with her yet. I wondered if it would scare her. Knowing Bella, she wouldn't even be fazed by it.

"It was a Christmas gift," I said simply. "I haven't been able to properly enjoy it yet."

She shook her head mournfully.

"What, Bella?" She was such a mystery, and I had no idea what could be bothering her. I'd hoped she would like the car.

"It's bad enough to have to feel inadequate next to you, and now I have to drive around in this car!"

I scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. You put the car to shame. Now get in before I change my mind and decide to keep you prisoner in the house all day," I said suggestively.

"Anytime," she smiled a dazzling smile. I caught my breath, blown away for the millionth time this morning by her beauty. She looked elegant in a deep blue blouse and pencil skirt, her soft skin glowing despite the overcast sky. Her hair was curling from the humidity and it fell down her back in loose ringlets.

"Beautiful," I murmured again as I stared at her.

She blushed. "Let's go, Edward."

Bella was every bit as lovely as I'd imagined with the wind blowing her hair. I held her hand as she eagerly took in the green expanse of the forest flying by around us. She didn't want to miss anything.

I slowed as we headed into town. It was a Saturday, which explained why there was so much activity in the typically dull downtown of Forks. People were bustling in and out of the shops and families were picnicking in the town's central park. People stopped to watch us drive by and park. I could hear some of their thoughts as they recognized me.

_Edward Cullen? It can't be? Is he in town visiting from college? _

_Wow, is it possible that Edward is more good looking? Who is that girl with him? _

"_Oh my, that has to be a Cullen. I wonder if Betty knew they're coming to town. That car is so gaudy! They don't make those in Washington. It has to be European. _

Their thoughts continued on in this manner, and I tried to tune them out. My last stint in high school had been right here in Forks. Rosalie and I had pretended to be siblings, and we kept to ourselves as much as possible, although it was impossible to totally isolate yourself in such a small town. We stayed at Forks High School for our junior and senior years, both pretending to go off to college afterward. In actuality, we all went to Tacoma, because Esme loved Washington so much and didn't want to leave. It wasn't too long afterward that I'd left my family to go on my own. I hadn't been back to Forks in over a year.

I opened Bella's door and helped her out of the car. Everyone was staring. She felt a little self conscious, I could tell, so I squeezed her hand and tried to distract her.

"Do you know I went to high school here?"

"What? When?," she asked.

"I graduated a year ago. If anyone asks, I've been away at college." I winked at her.

"Why were you in high school?"

"It's easier that way, for Carlisle and Esme. We can stay in places for a longer period of time, and it gives Rosalie and I something to do. It's boring, though."

"What college are you going to? I should probably know that, in case someone asks."

"Hmm, Harvard. You and I met there in class, and I've brought you back to meet my parents and show you where I went to high school. We're dating, unless you want to be my betrothed again…" I wagged my eyebrows at her.

She stopped suddenly. "Wait, so I get to pretend to go to Harvard?" She seemed overjoyed at the charade. I saw how much she loved the idea of being in college, and I remembered her ambition to study medicine. It gave me an idea.

"You know, Bella," I said softly, "I can take you there. We could enroll. I've wanted another degree. I haven't studied Biochemistry and meant to go back for it." I anxiously gauged her reaction. We hadn't discussed our future yet.

She was speechless, but I couldn't tell why. Was I being too forward? Before I could ask, she spoke, looking as if she might cry. "Edward, I couldn't let you do that. You're too kind. It's expensive, and I'd never get accepted. I--." She didn't finish and looked down.

I stopped walking and turned her towards me, ignoring the people on the street. "Look at me, Bella." I lifted her chin, demanding her gaze. "I want to make you happy. I know it's a lot to ask, and it's presumptuous of me, but I, I want to find a way to be with you. I want to give you everything. As long as you'll let me, I want to." It was hard to admit it, to be so honest, but I meant every word.

"Why?," she choked out.

I didn't understand her question. It occurred to me; maybe she didn't realize that I loved her. I decided that now was as good a time as ever to bare my soul. If she rejected my love, I would deal with it.

"Because Bella, I-- …"

"Edward Cullen, OH MY GOD! Are you back in town? Where's your sister?" I wanted to punch the voice that interrupted my confession. An annoyed look crossed my face, and Bella looked disappointed by the interruption. I wanted to tell Bella that I loved her, but instead, I gazed at her for a moment longer and begrudgingly turned to address the voice. I already knew who it was. I could hear her incessant fantasies, and it was all too familiar from my high school days. It was Jessica Stanley.

"Jessica," I said as warmly as I could muster. Annoyed by her fantasies, I decided to ask about her boyfriend. Hopefully, that would stop her. "Where's Mike?"

She frowned, unhappy by both my question and by my companion. She sized Bella up before answering. "Mike and I broke up recently. We're still friends. In fact, we're having lunch at the café. What are you doing?" _She's pretty, but I think I have better boobs. Why is Edward with her? Maybe it's a cousin or something. _

"We were actually doing the same. Excuse me for being rude. Jessica, this is Bella, Bella, this is Jessica."

"Nice to meet you," Bella said sincerely.

"You, too," Jessica responded, barely hiding her rude thoughts. _Bella, huh? What a stupid name. _

Jessica turned her attention back to me. "So, are you back from college? Isn't it the middle of the semester?" _Please be back, please be back…._ "You should join us for lunch! Eric and Angela are with us, too!" _Please have lunch with us. Mike would be so jealous if I walked in with you. He would die! _

I could barely remember who those people were, and the last thing I wanted to do was share Bella with them. I also didn't want to subject myself to Jessica's relentless flirting. "My classes finished early. Bella and I were actually ordering something to go, but thanks for the offer. We're picnicking." I reached for Bella's hand and gave it a squeeze, hoping Jessica noticed.

She did and tried to hide her disappointment. _I wonder why he's holding her hand. They can't be together! Edward doesn't date anyone! Why would it be her? I bet I still have a chance… _ I chuckled. I guess I had to admire her persistence.

"Well, will you at least go to the football game tonight?," she asked hopefully. "Tons of alum are going, practically the whole town! You have to go! Everyone will be so excited to see you, and we're having carnival rides. I'm on the committee."

I started to decline, but Bella spoke up. "_We'll _be there," she emphasized. "It sounds like fun. And Edward, you haven't seen your friends. I don't mind going." She shot me a sideways glance, and I had to resist rolling my eyes. If only Bella knew how much I despised these people. I hated high school and had looked forward to never seeing any of them again. At least Bella would be there with me. Otherwise, it would have been a nightmare.

"Cool!," Jessica exclaimed. "Well, you should at least come in and say hello to everyone. They'll never believe that I saw you, not in a million years."

We walked into the café to place our order, and everyone turned to stare. Yes, it was official; everyone was shocked to see me back in Forks. If I would've anticipated this attention, I would've taken Bella up on her offer to stay in bed all day. It was irritating.

Bella heard me groan, and she bit back a smile. I could almost hear her saying "I told you so." I gave her a grin and rubbed my hand up and down her arm, claiming her. I wanted them to see that Bella was with me. People's shocked thoughts intensified and were all but screaming at me, but I smiled despite the noise. I guess Bella was right; it was a little amusing.

After placing our order, we walked over to the table where Mike, Jessica, Angela and Eric sat. Everyone was back in town for the weekend to see the game. Any amusement I had vanished when I heard Mike's thoughts.

_Who's the chick? She's hot. Nice ass. Definitely not from around here. Stupid Cullen, always getting all the girls. I thought he was gay. Wow, she's really hot. Maybe he isn't gay and is getting it on with her… _

I had always hated Mike Newton, and now I remembered why. He thought of women as conquests. He had some of the most sexually explicit thoughts I'd ever heard, and they pissed me off. I knew I couldn't bear it if he started to fantasize about Bella. I would definitely tear his limbs off. Bella was a goddess, and he was worthless slime.

He noticed my hateful glare and put his head down. _Jeez, Cullen is still a freak. What's his problem? Maybe he's not getting any and is frustrated. Ha ha. I would definitely get it on with that girl. Cullen's such a dumbass. I would fu--." _

I cleared my throat, stopping his thought. Jessica looked at me oddly and introduced Bella to everyone, since I was clearly distracted. I pulled myself together and smiled at everyone, asking the socially polite questions. In their thoughts, they were excited to see me and wondered about Bella.

Before I had to answer any more questions, our food order was called. I whisked Bella away and promised to see them all tonight.

As we left the store, Bella started laughing hysterically.

"What?"

"I have never seen you so uncomfortable!," she said between giggles. "It was hilarious. You're usually so confident. What was that about?"

"Let's just say I'm not the biggest fan of my old high school peers." I tried not to get angry all over again at Mike's nasty thoughts.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I shouldn't have agreed to go to the game. I thought you'd want to go, and I figured you wouldn't tell me if you did…" She looked repentant.

"No, Bella, it's fine. It'll be fun. We'll go on some rides."

She laughed again. "I'm sure you'll have a blast on the rides." She was so cute when she was being sarcastic.

"Let's go feed you. You must be starving." I thought of somewhere special to take her. "Do you mind taking this out of town, though? Can you wait twenty minutes to eat?"

"Sure." Curiosity burned in her voice.

"I'm taking you to one of my favorite places to go around here," I explained. "I'd like to share it with you. We'll make it back in time for the game; don't worry," I teased.

"Edward, I'll go with you anywhere. I'm yours."

As we sped out of town, I hoped that Bella meant what she said. I wanted her to be mine more than anything else in the world, and I would do whatever it took to make that happen.

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**Expect some interesting developments, haha. At least, I hope they're interesting! Your reviews will be my gauge of awesomeness. if you review, then I'll write more. I love our relationship! It's so much simpler than Edward and Bella's. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey all! I'm running late to an appointment, so I'll keep this brief! **

**I haven't responded to any reviews from Chap 17 yet; I figured that you'd want me to hurry up and get this Chapter out first! If you all review, I will get another out SOON! I'm sorry this one took a little longer, but it is longer than past chapters. **

**If you're adding my story, please give me a little comment, anything! I'd love to hear from you. **

**I'm not S. Meyer BOO! **

**Oh, the 6th chapter is always from Bella's perspective. And please excuse any typos---they're embarrassing agh!  
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Bella's POV

I closed my eyes for a moment. They were tearing up from the sting of the wind, and my hair was whipping around my face. Forks was one of the most beautiful places I'd ever seen, and I hated closing my eyes even for a second. I didn't know how long I'd be here, or when I would wake up from this dream, but I wanted to enjoy it for now. I wanted to see everything.

I forced my eyes open, averting them from the assailing wind. I looked upon the only sight more appealing than the forest: Edward. He was driving with a distant smile on his lips. Sensing my gaze, he looked at me with a dazzling smile. I smiled back, blushing and greedily drinking in his splendor.

The wind had disheveled his bronze hair and plastered his shirt against his sculpted torso. This morning, I had finally given into temptation and reached under his shirt to feel his chest for myself. I'd traced the plains of his abs, hot skin on chiseled granite. He had shivered in pleasure, clearly affected by my touch. He'd felt better than I'd imagined, and it made it all that much more difficult to resist touching him now. I didn't understand why Edward was drawn to me, but I was thankful for it.

The wind made it too loud for us to talk, so we enjoyed the drive in silence. I used the time to process the overwhelming feelings that were crippling my thought process. My mind refused rational thought and wanted to do nothing but wait for Edward's next smile, or touch, or word. I was perfectly content to float along in bliss and bask in the beauty of his attention.

However, I knew I needed to think, so I fixed my gaze back to the green forest and off of my distracting companion. I needed to use this forced silence wisely. I couldn't afford to live in a dream world forever, and Edward was more than my wildest dreams could have ever mustered. I wasn't that creative.

I had known Edward for just over a week. In that time, he had saved me, wanted to kill me, taken me cross country, pretended to be my betrothed, and confessed that he'd rather die than stay away from me. In all my life, I had never felt this strongly about anyone or anything before. It was a whirlwind of emotion, and I was totally caught up in it.

He had said that we were dating. Was that part of the charade, or did it mean something else? In the charade, he was taking me home to meet his parents and see his 'hometown.' Didn't that imply some sort of a commitment? I needed to distinguish the truth from the façade. He complimented me all of the time and acted like we were a couple. Did vampires even think of relationships in such mundane terms?

Although I had endless questions, my mind kept drifting back to my uncontrollable connection to him. Kissing Edward was…out of this world. The mere thought of it made me bite my lip in anticipation. I had never been a physical person before, but all of that had drastically changed in the past week. _I_ was changed, a different Bella than I'd been before him. I spent half of my time fantasizing about him touching me, and the other half of my time wondering why he even wanted to. It was maddening.

This morning hadn't helped my unmanageable desire. Waking up with him, kissing him, stroking his face…I could do it for a lifetime and be happy. He'd looked at me with his hypnotic eyes, telling me that he just wanted to make me happy. He said he wanted to go to college with me and find a way for us to be together. He wanted _me. _I almost started crying all over again at the memory, at the possibility of being with Edward.

The crazy part was that I believed every word of it. I was falling harder for him by the minute, and it was terrifying. It had to end, didn't it? Life wasn't this good. Something was destined to go wrong; it always did. I wished I didn't believe him so completely when he said he wanted me; it would make the inevitable disappointment more endurable. How long would he want me?

This was going to hurt when it ended. In truth, I wouldn't survive it. I tried to remind my enthusiastic heart of this fact, but my heart and I had already been altered beyond repair. I had crossed the point of no return. Edward was right; this relationship was dangerous.

I wondered about becoming a vampire myself. Could I do that? How did it happen? I had asked Edward once, but he deftly ignored the question. He didn't want me to know. If he did get sick of me, the last thing he would want is an immortal ex-girlfriend to pity. I frowned. Besides, would I even want immortality without Edward? I knew the answer was no. I had so many questions, but there was no good way to really bring them up.

I jumped at the sound of his velvet voice, and he laughed. "We're here," he said, squeezing my hand. "Sorry to startle you. What were you thinking about?" Thank God he couldn't read my mind. I didn't want to ruin this day with my intense psychoanalysis. I would ask questions later.

"Nothing really. I'm thinking about how much I like it here. It's beautiful."

He smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying Forks. Most people find it depressing after awhile." He looked up to the sky, his face angelic. "The cloud cover gets to people."

I suppose it was a little dreary. I wondered if I would eventually find the cloud cover depressing. I knew I hated Florida and its humidity. As I pondered my preferences, Edward looked at me with an amused smirk. He lightly fluffed my hair, and I could feel how wild it was from the wind.

Oh! My hair was in knots and sticking out all over! How embarrassing. "My hair's a nightmare," I said sheepishly. _Way to state the obvious, Bella!_ I wished for a comb. Why did his hair have to look windswept and perfect while mine looked like a tangled mess?

"I like it. It's sexy." Before I could argue, he wound his fingers in my tangled hair and gave me a wry smile, pulling me in for a kiss. I caught my breath and tried not to attack him with lust. To my surprise, he was more aggressive and commanding than usual. He swept his cool tongue over my top lip, tasting it. Yes, this was definitely more assertive. When I moaned, he pulled away with a smirk.

"Bella…"

"Don't blame me. That was all you," I breathed.

"Hmm. Agreed. Remind me to take you driving with the top down more often."

"If tangled hair means kissing like _that_, then I'll never brush it again." I was surprised by my bold comments, but Edward brought it out in me; I couldn't help it. I'd been more brave with him than I'd ever thought capable. I worried about causing him pain, but unfortunately, my hormones often won the battle over my concern for him. He was too wonderful to kiss.

"You must be hungry." He unloaded some things from the trunk.

"Yes, I am," I said with as much double meaning as possible, licking my lips. He laughed at my innuendo and put his free arm around my waist.

"Let's go."

Before I could say another word, he scooped me up and headed out into the forest at blinding speed. I closed my eyes, feeling the rush of trees all around me. After what felt like a few seconds, he stopped.

"We're here," he said.

I blinked my eyes. My body was still pressed against his delicious chest, and I felt him tense when I gasped. I couldn't help my reaction; we were in the most beautiful clearing that I'd ever seen. Grass and flowers abounded, and I could hear a stream nearby. It was untouched by man, preserved in its perfection.

"Edward---." I was at a complete loss for words.

He spoke quietly, looking off in the distance. "I spent most of my free time here when we lived in Forks. I would come here to think, or compose music in my head. It's peaceful, free from the persistent noise that I can never seem to escape. I've spent countless hours in this meadow," he said thoughtfully. "I've never brought anyone here before you."

I was overwhelmed. I was the first to experience this with him. It meant that he trusted me, and that maybe he was as serious about me as I was about him. This meadow was a glimpse into Edward, and I would always remember it.

"Thank you for sharing this with me," I said with emotion. _You're the love of my life. I love you, Edward._ I couldn't say the words. They weren't strong enough.

He put me down tenderly and started laying down a blanket for us. He shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "You know," he said, "I never in a million years thought I'd be here with anyone. I didn't even dream about it. I never saw the point."

"How does it feel?"

He gave me a smile that melted my heart, his eyes full of happiness. "Wonderful," he said.

He lightened the mood and gave me a teasing grin. "Now, let's get you fed!"

The sandwich and salad from the café were amazing. I washed them down with iced tea and a cupcake that Edward had snuck into the order. He played with my hair while I ate, and we talked endlessly about books. He wasn't as big of a Shakespeare fan as I was, so we argued about the plays. I loved that he was so well read; I hadn't known anyone else who read as much as I did. When I pointed this out, he laughed heartily.

"Bella, I have nothing else to do but read! That is, until you," he said with smoldering eyes. I predictably blushed and went back to picking at my cupcake.

When I'd finished eating, I laid down on my back and stretched out as much as I could. I felt thoroughly relaxed and closed my eyes with a sigh of contentment.

Edward was suddenly hovering above me. He was looking down at me with desire shimmering in his amber eyes. They were almost burning with their intensity. He was leaning on one arm while the other started tracing patterns on my bare leg.

"Do you have to look so tempting?," he asked gruffly.

"No?" My answer came out awkward, but I didn't know what else to say. I was too distracted by his lean arms and sweet breath and beautiful eyes and…

"Is it too forward of me to admit that I've been thinking about your legs all day?" He started moving his hand up my calf, lightly grazing my knee with his thumb.

My eyes rolled back in my head as I tried to speak. "No," I murmured.

"They're so soft." He slid his hand underneath my knee and continued moving up my leg at a torturous pace. I was going to pass out, so I focused on my breathing. Passing out would not be very romantic.

"I love this spot, right here," he whispered, stroking my inner thigh, right above my knee.

My plan to breathe failed, and I started gasping erratically. He kept his hand on my inner thigh and bent down to kiss my neck. Cool, sweet breath washed over me, and my heart tried to leap out of my chest.

He sighed against my skin and moved up to my lips. "Exquisite," he said against my mouth.

Edward started kissing me feverishly, keeping his hand on my leg. I wrapped my arms underneath his shirt and dug my nails into his back, trying to bring him closer. He gasped, and I felt his muscles contract under my hands. I ran them down to the small of his back with my fingernails, enjoying the texture and perfection of his long muscles.

I thought he would stop kissing me. This was farther than we'd gone before, and we usually stopped by now. I was wrong.

He kissed me even harder, more passionately. He let me slide my tongue across his lips for the first time, and I took advantage of the gift. I lapped at his upper lip, sucking at it, trying to taste more. My hot breath flooded into his mouth, and I moved my hand up to his hair to pull him closer still. I was totally losing control, and I was going to burst if he didn't give me more.

He slid his hand farther up my leg, lost in our passionate embrace as much as I was. He massaged my thigh in circular motions, taking his hand higher and higher. Finally, he hitched my leg up around his waist and grabbed my backside. I was so overcome with desire that I gently bit his lower lip and moaned his name.

With a sigh, he pulled away. Of course.

"I'm sorry I bit you," I said between breaths.

He raised an eyebrow. His breathing was unsteady when he spoke. "I'm sorry I attacked you like that." He panted and ran a hand through his hair. "I think you need to wear pants from now on. We need to conceal as much of your skin as possible." He looked my bare legs up and down appreciatively. "Yes, definitely keep those covered. Jesus, I'm worse that Newton."

"Hmm?" I didn't know who Newton was, but I was inwardly thrilled that he wanted me so much. At least I wasn't alone in my dizzying attraction.

"Never mind," he mumbled. "And Bella, I like your aggressive side, maybe a bit too much." I smiled at his lustful expression.

We took a few moments to regain our composure and then resumed our earlier conversation about Shakespeare. Our kissing session had ended, which saddened me, but it wasn't like I didn't enjoy talking to him, too. We moved onto music, completely absorbed in one another. We both loved Clair de Lune, and he promised to take me to the Broadway play one day.

After a few hours, Edward started collecting our things to leave. "Bella, we should probably get going." I loved it here, but it _was_ getting late. Time flew by with Edward. There was just so much to talk about.

I was disappointed because we hadn't talked about any of my several concerns. I wanted to ask about earlier today. What exactly did Edward think we were doing? Were we dating, and what did that mean? I didn't want to procrastinate that conversation for too long. I promised myself I would bring it up after the carnival. We had a few weeks to be together, and I wouldn't let my concerns linger in the air and sullen whatever time we did have together.

We headed back into town and stopped at a corner store to buy a comb for my hair. I refused to confront the whole town with my hair in knots. Edward assured me that I looked 'stunning,' but I couldn't trust him to be objective, and I wasn't facing that awful Jessica girl again unless I could look decent.

We got to the carnival in record time thanks to Edward's driving. To my dismay, the football game was at half time. I had forgotten about the game part of it and wasn't a big sports fan. Also, I was sure that the whole stadium would stop to gawk at Edward and his mystery companion, me.

Edward, of course, looked like a Greek god. His clothing always perfectly fit his lean body, and his forearm flexed deliciously as he held my hand. As I traveled up to his face, I noticed that his jaw was taut and there was a hard edge to his eyes. I instantly felt guilty for taking him here. I could only wonder what he was hearing in others' thoughts, and I couldn't help but be glad that I didn't know. I felt self conscious enough.

We found a seat in the stadium, and I was right; everyone stopped to stare. I could hear their whispers and see their heads snap around. The cheerleading squad on the field squealed in delight. Edward had been a senior when those girls were lowerclassmen, and now the cutest guy to go to their school was back in Forks. Right before we sat down, a few of the girls screamed Edward's name and waved. He dutifully ignored them and looked uncomfortable.

"Do you want to leave?," I whispered.

"No, Bella, we'll see this out. I want you to enjoy yourself." He gave me a crooked grin and kissed my hand. Our public display of affection brought on a whole new round of whispers, and Edward just smiled at me.

I tried to enjoy the remainder of the game, but every minute or so some brave soul would walk up to speak to Edward. Were the Cullens back? They wanted to know about his family and college. Everyone seemed happy to see him, though; at least, they seemed genuine to me. Edward answered everyone politely and warmly, playing his role well. He introduced me as his girlfriend, which made me ecstatic. Did he mean it? Nevertheless, I sat up a little taller, feeling proud. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was with Edward, but this would do.

Neither Jessica nor Mike made an appearance during the game, which I appreciated. I had completely forgotten to ask Edward about why he hated Mike so much, so I decided to do it now.

"Hey," I said quietly, "Why were you so angry at the Mike kid earlier?"

Edward grimaced. "I didn't like what he was thinking about you."

"Oh," I said. Edward clearly didn't want to talk about it, so I didn't push it.

He started telling me about the more colorful members of the Forks High School's faculty. I tried to imagine him sitting in classrooms with these people, pretending to be a seventeen years old. The image was hilarious. Now that I was getting to know his looks, I could just see him rolling his eyes in boredom and walking around with a permanent look of discomfort fixed on his beautiful face.

As I laughed with him about the teachers, particularly one named Mrs. Goff, I tried to ignore the girls staring me down. One of them whispered and laughed cruelly. I started to blush, and Edward looked at me questioningly.

"Bella, what's the matter?"

"How are you so perceptive?" He noticed everything. I blushed harder.

"Your blush is so beautiful, and I'd like to know the reason for it. I don't think it was anything I said, and I'm jealous." He rubbed the back of my hand in encouraging circles to try to coax me into talking.

"Um, did you have a, uh, girlfriend in high school?" I was pretty sure the answer was no, but I had to make sure. Some of these girls acted like they owned him.

"Bella, you're my first girlfriend, in either of my lives!" He looked at me like it was the most obvious fact in the world.

"So, you consider me your girlfriend, then? In reality?" It sounded so good. I wanted to hear it again. I wanted it weeded out from our facades and pronounced officially.

He looked incredulous. "Is my behavior not telling, Bella? What kind of a man do you think I am?" He nudged me playfully. "Although, I do admit that I feel something much stronger for you than the word 'girlfriend' connotes." He unintentionally seduced me from underneath his eyelashes. "Do you consider me your boyfriend?," he implored.

"I'm under the impression that you're something more than a boyfriend, too."

That seemed to make him happy. "Well, I'm not really a boy." Now it was my turn to playfully nudge him, and we laughed. "It's settled, then. In _real_ life," he emphasized, "I'm your boyfriend and you're my girlfriend, until we can come up with a more fitting term. We'll work on that." I hoped that we would.

Forks lost the game, but everyone seemed in high spirits. The stadium buzzed with energy and the marching band played with vigor. Edward held my hand and guided me through the throngs of people.

The carnival actually had a Ferris wheel, which I had only seen portable a few times before. They also had tons of booth games and food. Edward bought me some popcorn and we went exploring, stopping to talk to someone new about every five feet. It was hard to focus on the conversations with Edward holding my hand, but I managed.

Suddenly, Jessica and Mike made an appearance. It looked like they had been fighting but were covering it up now. Edward's eyes became guarded and he held my hand tighter. Wow, he really didn't like Mike.

"Hey, Edward, Bella! Did you enjoy the game? We totally lost!" Jessica suddenly looked more enthusiastic after seeing Edward.

"It was fun, thanks," he said politely.

"Edward, Esta bien!," A voice said from behind us. "Darling, how are you?" Edward rolled his eyes at me and mouthed to me that the voice belonged to Mrs. Goff. Jessica joined in with their conversation, and Mike leered at me.

"Want to go on the Ferris wheel, Bella?," he asked.

"Um, I don't think—"

"No," Edward said firmly, breaking away from his conversation.

"Oh, c'mon Edward. There's a line of people waiting to catch up with you. It's one ride. I'm just trying to be welcoming. You'll have her back in a second," he promised.

Edward looked at me, and I tried to reassure him that it was fine. I knew he didn't like it, but it was going to be embarrassing if he said no. His teacher and Jessica were waiting expectantly. I played it off.

"Sure, it's one ride. I'd love to."

Edward flitted his eyes to Mike and looked like he may kill him, but he relented and let me go. I knew that he'd be watching.

Mike was right; there were more than a few people crowding around Edward. Everyone seemed to miss Dr. Cullen and wanted to know how he and Esme were doing. _Poor, Edward,_ I thought. I knew I'd be miserable if I were him.

Mike talked animatedly about the local community college and his family's sporting goods store. I appreciated his blabbering, because I didn't have anything interesting to say to him.

"So, Bella, how'd you meet Cullen?" He asked the question as we got into the Ferris wheel booth, his blue eyes curious.

"At school."

"Huh, you must've really made an impression on him. He never talked to anyone at _our_ school." Mike sounded a little resentful. Clearly, he didn't like Edward much, either.

"Oh, really?" I was hoping he'd say more.

"I mean, it isn't like girls don't _like_ him. Even Jessica…," he trailed off uncomfortably.

I felt badly for Mike. I guess it would be difficult to go to school with Edward. Mike didn't stand a chance in any way. I decided to comfort him.

"I wouldn't let it get to you, Mike. Edward is very…unique."

Mike got a sad look in his eyes and put his hand on my knee. "It's just hard, you know. I could never get a girl like you. I can't compete with Edward."

I removed his hand politely and gave him my best serious look. "Edward is my…boyfriend. I don't think your hand on my leg is such a good idea." _Not unless you want Edward to run up the Ferris wheel and throw you off it_, I thought_. _Edward would definitely do something like that.

"I guess you're right," he muttered.

I felt like Mike was interested in me for the sole reason that I was with Edward. Guys like him paid me little attention in Florida, opting instead for the outgoing pretty girls. I was hardly any of those things, except where Edward was concerned…

Mike had a rejected look on his face, but he braved through it. "So, how long are you in town for? Maybe we can all do something."

"I'm not sure. I know Edward was talking about staying for a few weeks, but nothing is decided yet." I wished I knew myself what we were doing.

After what seemed like an eternity, the Ferris wheel ride ended. Mike's chatter and failed attempts to flirt with me were annoying, and I was ready to return to Edward.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Edward waiting for me on the ground. I would never get used to how gorgeous he was. He was impatient and actually tapping his foot. I thought it was adorable.

When I got off the ride, he walked up to me with a fierce look in his eyes. Was he mad? Mike trailed behind me.

"Hey, thanks Cullen. Bella is—"

Before he could finish, Edward grabbed me into a firm grip and kissed me. I could feel people turn to stare, but I didn't care. I was getting used to people staring when I was with Edward, and his lips were definitely more captivating than any of the people around us.

He took his time, kissing me slowly and thoroughly. His hand stayed on the small of my back, while his other hand held my neck. I felt my body flush with heat. I would never move again if I could keep kissing him. I could feel Mike gawking at our public display; we were definitely being inappropriate, but neither of us cared.

He pulled away too soon and shot Mike a dazzling smile. "No, thank you, Mike. I appreciate you being so nice to _my_ Bella." He nuzzled my hair as we started walking away.

Felling disoriented, I looked at Edward. "What was that about?," I asked. "Not that I minded, but…"

Edward froze and started listening to something that I couldn't hear.

"Edward," a smooth voice called out. It was familiar, but I couldn't place it.

Before answering the voice, he spoke to me. "There's been a change of plans, Bella," he whispered.

"What do you mean?" But before he had to say another word, I saw what he meant. There at the carnival stood Carlisle.

"Good evening, Bella," he said kindly. "Hello, Edward. We need to talk, son. Now. Let's head home, shall we? I'll ride with you, if you don't mind."

Edward nodded, still tense.

I had no idea what was going on, but I would find out soon enough. It couldn't be good.

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**Review please! What do you think is going to happen or should happen? **


	19. Chapter 19

**This chapter is dedicated to Absolutely Cullen; I hope she likes it, b/c I love her. I also want to give a shout out to my-lil-pixie-friend for PMing me lots of love and laughs. All of you that review (TopazTearz, Hikari-and-Akari,Emma4030, triss22, et114141 (I love Jim, too), nayley4ever2333, twialleyholic-OCD, Link's Ocarina Babe, astranger81, archeleye, hollanlillies, OMG SO MANY OTHERS ---YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!), I love you more than my own life (lol). **

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**Lastly, I don't own twilight, but my-lil-pixie-friend and I are working out the details for a Twilight stalker club (lol), and Absolutely Cullen and I are figuring out custody arrangements if either of us can catch Robert Pattinson. You're welcome to join the stalker club, but Absolutely Cullen and I will not share RPattz with you (at least, probably not).  
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The drive back to the house was tense. No one spoke a word, and I could feel Bella's worry emanating from the back seat. Bella insisted on sitting in the back, and I resented our distance. I wanted her next to me, so that I could hold her hand and soothe her. I didn't want her to worry about this. Whatever Carlisle had to say, it wasn't going to change how I felt about her, and it wouldn't change the fact that we would stay together.

I listened to Carlisle's mind, but he was keeping me out by thinking about the latest advances in genomics. He probably didn't want me to freak out until we were safely inside the house. However, I had gotten a glimpse into what was going on in his head at the carnival. Carlisle knew that I'd been hunting humans, and he wasn't happy about it.

I wanted to know how he knew. A thousand scenarios crossed my mind, but they all seemed improbable. I would get to the bottom of it soon enough. Once I started asking questions, he would slip up and I would see into his mind. I would get the full story.

Although it pained me to disappoint Carlisle, I didn't care if he didn't like my hunting decisions. I felt that I was justified in ways that he couldn't understand. I would hear him out, but I would do what I wanted about the situation. Human blood was working so far, and it felt good to make these decisions for myself. I liked avenging little Tommy and saving the girl in Atlanta. I was better than a vampire, a horrendous nightmare, for once in my existence. It let me be closer to my Bella, to deserve her.

We arrived at the house, and I helped Bella out of the car. I squeezed her hand to comfort her, but she gave me a worried, questioning look. I smiled as reassuringly as I could, but I could see the trepidation in her eyes.

She was keeping her distance from me in front of Carlisle, unsure of whether it was appropriate. He had witnessed us kissing in public, and I think she had been embarrassed by that. I had seen the shock in his thoughts, but he wasn't disapproving as much as he was alarmed. Bella and I were more serious than he'd thought. Although I had told him that I loved her, actually seeing us together drove the point home for him. It made him even more worried and reaffirmed something in his mind.

Bella sat down on the couch while I put the remnants of our picnic on the kitchen counter. I was about to take her upstairs; I didn't want to argue with Carlisle in front of her. Carlisle was silently standing in a corner of the room, watching me. It was unnerving.

I tried to sound calm before talking to Bella, despite the fact that I was feeling more anxious by the second. "Bella, I think that Carlisle and I should speak privately." I hated excluding her, but I thought it was best.

_Edward, I think that we should include Bella in this discussion. _

"Why?," I said aloud. Bella jumped at my question. She quickly realized what was happening and looked between the two of us anxiously. She knew that Carlisle was talking to me through his thoughts.

_The conversation I want to have directly concerns Bella. I think she should understand the whole situation. You've brought her into this, son. She has a right to participate. _

"I know that," I said harshly, "but I think there may be more appropriate ways to involve her, don't you?" _Like after we talk and figure this out for ourselves,_ I thought.

"No," he said firmly.

I was stunned into a momentary silence, gaping at him. Carlisle had never treated me as anything less than an equal. Even as father and son, he respected my autonomy. However, he was pulling rank right now, and I had to obey. Disobedience reared its ugly head in my thoughts. I didn't want to be told what to do, but I conceded.

Bella looked at me, unsure of how to proceed. With a strained voice, I responded to Carlisle. "Fine. Have it your way." I turned to Bella. "You can stay, if you'd like. Feel free to _participate_."

She shook her head to confirm that she would stay. _Great_.

"Alright, Carlisle, what's on your mind?" I tried to sound open-minded and casual, but I felt cornered and defensive.

He stopped keeping me out of his mind now, and I gasped as his thoughts flooded into mine. I saw that two vampires had joined him and the rest of my family in Denali. Their eyes were golden; they were vegetarians, like I used to be. One had visions of my future, claiming to be a psychic. She was a short vampire with black hair and exuberant, tiny features. Her partner was covered in battle scars and was one of the more frightening vampires I'd ever seen. The visions that the pixie vampire had of my future were ominous, and she was there to warn Carlisle.

I didn't know quite what to say. "Who's Alice?," I choked out. "A _psychic_ vampire? That's ridiculous."

"She's the reason I'm here now, Edward. Alice and her mate, Jasper, are in Denali with Esme and Rosalie as we speak, helping with Emmett. They sought us out. Alice saw you in a vision, and now I'm here…to intervene." _I've seen what you're doing, son. It's not going to end well._ _I believe her._

"Why would you believe her, Carlisle?" I was angry and confused. "Maybe she's from George's coven! I'm being set up."

"She's not from George's coven."

"How can you be sure?," I said bitingly. "Oh wait, never mind. How stupid of me. I mean, her credibility is _clearly_ solid. She only claims to see the _future_." Sarcasm dripped from my words.

"Edward, you hear minds. It isn't unbelievable that she could have extrasensory perceptions, as well. Alice came to us seeking a home. She wants to join the family, and she already thinks of you as a brother. She wanted to come here directly but knew that you would probably attack her. She's been searching for us, and she knows things about us, things that George and his coven would never know."

There was no point in arguing any further. Carlisle was convinced. "Well, what did she see, then? I'm dying to know."

"She sees your destruction, Edward. Your hunting habits will catch up to you. And I know she's right, even without the vision. I've lived long enough to know how these things end," he said sadly. "I was content to let you make your own choices before Bella was involved. But she's an innocent, and I can't allow you to continue on so recklessly while you keep her in your life. I had figured that you'd stopped after Bella, went back to animals. If I would've known about this, then I would've tried to intervene sooner." _You should have stopped. You're endangering Bella, and it's intolerable. _

I screamed at my father now, completely livid. He had it all wrong. "It's because of the humans that I can be with Bella, Carlisle! Don't you see? If there is a God, then he brought Bella to me for a reason. She's a sign that I'm using my abilities in the ways that they're meant to be used! I've killed a child rapist, murderers... Does your God support _them_, Carlisle? Does _Alice_?," I spat, saying her name with disdain.

"It's not your decision to pass judgment. It's immoral, and it is leading you down a treacherous path. Any doubt I had was eradicated by Alice's visions."

"Alice doesn't know anything!," I roared.

Bella spoke, almost as if coming out of a daze. "You're still hunting humans."

"Yes," I said, lowering my voice, pleading with her. "But they're evil, Bella. They deserve to die. If only you could hear them… I only kill those who are murderers themselves."

She was in shock, barely hearing me. "Oh God. I'm to blame for this. Edward, I can't…" Bella was at a loss for words, wringing her hands. I wanted to hold her in my arms and wished desperately to go back in time to the meadow. I couldn't bear the sadness on her face.

Carlisle continued. "It's only a matter of time before the human diet changes you. You're stronger now, at least you _think_ you are, but it doesn't stay like this forever. And you'll be subjecting Bella to great danger along the way. What do you plan to do, Edward? Leave Bella human while you stalk off into the shadows to hunt for murderers? It's a dream world, and it won't last." His voice rang with conviction.

"What did Alice see, exactly?" I tried to keep the anger in my voice, but I faltered. Carlisle had a point. Did I really plan to stay with Bella during the day and hunt humans at night? It was a little twisted and definitely dangerous.

Carlisle decided to keep his full answer from Bella. _You'll kill innocents, Edward. You won't be able to help it after a while. Evil isn't always easy to find. You've just been lucky. Think of Atlanta, how long you went without hunting. Your standards will become more relaxed, and you'll never forgive yourself for the atrocities that you'll commit. In the end, all of it will be in vain, because you won't see yourself as deserving of Bella. You'll lose her, too, just like you'll lose yourself and all of us. This isn't a game you want to play, Edward. If you love her, then you'll realize that you have something more important to live for. _

Finally, he spoke for Bella's benefit. "You can't have it both ways. It's impossible."

"I don't believe it, Carlisle. I won't become what Alice sees."

_Maybe before Bella, I could trust your judgment and allow it, but __not__ now. _

"What do you mean?," I whispered.

"You'll no longer be a part of this family if you continue." He meant every word. He would disown me. I stood there, stunned, as his words hit me like a ton of bricks.

"I love you, my son, and I will mourn your loss for an eternity, but I won't stand by idly and watch this happen. You and Bella deserve better." I saw the pain in caused him to speak these words to me, words he'd never imagined having to say.

Bella cried out from the couch, her voice breaking. "No, Edward. This is my fault, and I won't let you lose your family." Her gaze met mine, and I saw the agony swimming in her eyes.

"You are my family," I replied.

"As you are mine," she said brokenly. "But you have other family, Edward, family that you loved before I ever entered into the picture."

"I know…"

_You should change her. Alice saw it happen. _

I turned to my father, pure rage burning in my eyes. "I thought we weren't to kill innocents, Carlisle. Is this really your solution? Instead of killing murderers, we'll just kill Bella, so that I don't have to burn?" I glared at him. "You don't know me at all. I'd rather hunt murderers than take her life."

"But you will destroy her, and you'll destroy yourself in the process," he roared. Carlisle had never yelled at me before now. "Changing her is the better option."

I tried to control the venom in my voice. "Whatever Alice thinks she saw, the future isn't set in stone. Have I lost my free agency?," I asked with derision. "Can I no longer make decisions and decide my own fate, because Alice has decided it for me?"

"If you believe that, then maybe you should ask Bella what she wants and stop making decisions on her behalf. Your actions impact her, Edward. This isn't about your agency anymore. You left that in Atlanta."

He was right; I couldn't argue. Bella mattered more than my own life. I had intervened in her fate, and this wasn't about me anymore.

Carlisle quietly asked the question that I most dreaded to answer. "Are you strong enough to leave her, then? Is that an alternative?" I saw the panic in Bella's eyes, and she waited for me to answer.

It was my turn to sound broken. I knew the answer, and I wouldn't lie. I looked at Bella, remorse evident on my face. "No, I can't." _I'm sorry, Bella. I love you._

I could never leave her, even if it was the best option for her. I was in too deep. Even if it meant killing the both of us, I would follow her until the end. She was a part of me, and I couldn't sever her from the whole. The consequences were upon me, and I wanted the earth to swallow me whole.

Carlisle spoke. "Then you must stop."

I ignored him and looked at Bella, my angel. "What do you want?" My voice came out as a whisper, my eyes locked on her exquisite face.

"I want you." Her bottom lip quivered, but her brown eyes were full of promise.

"I could kill you."

"I've always known that. I don't care."

I walked over to her and caressed her silky cheek. Her skin was warmer than usual; sweet blood frantically raced through her veins. She turned her face into my hand and kissed my palm.

"Then come with me." I said it with all of the love that I possessed in my dead heart. I didn't know what I was doing, but I needed to figure it out, with her, alone.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle." _Please forgive me. _

Without another word, I scooped Bella up into my arms and turned my back on my father. He wouldn't come after me, and I heard his despair fall farther and farther behind me as I headed into the night. Bella was in my arms, and she was all that mattered.

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	20. Chapter 20

**THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!!! I really, really get encouraged when you drop me a line. A special thanks to MysticPegasai for finding my story, loving it, and reviewing along the way. I really enjoyed your feedback! Also, thanks to everyone reviewing for the first time.  
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**As you all know, I like responding to my reviews. Please accept my apologies; I won't be able to respond until tomorrow. I knew you'd all rather me finish this. :) But trust me, I've read them and loved them and used them to the best of my ability. --- Oh, and excuse any typos in here. Didn't have time to edit carefully.  
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**I started a new story that is in its infancy. It is M, though, seriously M!! (blushes like Bella). I hope it gets good, but it's too early to tell. Just thought I'd tell ya.  
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About an hour after leaving Carlisle, we ended up in Astoria, a small seaside town just north of Portland. Although Bella didn't complain, I knew she must be uncomfortable with our travel arrangements. Humans needed to stretch their legs, so Astoria would have to do. I'd always thought it was nice, anyway. I sat Bella down outside of a modest hotel, and neither of us said a word as I went inside to get a room. She had been quiet since we'd left the house, and I was too on edge to speak. For the millionth time, I wished to know her thoughts.

Although I still had plenty of money, we needed to lay low until I figured out what we were going to do. Without Carlisle's support, I would have to make some money. I had always accepted his support like a selfish child, never thinking about making any on my own. That had to change; I had Bella to worry about now. Until we were more stable, Bella and I would avoid the Ritz Carltons of the world. I knew she wouldn't mind, but it still bothered me not to give her the best of everything.

We found our hotel room and went inside, still not speaking. It had one queen bed in the center of the room and plain wood furniture. Bella moved away from me, and I couldn't bring myself to reach out to her yet. My mind was going a mile a minute. I needed to get Bella food, and…

"Edward, sit down." Bella was standing in the corner of the room, watching my mind frantically race.

"Bella, I can't. You must be starving, and we need to…"

"Sit down," she said with authority, emphasizing each word. She'd never talked to me like this before, and there was a look of determination in her brown eyes. "Please," she added, softening her voice.

I complied with her request and sat on the bed, facing her. Was she angry with me? I could never apologize enough for my behavior, but I would do all that I could to make it up to her. I would listen to her, and I do whatever I needed…

"Edward, do you really…want to be with me? Do you love me?"

Why was she asking that? Hadn't I been clear? "Yes, more than you'll ever know. Bella, I love you, I—"

"Stop." She held up her hand, cutting me off. "Let me speak before you continue. If you mean it, if you really love me, then I _need_ you to hear me out, Edward. Can you do that?"

I shook my head in assent, trying to obey her request.

She rubbed her forehead, collecting her thoughts and exhaling a breath. "Edward, I won't let you leave your family." I started to protest, but she held up a finger to silence me. "I won't," she repeated. "There is a solution to this, and we will find it, so help me God. But you have to calm down, and you have to work through this _with_ me. Okay?"

I nodded again, waiting for her continue. She wasn't finished.

"You cannot hunt humans; I agree with Carlisle. We can't live like that, and I'll never be able to accept it, or forgive myself, for being involved. You deserve better than that kind of life." She started pacing. "I don't want you looking for murderers when I'm asleep! I…don't feel safe with you doing that, and I can't be sure that it won't harm you eventually. I'll always feel responsible. You're too important, and…" I saw the tears welling up in her eyes from her emotional confession.

I started to talk, but she cut me off. "Please. Let me finish. I need to say this." She took a deep breath. I hated seeing her struggle.

"I won't compromise, and I want us to discuss all of our options. I want to know everything about becoming a vampire, and I want to…"

I couldn't stay silent anymore. "No, Bella!," I roared.

"Why not?," she asked with defiance blazing in her eyes.

"There was a time that I thought about you…changing, but you don't realize how painful it is, or what you'd be committing to. Now that I realize how much I love you, I can't make you a monster. I've already been too selfish." I was begging her to listen to me.

"You're not a monster, and you're not selfish. I'm here because I want to be, and we need to discuss this."

"Bella," I said dangerously, "even if you _didn't_ want to be here with me, I'm not sure that you'd have a choice in the matter anymore." Let that sink in. Let her see just how deranged I was about her. She may reconsider binding herself to me for all of eternity.

"But I do want to be here, and you have given me choices. Considering all of that, don't I deserve to know everything, Edward? Don't I get to decide?" She threw Carlisle's words back at me.

"No." I turned away and tightened my jaw.

"You don't own me, Edward Cullen. I want to know. I won't take no for an answer." I stared at her, dumbfounded. _Was she threatening me?_ The girl was insane; she clearly wasn't going to let this go.

"What if I refuse to tell you, Bella?" I tried to sound menacing and call her bluff, but I was losing this fight. I just wanted her back in my arms. She knew only too well that she could threaten me, and I would obey. Who was I kidding?

She ignored my question and lowered her voice. "Is it because you may not…like me as much?" She blushed and suddenly looked especially vulnerable. "You need to be honest with me. You say that you love me, but _what_ exactly do you love about me?" She ducked her head and played with her hair, waiting for my answer.

"What do you mean?"

"Is it my blood that you love, Edward, or me?" She blushed furiously. "If I'm a vampire, will you not…want me?"

Yes, she was definitely insane. Maybe we did deserve each other, considering how crazy we both were. "I love all of you, Bella. Every damn part of you," I cried. "You could have three feet and it wouldn't change how I feel about you. You could be a vampire, and it wouldn't change how I feel, either. In fact, it would be easier for me, a thousand times over. But don't you see? I can't let that happen! I don't think I would've chosen this life for myself. I can't let you suffer just so I'm happy."

"But you _do_ have this life, Edward." She bore into me with unflinching intensity, driving home her next words. "I've felt pain before. I've spent most of my life in pain, and I've spent it alone. Now, I've found you, and I want you forever. If you're worried about my _pain_, then stop! I know my limits. I told you that the first time we met. I can endure pain," she paused and lowered her eyes, "but I can't endure losing you."

I was crumbling at her words. It was all too much. My resolve, my determination, my everything, was crumbling. I put my head in my hands and tried to be strong, tried to figure out what to say to make her see my perspective. How would we ever work this out?

Bella saw the torment on my face and walked over to me. She straddled me on the bed and held my head to her chest, rocking me back and forth. I leaned into her skin, ever so gently, and breathed in her dangerous scent. I wished I could cry. I needed it. Instead, I hugged her tightly to my body.

"I love you," she whispered against my hair. She kissed the top of my head tenderly and ran her fingers through my hair. "I want to be with you," she murmured, kissing me again.

"I love you, too," I replied. "I want you." I didn't want to fight with her anymore, my lovely purpose for existence.

She kissed the top of my head again, nuzzling my face deeper into her chest. It was so delicious. I kissed her chest softly.

"Show me that you love me," she breathed seductively. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head up to hers, kissing me passionately. It took me by surprise, and an involuntary moan escaped my lips. I slipped my hands underneath her shirt and gripped her waist, feeling her warm flesh. "Show me," she whimpered again. "Please."

She pushed me back onto the bed, still straddling me. She moved to my neck, kissing down the length of my throat. I felt her pulling at the hem of my shirt, trying to take it off. I wouldn't resist her. I let her slip it off, and she ran her hands over my abs and down to the waist of my pants. Her fingers lingered there, teasing me. She started kissing across my collar bone, traveling further down my chest with her hot breath.

"Bella, enough. We can't, love…"

"Please," she asked against my chest. It was torture.

"I, I'm afraid, Bella. I don't trust myself." My body betrayed my words as I continued to grip her waist.

"I don't care," she said. She resumed kissing me, driving me wild. She started pushing her hips against mine, and I was on fire with desire, trembling underneath her. I was losing my mind under her hypersensitive touch. Yes, she had won this fight. I was surrendering.

"Bella," I pleaded, my final attempt at sanity before I ravaged her. She ignored me and nipped gently at my hip bone. I gasped, swallowing my venom. All I could feel was her _mouth_.

"Forever, Edward. Please…"

A part of my mind finally heard her, and her words nagged at me. Was Bella purposely testing my control? Was she…trying to push me, to change her? This wasn't fair. She had gone too far. Anger overshadowed my lust and let reason seep back into my mind.

I pushed her off my chest and got off of the bed with blinding speed. Her swollen lips were pouting, and rejection swam in her eyes.

My pants were hanging low on my waist, and I could still feel her breath on my stomach. I fought around the sensation to speak harshly. "Are you _trying_ to cause me pain, Bella? Or, are you really just that eager for immortality? Maybe I should ask what you love about _me_," I spat.

My words stung. I saw hurt distort her features, but I didn't want to take them back. I wanted to know, even though I knew deep down that it didn't matter. I would still love her just the same if it were true.

She pushed back tears, but her pain quickly turned to anger. She glared at me. "Yes, Edward, I want immortality." She threw up her arms. "I'm glad you think so highly of me."

She took a deep breath, anger still flashing in her eyes. "Of course, I don't really know what 'changing' even means. You won't tell me. Do you bite me? Perform some sort of ritual? I don't even know what to do, or not to do, to make you do it."

I finally lost it. If she wanted to know so badly, I would tell her. "Yes, Bella. I _bite_ you. More accurately, I rip your flesh open with my teeth and drink your blood. Most likely, I'll suck you dry. If, God willing, I have the restraint to stop, then my venom will boil through your veins, setting you on fire. You'll burn for days, tormented by unimaginable pain."

I saw her shock, and it fueled my words. "You'll beg for death, until your last heartbeat. You'll scream as you stare into the depths of hell. And even when your heart loses the battle, you'll continue to burn. You'll want nothing more than to die, and to destroy. But you'll already be dead." She had stopped breathing, and my eyes were ablaze with the truth of my words. "It'll never go away. You'll burn for eternity, always existing on the outskirts of humanity, never wanting anything more than to kill."

I broke away from her stare, looking at the wall. It hurt too badly to witness her fear. "Are you still ready to die, Bella?" My voice was strained.

"I'm sorry, Edward." She choked out the words. "But, yes. I am ready. I'll stand in hell with you. You're proof that there's more. I'd gladly burn to be with you." She was sobbing now. "What if you were in my place, Edward?"

I waited for her sobs to subside, too afraid to approach her. I was angry at myself for making her cry, and I couldn't trust myself to be close to her racing blood.

"There has to be another option," I said more for my benefit, evading her question.

"Well, you hunting humans isn't an option. Like I said; I won't compromise."

"Then I'll go back to animals. It can be enough again. I'll learn." It would be risky, but I loved her enough to protect her from myself. I would do it, especially if it kept her human.

"But what about the other members of your family? I won't take you away from them, and it may be difficult for them to be around me, too. It's risky."

"We'll wait a few years to be around them. Once Emmett has a few years, it'll be fine." I would say anything to convince her to wait. I felt destined to hurt her.

"I think we should talk to Alice," she said slowly.

I was incredulous. "Why?"

"We should find out exactly what she saw. We should know."

"Don't tell me you _buy _that psychic routine?"

"I trust Carlisle. You should, too. We should at least talk to her. You shouldn't judge her without even meeting her." Bella had a point.

"Fine. We'll talk to her, but only on one condition," I said.

"What?," she replied cautiously.

"I want you to promise that we'll slow down. We have time, Bella. I know everything feels rushed, but it doesn't have to be. You don't need to become a vampire tonight, or even next year, or ever."

"As long as you're hunting humans, I can't agree to that."

"I'll stop." I meant it. I would try.

She sighed. "Honestly, I don't see the point, Edward. If it's going to happen, I'd rather do it now and not waste any time."

"But we're _saving_ time, Bella! I want you to go to college, and I want you to experience all of the things about being human that I missed out on. It's not the same afterward. Trust me."

"Fine, I will try to take it slow, but I want something else in return. I want you to make up with your father."

"Not yet, Bella." My eyes hardened. The shock of his threat to disown me was wearing off, and anger was taking its place. He'd wanted to cast me out. I wasn't interested in crawling back just yet.

"Edward, please. I feel…responsible. You love him so much. He clearly loves you. You're his son. It isn't worth it to fight."

"You're not responsible. Please don't feel that way. I just need some time to process it all."

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Edward...one more thing?"

"Hmm?"

"Please put your shirt back on." Crimson stained her perfect cheeks.

I gave her a crooked grin and sauntered over to her. I was relieved that our fight was temporarily over and couldn't resist. "Am I distracting you, love?"

"Yes," she gulped.

"How does it feel? You distract me all of the time." I looked down at her on the bed, enjoying her evident discomfort. I swept my eyes over her legs and subtle curves.

She grinned and pushed herself off the bed. I almost fainted when she grabbed the bottom of her blouse and started pulling it up slowly. I caught a glimpse of her stomach as she inched it up and over her skirt.

I groaned in defeat. "Fine, Bella. You win." I rolled my eyes and put my shirt back on. "I'm going to find you some food, my little temptress. What would you like?"

"Anything."

"How about some pasta? There's a place up the road. It's late, but I think it's still open. Do you feel up to going out?"

"Actually, yes. Just give me a few minutes."

"Take as many as you want."

We went out to get dinner a few minutes later, hand in hand. It was cold out and she was shivering, but she wouldn't let go of me. I wished I could be warm for her.

I had seen a different side of Bella tonight, and I had to admit that I was impressed. She was even stronger than I'd realized. She had stood up to me, and I respected her for it. I didn't think it was possible to admire her anymore than I already did. I felt beyond lucky.

When I told her so, she laughed.

"What?," I asked.

"You don't see yourself very clearly. I feel like I'm the lucky one. I spend most of my time trying to figure out what you see in me."

We were out in front of the restaurant, and I stopped walking. "You really are ridiculous," I said, bringing my lips to hers. She tasted amazing; I could stand like this forever. Despite the cold night air, Bella's lips ignited under our contact.

_Edward. Don't panic. _

I froze at the sound of name being thought. I pulled away from Bella's lips and tensed. Someone was here.

I could smell Bella's mounting fear. She knew well enough by now that, when I froze, something was wrong.

"Edward, what is it?"

_Edward, it's Alice, and Jasper is with me. We won't hurt Bella. I saw earlier that you would decide to talk to me, and I left to meet you. I'm sorry for coming so quickly, but I promised your mother. She's really upset. We're over behind the brick building to your left._

I could smell them now and knew exactly where they were. Knowing that they could hear me, I spoke aloud. "I know where you are. What are you waiting for? Bella and I were just about to have dinner. Join us." This was an inevitable meeting, so I might as well let it happen. I wanted to meet them in a public place, anyway, so this was perfect.

_Really, Edward? Thank you! _ Alice's enthusiasm was genuine. She was definitely as exuberant as Carlisle portrayed her to be.

"Bella, it looks like you're getting your wish earlier than expected. Alice is here, along with her mate, Jasper. They'll be joining us for dinner."

"Oh," she said, startled. "That's…a surprise. Neat."

Did she just say 'neat' to having dinner with three vampires? I shook my head. She never ceased to amaze me.

I held Bella tightly as two vampires tentatively rounded the corner. They were everything I'd seen in Carlisle's thoughts and more. Alice was extremely short and petite. She had jet black hair and tiny, proportioned features. She was grinning ear to ear, and she began prancing towards us in excitement. Jasper held back, more wary of the situation. He had blonde hair and boyish features, but his battle scars made him look dangerous and rugged. Their eyes were a light golden color.

I tried to read his mind and felt calming energy radiating from him. I raised a questioning eyebrow his direction.

_It's my talent,_ he answered wryly. _I can…manipulate emotions. I didn't want Bella to feel scared, although she's surprisingly calm. I'm also surprised that you're so…composed. You're hurting, but I thought you'd be much worse off. I've never experienced a singer myself. _He smiled.

His confusion over our composure made me laugh. Of course _Bella _wouldn't be afraid. It was so like her to take this in stride. She thought it was 'neat.' And, as for me, I had hunted recently enough. I wasn't hurting too badly…yet.

They stopped in front of us, keeping their distance.

"Hi, Bella! Edward! I'm Alice. It's so nice to finally meet you." I gasped as her thoughts flooded into me. I could see in her mind that she'd seen me months before. She knew about Atlanta, my upbringing, and she…adored me. Before I could dig deeper into her psyche, she started thinking about how pretty Bella was and European art. I wanted to see more and furrowed my brow as she kept me out.

She laughed, giving me a meaningful look. "This is going to be interesting."

Jasper smiled apologetically before I could answer her and jumped in. "I'm Jasper. It's also a pleasure to meet the both of you."

Bella gave them a huge smile, obviously feeling the effects of Jasper's talent. "It's so nice to meet both of you, too."

I groaned. This was too much. "Well, Bella hasn't eaten. Let's go inside, shall we?"

And with that, I went to have dinner with two vampires and my Bella, preparing myself for an interesting night.

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**Please tell me what you think? Did you like B & E's discussion? xoxo!**


	21. Chapter 21

**I am sorry for taking a little longer with this chapter. I needed a week to reread the story and really think about its future. ;) I've enjoyed the story, and we're at a pivotal point. I didn't want to eff it up, and I needed Edward and Bella to speak to me. Review and let me know if you're happy/sad/etc.  
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**A special thanks to VoltActionSniper, my-lil-pixie-friend, her badass sister, Absolutely Cullen and Topaztearz for helping with this chapter in particular. Shonda, you are so freaking wonderful, too. I was in this crappy bar a few nights ago, not nearly drunk enough and wishing I was home writing fan fic, when I read your review on my blackberry. It made my night. I love you.  
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**Disclaimer: You know, and I know, that I don't own Twilight. However, I am still working on that stalker club...**

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The restaurant was about to close, so we hurried in to get a table. The waiter's eyes widened at the sight of the four of us. I couldn't blame him; we made for an interesting group. He was surprised at our beauty and our pale, matching complexions. I thought it was funny that Bella looked just as pale to him as we did. I hadn't really thought about it, but Bella was practically as fair as a vampire.

The man was also disappointed that he'd have to turn us away for dinner. "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the evening," he said ruefully. "We are open tomorrow, though, until 10:00PM."

Jasper pulled out his wallet without hesitation. With a polite, southern drawl, he slipped the man a hundred dollar bill. "I'm sure you can accommodate us. We've been traveling for quite a while and could really use a good meal. We won't be any trouble."

The man stared at Jasper, awestruck. Jasper looked too young to have that kind of wealth to throw around. However, the man knew the staff could split the money, and it would equal all of their salaries for a week. With a courteous smile, he told us to pick any table we wanted and ran into the kitchen with the exciting news. I looked at Jasper approvingly. I liked him already.

After we seated ourselves in the most secluded part of the restaurant, Bella surprised us by being the first to speak.

"I have a favor to ask," she began.

"Yes?," I said curiously. Everyone else listened attentively.

Bella cleared her throat. "Obviously, you all have certain, um, communicative advantages. Unfortunately, I don't have any, and I really want to be a part of this discussion. If possible, could we please try to speak aloud, for my benefit?" She looked at me pointedly, and Alice laughed.

"I think that's a fair request." Alice was still giggling. "Edward, can you manage that?"

I frowned. "I can try, but I can't make any guarantees. I can't exactly turn off my, what did you call it Bella?" I gave her a grin. "Ah yes, my _communicative advantages_. But, I can try to be as open as possible."

"I just don't want secrets," she said firmly. "I want to know everything you know. You promised." Her chocolate eyes pleaded with mine. I reached up and put a finger on her pouting bottom lip, contemplating her request. I had no idea what Alice would show me. Could I promise to tell her everything? I sighed, realizing that I didn't have a choice. She deserved honesty, and we had already agreed on as much. She kissed my finger, still pleading, and I acquiesced.

"Okay. No secrets, Bella."

She gave me a satisfied smile. "Alright, then. That's all I wanted to say."

Alice raised her eyebrow doubtfully.

Bella blushed. "Well, that's all I want to say for now, anyway. I'm sure I'll say plenty later."

The waiter came over and took our order. The three of us decided to pretend to eat, and we chose random Italian dishes. Our booth was secluded enough for us to inconspicuously hide our food. Bella ordered spaghetti and a soda. I would feel so much better once she'd eaten something. She hadn't consumed a full meal since the meadow, and that felt like a lifetime ago.

Alice was keeping her thoughts busy by translating William Blake's _Jerusalem_ into Sign Language. Once the waiter left, I leaned back in my chair and eyed Alice guardedly. "So, you're still keeping me out, huh? Is it that bad, _fortune teller_?" I was teasing, but I saw that Jasper got a little irritated at my disparaging term. I kept a straight face and waited for her to answer me.

Thankfully, she wasn't offended, having already anticipated my skepticism regarding her ability. She sighed. "As you saw outside, I started 'seeing' you several months ago. Actually, to be fair, I saw Carlisle a few years ago, and Jasper and I have been practicing your family's vegetarian ever since. _You_ didn't start coming to me until later." She shook her head, remembering something unpleasant, and Jasper grabbed her hand out of support.

I listened intently, waiting for her to continue. "Just like you, Edward, I can't block out my extra…ability. I can concentrate on it, just like you can, but I can never turn it off. When I saw you, I knew I needed to find you."

"Well, what have you seen? Clearly, you've convinced Carlisle." I was growing impatient and wanted her to show me.

She spoke without breaking our eye contact. "You're going to kill Bella."

I heard Bella gasp and almost fall out of her seat. I stared in horror at Alice, and Jasper sampled my mood, ready to defend his mate.

"What?," I choked out.

At long last, Alice opened her thoughts to me. My posture went rigid as my mind became brutally submerged in nightmares that would haunt me for the rest of eternity. In each one, Bella lay lifeless and cold. In the more terrifying nightmares, I stood engorged with her blood. It just didn't matter. In every scenario devised, if I left Bella human, it would only be a matter of time. We would get too intimate, or in too close proximity to others of my kind, and I wouldn't be able to protect her. I couldn't deny the truth in what I saw. Alice was right; I would kill Bella. It was cruel, and it was reality.

At the heart of each nightmare was my hideous nature. I was the predator, and no matter how much I loved her, Bella was my prey. Our lives couldn't traverse without this truth rearing its ugly head. I'd known all along that I would be her demise. Bella had been right before; she was destined to die that night in Atlanta. My interference only delayed the inevitable. Of course I would destroy my sun and heaven; I was a monster.

Bella found her voice while I continued to suffocate. "Tell me what you saw, Edward."

I couldn't move or speak. I wanted to answer her, but I couldn't find the words to tell my beloved that I hadn't saved her after all, that I would kill her, and that our love wouldn't be enough to stop me.

"Alice?," she implored when I didn't answer her. "Tell me. What did you show him?"

Alice spoke quietly and full of remorse. "If you don't become like us, you will die. It doesn't matter whether Edward abstains from human blood, and it doesn't matter where the two of you go. It's too dangerous. I can't see the exact outcome, but he'll eventually kill you, and that will…kill him. I could run through the many scenarios I showed Edward, that I've seen, but…" Alice then shifted her gaze to look at me tentatively. Jasper stayed silent and alert, waiting for me to do something. I still hadn't moved.

Bella, witnessing my torment, shook her head. "No, I don't think that's necessary, Alice. I believe you."

The waiter returned with our drinks and food; the kitchen wanted to give their best customers speedy service. Upon seeing our pained faces, he hurriedly put down our order and left us alone.

"So, what do we do?," Bella said in a small, brave voice. "How do we do this?"

"No," I said brokenly, finally finding my voice. "Don't, Bella." I put my head on the table, trying to hide my agony from her. I'd hurt her enough.

She reached out to me, but I involuntarily flinched from her touch. I couldn't feel her warmth; I wasn't deserving of it. She took a long moment before speaking again, unsure of what to do. "When do you think we need to do this?," I heard her ask Alice softly. "How soon?"

Alice kept her gaze on me but spoke matter-of-factly to Bella. "Well, you begin menstruating in a week. Is that right?" Bella blushed furiously at Alice's comment, and my head shot off the table. I had forgotten that human women bleed monthly. How could I have forgotten that, and how would that affect me? What other scenarios had I overlooked?

"Yeah," Bella stuttered, "I, I'd meant to ask Edward about that." Her beautiful blush deepened as she gave me a furtive glance. "So, I suppose that's a problem?"

"Yes, it is. Edward really shouldn't be around you during that time, but I can't imagine him leaving you alone for a week. Because of how uncertain everything is, it may be better to do it sooner."

In Alice's thoughts, I saw a vision of how excruciating it would be to endure Bella's menstruation. I winced at the potency of what I saw. Thus far, I'd avoided direct contact with Bella's blood. Even through Alice's vision, the scent of Bella's flowing blood caused me physical pain. As I sat at the table, my eyes darkened with desire and venom flooded my mouth. I immediately felt the urge to hunt.

Jasper looked at me worriedly, sensing my thirst, but I waved him off. I knew how to control these urges, but if this was my response to a mere thought, it would certainly be much harder in reality. Even with human blood in my system, I was a constant risk to Bella's well-being. She was just too tempting, and I was just too deplorable.

"You're wrong," Jasper whispered. Bella gave him a curious look, and he clarified his comment for her. "Edward feels upset with himself. He thinks this is his fault."

"It is," I said. It really was.

Bella unleashed the full force of her eyes on me. "Edward, I told you I'm ready. I meant it. We can't blame ourselves, and we can't hate the world for putting us in this situation. We have to be grateful that we've found each other. Either way, I was dead. I know you don't like to hear that, but it's true. Now, I get to be with you."

I looked at the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen, and I said the only words that mattered. "I love you, Bella. I don't want to hurt you."

"As long as you stay with me, you can never hurt me." She brushed my cheek, and I trembled.

"You need to eat, Bella," Alice said gently.

We finished our dinner in silence. There was nothing more to say, nothing as significant as what had just transpired. We were all too tense, even with Jasper's bombarding us with positivity. I realized that, if not for his presence, I would've run from the restaurant as soon as Alice revealed her thoughts to me. His talent was useful, that's for sure.

We paid our bill and left, agreeing to meet at the hotel. Despite Bella's protests, we all insisted that she sleep. Jasper could feel how exhausted she was, and anyone could see the circles under her eyes. This had been an exhausting day.

I lay down next to Bella. Alice and Jasper excused themselves from our room and went to get one of their own. They could tell that I wanted privacy with Bella.

I hummed a lullaby into her thick hair. She whispered that she loved me and nestled into my arms with a soft sigh. My throat ripped with fire, but I focused on the pain. In a matter of what could be hours, I would never experience this again. As much as it hurt to inhale in Bella's scent, I didn't want to forget anything about her. Every moment mattered.

Once Bella's breathing steadied, I heard Alice speak to me in my mind.

"Edward, Jazz and I have a room right next door. We just checked in for one night. I think that we should head back north to Forks tomorrow. Jasper can go find Carlisle, and I'll stay with you and Bella. I think you can agree that he needs to be with us."

"Okay," I whispered. I knew she could hear me.

"Edward, I want to show you one more thing." I looked into Alice's mind, unable to refuse, anyway. Suddenly, I saw Bella and me by a crackling fireplace. Our skin matched perfectly, and our eyes were topaz. I was kissing her cheek, and she looked supremely happy. I felt our love for one another in Alice's thoughts. She was still the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Her long hair and beautiful curves clung to me tightly in the vision. She was my Bella.

"I wanted you to see that all of this is going to be okay. And for what it's worth, you're not a monster. You deserve Bella, just as much as she deserves you. You'll feel happiness again, Edward." Without another thought, I heard her leave the door and go back to her own room.

I spent the rest of the night listening to Bella's breathing, memorizing its rhythm. I listened to her heart, the most significant sound in my world. I silently apologized for her loss, for everything that I'd take away from her. Lastly, I said a prayer to Carlisle's God. I'd never had a reason to pray before, but now, I needed to believe that there was an afterlife for Bella. When eternity ended, I wanted Bella to feel the sun again.

After several short hours, I felt Bella stir. Her hair was covering my chest, and her cheek was resting on top of her small hand. I knew she was awake, but she hadn't moved yet.

"Good morning," I said gently. "How'd you sleep?"

She propped herself up with her arms and rubbed her eyes groggily. "I can't trick you, can I?"

"Nope." I smiled.

"You stayed with me all night."

"Yes."

"Thank you," she said with meaning. "You must've been bored."

"No, love," I said as I stroked her back. "I was definitely not bored. I could never be bored with you in my arms."

She ducked her head and flushed. "Well, I sleep better when you're near me, so I'm glad."

She started biting her lip adorably, and I knew she wanted to say something. "What's on your mind, Bella?," I asked. "Tell me."

"I was wondering…what's it like to never sleep? I'm curious to know what to expect." She looked embarrassed but waited for my answer. I heaved a sigh and tried to be honest.

"I don't really know. I can't remember what it's like to need sleep. I suppose I have a lot more time, but then again, time means something completely different for me than it does for you." I shrugged. "I guess that's not a very good answer."

"No, it's a perfect answer. Do you wish you _could_ sleep?"

"For most of this existence, I've felt like I was sleeping in a way. I was awake, but I wasn't really alive. I didn't start feeling alive until I met you." I frowned. "I only wish I could sleep when you do."

She seemed satisfied with my answer. "What do you miss most about being human?"

"Well, I'll never have children or raise a family. Granted, I never wanted those things when I was alive, but I died so young, I never really got the _chance_ to want them."

I paused and thought for a moment, trying to give a more thorough answer. "This might sound weird, but I suppose I miss being a part of the natural progression of life. Everything in this world grows, evolves, but we stay frozen forever. After a while, you start to feel cheated. It's like there's something bigger out there, but you'll never be a part of it. You just have to watch from a distance." I grimaced. "And there's the obvious. When you're human, you don't crave blood. I miss being free of _that_."

Bella tilted her head to the side, absorbing my answer, and then asked another. "How long will I be like Emmett?," she asked with her eyes down.

"That depends. It's different for everyone. For me, it was about a year. I don't know what it will be like for you." She could hear the ache in my voice. I didn't want to discuss this, but I knew I had to.

"Will you make me a promise, Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't want to kill anybody if I can help it. Can we go somewhere where I can't get to them? Will you help me? I understand why you've done it," she added quickly, "but I really don't want to do it. God, if I killed someone with a family…" She shuddered, and the look in her eyes broke my heart. It was so anxious and sincere. I wanted to be a better man, one that was worthy of Bella.

"Of course." I hugged her petite frame tightly to my chest, rocking her back and forth. I wished that I could apologize for everything, and especially for what was to come, but I knew she wouldn't listen to it.

"Please don't be upset, Edward," she mumbled. "This is what I want. I don't think I'm losing anything. Is this upsetting you?"

"No. I just wish I could be human for you."

She pulled herself off my chest and inched up to my face. Her scent stung my nostrils and twisted my stomach with thirst.

"You know what I wish?," she breathed.

I smiled crookedly. "You know I don't, Bella."

She returned my smile. "I wish you could read my thoughts. I wish you could see how I feel about you." She bent down even closer to me. "I want you to know that I'm not afraid." Finally, she closed the distance between us by pressing her warm lips to my marble skin.

I kissed her back fervently and wrapped my arms around her waist. I flipped us over and pushed my weight lightly into her. "My brave, exquisite Bella," I said against her lips, "We'll have an eternity to work on that."

I tried to be optimistic and think of Alice's vision, but I knew that the hardest days were yet to come. I had to survive those first, and I had to do all that I could to protect Bella. I braced myself with this realization, kissing my love with everything I had to give.

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**zomg _REVIEW_ please! Thanks for reading. **


	22. Chapter 22

**FINALLY! I had the house to myself this morning, so I used the time to put on some good music and get into Edward's head. I love being there, and I love telling this story, so thank you for your patience as I updated. **

**I am not S Meyer, the owner of Twilight. These characters belong to her. **

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EPOV

My anxiety grew by the minute as the four of us headed back to Forks. Jasper shot me several questioning looks, but I tried to ignore him. I hugged Bella tightly, and she pressed her hand into my neck, letting me know that she was okay. Her pulse beat against my stillness; its rhythm called to me, and I was reminded that I would soon take it away.

I was going to kill Bella. I was terrified and freaking out. I was going to claim her as a mate, because I wasn't strong enough to leave her. The closer we got to Forks, the more real all of it became.

I went back through the scenarios I'd seen in Alice's visions. As much as I wanted to question what she'd foreseen, I couldn't. Her visions were too convincing, and they confirmed my worst fears about the nature of my relationship with Bella. I was too much of a realist to believe that I could avoid hurting her. Further, there wasn't an ounce of malice in Alice's petite body. She was one of the more genuine people I'd ever encountered, and her sincerity made it impossible to doubt her.

So, what did this mean? Were we going to change Bella in the next week, before she menstruated? Again, dread gripped me. I wasn't ready to change her. Bella may be ready, but I wasn't. Even if I couldn't save Bella, maybe I could buy us more time. I had to think.

As we traveled into Forks, Alice spoke to me in my mind. _What are you doing, Edward? Why do I see you leaving? It won't help… The more time that passes, the more dangerous it becomes for her. _

"I know," I muttered, too low for Bella to hear.

Jasper headed out to find Carlisle when we arrived back to the house. Alice and Jasper shared a passionate embrace, and Alice assured Jasper that everything would be okay. He and Carlisle would return by nightfall. We just needed to relax until then.

Bella was in the bathroom when I spoke to Alice. "What do you see happening when Carlisle returns tonight?"

"To be honest, my visions keep changing, because you keep changing your mind. If you committed to one path, it would be easier for me to tell you."

"What seems the most certain? Give me anything, Alice. Please."

"Well, in all of the scenarios, I see Bella changed by the end of the week. I can't see yet what will happen if you leave, but I see the outcome being the same. I just can't be sure. We have a few days before it becomes really necessary…" I cringed at how little time we had.

"I need as much time with her as I can get." I would make each moment count.

"Of course. I understand."

Bella came out of the bathroom, looking radiant and refreshed. She wore another knee-length skirt and a button-down, green blouse. I breathed her in and temporarily forgot about my stress. She had a tendency to scramble my thoughts.

"It's going to be sunny this afternoon," Alice hinted. I needed to show Bella what we looked like in the sunlight. Thus far, I had been successful – and lucky – in hiding it from her. It was time.

"Bella, would you like to have lunch in the meadow?"

Her eyes brightened. "Sure! Alice, would you like to come?"

"No, I'll stay around here and hold down the fort. Thanks, though," she said warmly. Alice knew I wanted alone time Bella, but I could see how much she really did want to spend time with us. This was incredibly hard on Alice because, in her mind, she had already come to love Bella like a sister. I reminded myself to take it easy on Alice; it was clear in her thoughts that she wanted what was best for us.

I walked over to Alice and touched her arm gently. "Thank you."

She beamed at me, pure love in her thoughts. "You're welcome."

"Are you ready, Bella? Do you mind if we take the Tatra again?" I gave her a crooked grin. When she agreed, I asked to her wait for a moment as I ran upstairs. I grabbed a small jewelry box from my personal safe and put it in my pocket. I hoped for the opportunity to give it to Bella today.

We stopped in town to grab some food. I planned on it being a short trip, so I tightened my jaw when I heard the thoughts of Mike and one of his friends. I wasn't in the mood, so I hurried Bella along and tried to avoid them.

"Bella!," Mike called eagerly. I wouldn't be so lucky. "Hey, Cullen, Bella, wait up!"

I huffed, and Bella squeezed my hand. "It's okay," she murmured. "He's harmless. Think about puppies or something."

I started laughing. "It doesn't really work that way, Bella."

"It was just an idea." She looked a little offended at my laughing, so I forced my face into a serious expression and gave her a chaste kiss on her hand. Did Bella think about puppies when she was mad? She was adorable.

"Hey Mike," Bella said pleasantly, "How are you?"

He looked her up and down, and I seethed. "What's up Mike?," I said much less pleasantly. His friend had been told ahead of time how attractive Bella was, and he was making an assessment of her in his mind. I wanted to punch them both. I wandered if this would get any easier when Bella was a vampire, or if I would always be this jealous.

"You two left so quickly the other night, I wanted to make sure that you were alright." Mike really wanted to know if we were still together, and whether he'd get to hang out with Bella again. Since the carnival, he had been all but obsessed with thoughts of her. I barked out an uncontrollable laugh. _Welcome to the club,_ I thought acidly.

I ignored their questioning looks at my laugh and instead wrapped my arm around Bella's waist possessively. "We're fine. We've just been…busy," I said, kissing the top of Bella's head. I stroked her side and stomach while I talked, enjoying Mike's jealousy at my ability to touch her.

Bella didn't seem to appreciate my behavior, because she stepped out of my embrace and grabbed my hand. "Yes, we've been visiting with Edward's father. It's my first time meeting him." Bella shot me a warning look. "But we really should be going. It was good seeing you again." She started dragging me to the car, and I winked at Mike when Bella couldn't see. I was being arrogant and entirely too suggestive, but Mike pissed me off so much. I wanted him to think about how I'd be kissing Bella later and not him.

Once we were in the car, Bella gave me a reproachful look. "Really, Edward? Was that necessary? Poor Mike…"

"Poor Mike!?," I asked incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me! I'm sorry if I offended you – I know that wasn't very polite of me back there – but I will not apologize for tormenting Mike. If you knew what he was thinking about you, Bella…" I got angry all over again.

She sighed and looked at me for a long moment. Finally, a slow smile spread across her lips, and she leaned over the car's console to get closer to me. "You're dangerously handsome when you're jealous." I was glad she wasn't mad at me.

I growled and kissed her fiercely. Once she was breathless, I pulled away and smiled, satisfied with myself. "Let's get out of here."

We had just enough time to get to the meadow before the sun came out. Once we were there, I stood in the shadows on the fringe, looking at Bella as she stood next to me. As the sun came out and filled the meadow with buttery sunshine, she broke out into a huge grin.

"What?," I asked curiously. I wanted to know why she was happy, so that I could always make her grin like that.

"I feel like I haven't seen sunshine since leaving Florida. I love it! What a perfect day," she breathed.

I grew silent, feeling horrible. I would take her away from sunshine. "Bella, we need to talk about that. I have…something to show you."

She looked at me curiously, and then her eyes widened in dawning realization. "Are you…_burned_ by the sun? Edward, oh my God, don't show me - "

"No, it isn't that. It's probably best if I just show you. Don't worry."

She stared at me nervously as I stepped into the meadow. I heard her gasp, but I didn't look at her. I kept my eyes closed, afraid to see her reaction.

The sun felt amazing against my cold skin, although not nearly as wonderful as Bella felt. I unbuttoned my shirt, so that she could see more. I heard her approaching, and I finally opened my eyes to gauge her reaction. Her face was in awe, and she approached me with baited breath. She started running her hands over my skin, and I involuntarily trembled from her touch.

"You'll look like this, too," I whispered, feeling a little ashamed. "You'll never be able to experience the sun in public again. That's another thing I'll deprive you of."

She reached for my face. "I only want to experience it with you."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled herself against my body. We stood there for a long time, just holding each other and listening to the forest. I listened to her heart more than anything else. After a while, she moved her lips to my bare chest and kissed me. "I love you, Edward," she said fervently.

"I love you, too, Isabella."

We spent the rest of the afternoon lying in the grass and talking. She laid across my chest while I traced patterns on her back. Every time she would laugh, her body would move against mine temptingly, and I would have to restrain myself from assaulting her. She was so beautiful and soft. I tried to forget the fact that she was wearing another skirt. The last time we were in this meadow, she had been in a skirt. I had felt her legs, moved up her thighs, kissed her sultry skin…I wanted to do it again.

She bit her lip and fidgeted, clearly wanting to say something. "Just spit it out, Bella. You know you can ask me anything."

"Well, we've never talked about this, really. I'm just curious…" She flushed a deep scarlet.

"Yes?"

"Will we, uh, be able to make love…one day?" She ducked her head in embarrassment.

"Yes, once you're changed, it will be safe for us to do that." I spoke gently and stroked her hair. I didn't want her to be embarrassed.

"But not before?"

"No, not before. I could kill you." I frowned and looked at her shapely legs. "I probably would."

She looked disappointed and flushed again. I couldn't stand it. "Bella, tell me what you're thinking."

She shook her head. "No, it's stupid."

"Bella, tell me! I'm sure it's not stupid. No secrets, remember?" I pleaded with her.

"It's just that…I'm going to enter immortality a virgin." She was mortified by her words and rolled off my chest and into the grass, hiding her face.

My body shook with silent laughter, and she turned around to glare at me. "It isn't funny!"

"You're right," I said, trying to hide my mirth, "but I'm a virgin, too, Bella. We'll be undead virgins together." It really wasn't funny; if anything, it was a little morbid.

"So, you've never…done _that _with _anyone_?" She was clearly shocked.

"No, of course I haven't. You're the first woman I've even kissed," I said matter-of-factly.

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Why?" I was getting suspicious now. "How many men have you kissed?"

She blushed. "Not many. Only one other. It was back in Florida, and it was horrible. I always hated that it was my first kiss."

"Hmm," I said as I rolled her back onto me, making her giggle. "Let's pretend that I was your first kiss, then." She stopped laughing as I slowly brought my lips to hers. I kissed her sweetly, trying to suppress the desire that I felt for her. I wanted to make this special. Her hair fell around my face, and I was consumed by her touch.

She sighed sweetly as I moved my lips to her jaw. "Best first kiss ever," she whispered. "Thank you."

I agreed with a nod, and she lazily ran her fingers through my hair. I tried to control my lustful thoughts.

"Will I still look like me, after I change?," she asked after a few moments.

"Yes, you will, but you'll be slightly different. It's the nature of what we are to become predators. You'll change because of that."

"Will I be as beautiful as the rest of your family?," she asked timidly.

I gave her a penetrating gaze. "You _are_ as beautiful as my family, Bella. You're more beautiful. In fact, you are the _most _beautiful woman I've even seen, vampire or not," I insisted. "From the moment I saw you, I felt that way." When she didn't argue with me, I continued speaking. "The venom will change you, but you'll still be _you_. You'll still be my Bella."

"I believe that," she said quietly. "I believe that I'll still be me." She paused for a moment. "When do you think we'll do it? Tonight?"

I groaned. "It can wait, Bella. It doesn't have to be _tonight_." Again, I started feeling dread wash over me.

"But soon?"

I searched her face, looking for any fear or hesitation. Instead, she looked completely calm and self-assured. She was stronger than me in so many ways.

I avoided her question. "I feel like I've failed you," I admitted. "I know you don't want me to feel that way, but I do. I wish there was another way. I wish I could think of how to give you more time."

"Well, I'm not willing to wait," she said adamantly. "I don't want to get much older than you. I don't want to go through eternity looking like your older, middle-aged lover." She grimaced and gave me a quick kiss. "You haven't failed me, Edward. Sometimes, you're so ridiculous."

I laughed. "You're definitely the ridiculous one, love." She would never look like my middle-aged lover.

"What will we do after I'm changed?"

I thought for a moment. "We'll probably stay in Forks until you've gotten out of your initial newborn stage. After that, we'll go anywhere you want." I took her hand and started playing with her fingers. "I was thinking that maybe we could travel. I want to show you the world. We could spend some time in Europe."

"Really?," she squealed.

This was my moment. I gathered my courage and decided to do it now. "Yes. And then, I think we should go to school." I looked at her from under my eyelashes, speaking my next words carefully. "Of course, I'd want to marry you first."

She went completely still and stared at me, her full lips forming a small "O" shape.

I moved out from under her and grabbed her other hand tenderly. "I want to know that you'll be mine for all of eternity, Bella. I'll spend the rest of my existence worshiping you, trying to be worthy of you. I promise you that." If I was going to take her life, I wanted to do it as honorably as I could. I wanted to give her everything.

I let go of one of her hands and pulled out the jewelry box from my pocket. "This was my mother's ring," I said nervously. I opened the box and removed the ring, placing it on her delicate finger. I looked at Bella with a worried expression. She still hadn't spoken. "Do you like it? I can get you something else…"

Bella surprised me by bursting into tears and throwing her arms around me. I stumbled back, overwhelmed by her scent. "Yes," she cried. "Of course I'll marry you. I love the ring, Edward. You are ridiculous. It's beautiful. I love it," she said again. She sobbed and started kissing my neck.

Happiness swelled in my chest. "Thank you, Bella. Thank you for saying yes."

She took my face in her hands, searching my eyes with her beautiful brown ones. "Thank you for asking me."

We stayed in the meadow for a few more hours, holding each other and talking more about my family. She wanted to know everything about Esme, Carlisle and Rosalie.

"So, are Alice and Jasper going to stay for good?"

"That seems to be Alice's intention, and Jasper will follow Alice anywhere. He adores her. I know how he feels," I said.

"Wow. This is so much change for your family. Between Emmett, Alice, Jasper, and now me, you've more than doubled in size!" Bella shook her head in disbelief, distractedly playing with the ring on her finger. "Will we all live together?," she asked.

"I have no idea," I said honestly. "We can live separately if you want, but it's usually safer for us to stay in a coven. As you know, not all of our kind practices our lifestyle, and sometimes that creates problems for us. It's better to stick together. Besides, it's nice to have the company."

"I want to get to know your family. I think it would be nice to live with them."

"We'll need to look for a bigger house. Esme will enjoy that." I smiled at the thought of my mother. If everything worked out, she would be in heaven. All she ever wanted was a big family and for her children to be happy.

I told Bella this, and she stared off into the woods. "I've never really felt like I had a family. I think your mother is wonderful." Her eyes were brimming with emotion, and I cupped her warm cheek. "I feel like I'm getting so much, Edward. I've never been so happy or excited in all of my life."

Once again, I tried to suppress my anxiety and guilt. Although I shared Bella's excitement, I couldn't shake my fears. Bella would feel pain before she felt happiness. Nothing was more certain than that.

"We should head back, Bella. Carlisle and Jasper will probably be back soon."

"Alright. Let's go."

I grabbed her before she could stand up, pulling her against me as she gasped. We shared one last kiss in our meadow. It was slow and tender, full of promise. I kissed down the length of her neck and found her pulse. I kissed it tenderly, swallowing back venom. It sped underneath my lips, and Bella shivered in response. "Mine," I said softly, kissing back up to her lips. "Forever."

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**Please review. I need the encouragement!! I really appreciate all of you reading. Thank you!  
**


	23. AN

**Epic A/N**

**First Off, please forgive me for writing an Author's Note as a chapter. As a general policy, I would never do this, but I thought it necessary for 'To Avenge.' Sorry if you're let down! Now, onto some housekeeping matters: **

**- I WILL finish Avenge, and I will do my best to make it worth the wait! This story is not abandoned - just on a temporary hold. It means too much to me to leave it unfinished, so I can guarantee an ending (probably **_**at least**_** another 10 chapters). **

**- I will begin frequent updates after **_**MAY 15th**_**; 'frequent' means more than twice/week. Please forgive me for not updating much until then. I am in school, and it is very demanding (last semester of grad school and I'm taking 18 credit hours). **

**- Lastly, this story means a lot to me. I have an 'M' story that I write, but even that is being put on hold. Just so you know, it is 100x easier to write the 'M' story than it is to write Avenge, because Avenge takes so much more concentration. I don't want to mess it up. **

**Your support means the world to me. I welcome any advice or requests about how the story continues. If you're taking the time to read this, it's your story as much as it's mine. We'll finish this journey together in a few months! **

**Love you All! **

**Erin (Erestellea) **


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